An Attitude of Gratitude

Thank YOU, my precious ones, for not getting too annoyed with me this past.... year.  You, my faithful readers, friends, supporters, and family, have aided the wind beneath my wings.  It has been all too long since I've provided a decent update for you, so let me see if I can do justice to the neglect.

As the summer began, I posted a calendar of what was to come.  And, those events have all come and gone... among many other things.  The summer has FLOWN by and will soon be tucked under a blanket of fall colors and autumnal winds until next June.  

The events of this summer have brought great amounts of growth and stretching.  My faith has been tested from one day to the next.  How so?  In simple, daily living.  Last year, the faith was tested in great obvious ways- visa, housing, school, relationships.  This summer, my [faith] has been further established in the small details of who Cree is.  Peace has become something that I will to experience and exhibit, rather than anticipate appearing.  Love has become my hiding place.  

It's been a summer of gifts.  Since my birthday in May, it's just been one sweet, honoring gift after another.  Some examples include a new passion, restored vision, encouragement when least expected, financial blessings, new songs, ministry partners, and a new sense of easiness.  I got a good coffee date with Daddy Steve in the middle of June.  Hallelujah for that coffee date.  He and I talked through so many things going on around us and how to move forward.  It was refreshing to talk to an American dad face-to-face and get some sound fatherly input.  While I have great elders here, there are so many little cultural things that really make a big difference when seeking advice.  It was then that I was most at odds about whether or not to stay another year... and HOW to stay another year.  Steve is obviously partial to young people moving to Austria, but he provided such an objective perspective about all the details (staying or leaving).  Exactly three days later, I finally made my heart and mind decision to STAY, as a student.

It has been a summer of fun.  Once work and school ended for the year, I was able to breathe a little and jump fully into the ministry.  A team from America (PA) came over at the end of June/beginning of July to help with our summer camp and many to stay for 3 months.  I have to admit, when they first arrived, it was too much for me.  At that first camp meeting with everyone, I thought I would explode.  SO MUCH AMERICAN CULTURE AND AMERICAN ENGLISH IN ONE ROOM!  I feel I can say this without offending any of them (you)- I didn't want anything to do with them (you), at first.  I was FINALLY confident in being here and then they (you) come and screw it all up!  When I arrived at the Brauhaus, I was polite and reluctantly introduced myself, but it wasn't until the end of the night that I really decided I was genuinely happy to have them (you) there.  Sorry, to all of you!  Then, the fun really began.  These guys fall into the category of gifts and fun from this summer.  I realized how much I missed little things about the American culture and language.  Even more, though, this is a great group of solid people.  Friendships grew from within this group that I wasn't expecting- thanks for seeing past my stubbornness! 

Some fun events from the last month: lots of ice cream, Kirsch's visit, hiking in Eisenerz, swimming, a weekend in Wolfsberg, Smor-ba-que with house group and the J-team (practically the A-team, but cooler).  Now that the PA team has begun to leave, I'm sad to see them go.  My heart is thrilled to know many will come back for long term, but the others- I look forward to seeing you again eventually... even if it means a trip to Harrisburg the next time I'm State-bound!! 

It's been a summer of productivity.  I won't write too many details here, because it is boring.  But, many tasks have been completed for Blast, other ministries, and for me personally.  I am applying NOW for my visa extension.  It seems the little details are coming together and I will be able to submit my application the week of the 14th!!  I'll keep you posted.  This year here will be different from the last year and soon, I will be writing a more specific letter about what that entails.  A sneak peak- I won't be working regularly this year, as I did last year.  This will allow increased freedom in my schedule to do more of what I am actually here to do in ministry, but requires a greater faith and support in finances.  We'll talk about that at another time, though.

I've missed all of you and I've missed blogging.  In the next few weeks, routine will re-enter my life.  I am hoping, that at that time, to be able to blog more regularly and to even have dates with you again!

Wolfsberg gang- thank you for your commitment this summer and for seeing beyond my early moments of resentment!  Like I said when I was down there, it is SUCH an encouragement to have had you here, sharing and working toward a vision with you.  Even if you've felt your time here was limited or what you've come to do is "practically nothing", I assure you that you've had purpose and change has been set in motion because of your willing heart.  Thank you.  To you, especially who are not returning for a year commitment, I pray you're able to take something from Austria back to the States with you.  Your being here hasn't been only to serve, but also to be served.  May you experience that as truth.

Thank you everyone, again, for all of your support and encouragement this summer (this year)!  And, thank you for all your patience and understanding!  I value and love each of you!!

Covenant Friendship- Only an Introduction

Since we've all been slackers, and yes, I really do mean all of us in the blogging community... regardless of the excuse, new job, too much homework, a new baby, etc... we've been TERRIBLE... right, my main point, since we've all been slackers recently, I've decided to make a step in a more motivated direction! At least, for today I am... I'll probably go back to being a slacker in due time. :-)

It's funny how the Lord develops relationships. I had a number of friends (according to the American definition) before I moved over here. There were quite a few people I knew in the church and from other connections around Graz. During the first months, though, these relationships seemed non-existent, with the exception of very few. It was a trying time. It was a lonely time. I don't know what I've said on this topic before, so I could very be repeating myself, but I'm going to talk about it again anyway.
I am one week shy of having lived here for nine months, and now am I really feeling confident and comfortable in these relationships. I will talk about the cultural explanations for such struggles, but I don't blame only nationality for this time. I confess to having had my own deal of *crap* to get through with the Lord and this simply would not have been possible in a land plentiful of many friends. I also confess to having closed eyes for a season and thus, I confess to unintentionally hurting some of my Austrians along the way.
Austrian people are, as stereotyped, hard, cold, distant, and rude. Though not quite so as the German picture, they are disciplined and regimented. They are not at all anything like the Von Trapp family (aside from the occasional Lederhosen and Dirndl). So, no British accents, no driving on the left side of the road, no singing with every step through the market, no whistles, no Edelweis in English, etc. Right, back to my point.... Austrians, like the majority of Continental Europe, drive on the right side of the road. No, that still wasn't my point, but before anyone embarrassed themselves, I just wanted to bring some clarity. What WAS my point? Austrians as people.... This seemingly harsh surface is really only a surface. They aren't so hard and cold, they simply aren't small talkers (aside from the little old ladies living in Julia and Sula's apartment building). Getting to know any Austrian involves hurdles and hoops. It means proving yourself. It means inviting the Austrian over and over again until he or she finally says "yes" and allows you into their heart. It's tough work. It's exhausting and even discouraging if you're not used to such a repetition of what appears to be rejection. I was always told to "stick in there" and that Austrians are "friends for life." I can say, now, that I see what was meant by that. While the early steps of relationship with Austrians appears impossible, once an Austrians chooses to trust you, care about you, and love you as a friend, they will not let you go. They are covenant friends, only it takes them a while to choose to make the covenant.
Somehow, for me, this situation was different even still. There's another culture to be added to the equation- Kingdom Culture. Because the majority of the people I associate with are Christians, this concept of relationship is even a bit different. In this case, many of my developing relationships involved the struggle between Earth-bound culture and Heavenly Culture. It meant often, from both parties, letting go of familiar ways to approach a person and allowing the Lord's love make the statement for the friendship. This means a quick love and trust (at least to a certain level). This blessing of Kingdom culture allowed for open doors for prayer support and simple coffee dates. This allowed for meeting in the middle between American Small Talk and Austrian Walls. It meant willfully opening gates that would normally be closed and locked. It meant realizing a new level of trust in the Lord. And now, these relationships that have been growing in the last nine months are some of the most precious, closest, dearest relationships I've known.
Covenant friendship... ask the Spirit to show you what that means. For me, it means fighting on behalf of my brothers and sisters. It means standing in agreement to see them reach their potential. It means having fun playing tag on the Schlossberg. It means enchiladas, beer and a game of Oh Hell. It means crying, laughing, cheering, falling, rising, growing, praying, talking, dancing, working... loving... all in a way that represents the Gospel of Truth in a way that the world craves such a friendship.
For a long time, I've approached my friendships in this way- or at least I've tried. Once I let you into my heart, you're there perpetually. I think what's changed for me, though, is how I allow you there and what exactly I'll do with you once you're there.

I charge you with this examination- are your relationships something you can find in the World or are they something that the World finds attractively different?

Praise Awaits You...

Freude Freude Freude .....

Joy Joy Joy .....

The God we serve is always at His very best. How assuring is that?

It's been a great season, Friends. The last weeks have been incredibly busy and stressful. I've been running around Austria, Croatia, and the Holy of Holies with such a new intensity and intentionality.

You know what shakes a city and changes a nation? The love of the Father.

Something I've mentioned before, I've always been known as the "strong one" and the "warrior." And you know, this is true. I am a warrior and I am a strong woman of faith. However, this warrior's prayers have been reformed. I've found that the best prayers I can offer sound something like, "Abba Father, help!" The "funny" thing is that this simple cry has been the most effective prayer I've offered in the last year.

This weekend has been absolutely fun. I arranged for a group from my House Group to go to Wolfsberg. You've read about Steve Espamer in previous posts. He's been here for the last two months with two other great men (Jason and Alex). They've spent the bulk of their time in Wolfsberg ministering to the young people there. This week, 5 of us went to join in the fun and to see what's happening with our own eyes. We participated in an evangelistic youth meeting consisting of a few worship songs, a short presentation of who our Father is, and then a great time of fellowship. After the service, we went to the bars. Just hanging out in the world and having a great, righteous time together is simply ... good. :-) Saturday morning, Jason was nice enough to let me help him make blueberry pancakes for everyone (something like 15 of us total for breakfast!). We got to see the new apartment downtown (testimony to follow) and then walked up to the castle. Of course, this time with Steve, Jason, and Alex is special for me, as I get the opportunity to embrace a familiar earthly culture. I think, though, somehow even more precious to me is the opportunity for deeper connection and development of relationships with my Austrian brothers and sisters. These trips give us the opportunity to learn more about each other and hang out without the church atmosphere. Yes, the best way to know a man's heart is to pray with him, but we aren't only spiritual beings. So, to my Austrians who will happen to read this, thank you for a wonderful weekend (and a wonderful 8.5 months so far)!
Returning to Graz led us STRAIGHT to lunch. :-) and eventually church. Church has been so fun recently. Worship has been SOARING and breaking into new dimensions (I pray the same is happening for you). A team from Prepare International (a ministry partner based in Texas) came to Graz this weekend to prep for a prayer trip throughout Continental Europe (Czech, Belgium, Croatia). First of all, these guys from Texas have amazing hearts and it is always a blessing to have them here with us. Second of all, I feel like all this exposure to other Americans is like little kisses from the Lord, just for me. It is a real blessing and honor to be a part of such a humble, effective, anointed community. There's NOTHING more encouraging than being EXACTLY where you are supposed to be WHEN you are supposed to be there. Thank you, Heavenly Father, for this plan you have for me.
After church, Sulamit, Bella and I simply weren't ready to separate, yet. Into the city we went! We hung out over drinks at one of the Irish Pubs (Flann O'Brien). Laughing... playing cards. Which, you know how difficult it is to find a card game to play when there are two cultures involved? Man... I tell you. I've come a long way climbing over cultural boundaries, but this card game search reminded me, yet again, how fun and creative God is. We ended up playing a riveting game of BS.
Today, I'm in the office on BLAST Hill. There's a prayer seminar downstairs with this team from Texas. I'm organizing some things here and enjoying the joyful atmosphere.
I am preparing my heart for the conference in Sarajevo. I am getting PUMPED... PSYCHED... STOKED... for this conference. My heart is enamored with the Balkans. I feel like the slightest bump would pop the love I have for this region and the women there. I would like to use this opportunity to make another plea for your prayer support in this time. I don't just mean DURING the conference, but these last 2 weeks leading up to the conference and the weeks to follow.
I can't believe how quickly time is flying. My birthday is just 3 weeks away, Cle comes in 4 weeks... wow wow wow!





The following is a copy of a testimony about the apartment in Wolfsberg I just wrote about.
Saturday morning we got a call from the owner of the Christian book store. He said we (Meinrad and me) had to rush there right away, that there was a woman that had a flat for rent, going on the market Monday, but she was just getting ready to leave for Vienna. She heard about what God was doing and wanted to talk to us first.

She has been praying for 5 years for God to do something for the youth of the city. Her flat is strategically located, right in the center of town, right where all the kids hang out, and she was heart broken over what she was seeing. She said she wanted to "give" the flat to somebody who was working with the youth but for 5 years never found anyone. She was holding out in hopes of being able to give the place to a youth outreach. She had no success in finding anything so was putting the place on the market on Monday. But she forgot her cell phone in Vienna so went to the Christian book store to use the phone, as she was friends with the owner for many years. She told him what she was about to do.

But he just "happened" to be at our meeting on Friday night, where Jason and I were leading worship, and where he saw one of the non church kids get instantly healed of pulled ligaments in her ankle. So he told her about us and she wanted to meet us before she left town in a few hours. We had a nice visit and told her what God was doing and what was on our hearts. 20 minutes later, right there on the spot, she "gave" us the flat, completely rent free, starting with a 3 year agreement! All we have to do is pay utilities and it is all ours. She gave us the key that day!

So now we have a home base to live or house interns, and to have kids over for meetings, right in the center of where all the youth hang out!

finally worth reading

Many of you have been asking about things and I realize that my updates as of late have been scarce and really only about the logistics of my staying here. Sorry for that. I finally have some time this afternoon before church so I will see what I can do to provide a worth while update.

By category--

Work:
Teaching in Eggersdorf is going well. We had some bumps along the way with my availability. As these things have settled, my time at the school has become more enjoyable. The students are from 11-14 years old. We have a great time together. In some cases, I will teach an entire class about American culture or geography. Some lessons, I will rotate small groups thrughout the class duration and we will practice reading and speaking. Other lessons still, I meet with a small group for the entire class time and we only practice speaking. I want to teach the students to love language and to enjoy using English. I remember my first years of learning Spanish were terrible for me. I saw no real purpose and therefore, did not want to learn. I don't want that for these kids. I know that language learning is not easy, and for some, it is right-out difficult. These are the kids I like working with the most. How do I teach them to enjoy English? We talk about fun things! Yeah, sure they love learning about American sports, food, school systems, etc. but I am willing to talk with them about anything they enjoy. If the students in a small group only want to talk about their plans for the weekend, that is okay with me, so long as they use English. The kids have become pretty warm toward me and really even take good care of me. They also help me with my German in some small, fun, and important ways. All in all, we have a great time together. I am at the school for a total of 7 lessons (periods) each week.

Uni:
Learning German is not easy but is is becoming more and more fun for me. I am now able to understand very well and my speech is improving week by week. I look forward to the day I can communicate with out translation!

BLAST:
things with BLAST slowed down for the last month but they are picking up speed (QUICKLY) again. We have three schools coming up the last week of November into the first week of December. We also have a BLAST Team meeting next weekend, so Sula and I have been busy organizing and trying to keep up. All of this work is even more difficult to manage now that we both are full swing into the semester and we neither of us has a consistent way to travel to the office.

OTHER CATEGORIES--
Crossways:
Sparing you the details, as of about three weeks ago, I was adopted as the bass player for Crossways, Julia's band. Sadly, we've only had one rehearsal since I joined. We have our next performance/contest on December 12. I'm looking forward to it, though I still have a lot of practicing to do.

Culture:
I am attending my first Austrian Matura Ball next weekend. It's along the lines of a prom but a bit different. The purpose is to celebrate the graduating class. "Matura" is the name of the final exams that Austrian students have to pass. I'd explain it to you in more detail, but I'm not really sure how it is, yet.

Ministry:
Housegroup has been AWESOME these last weeks. We've been really growing as a family and learning to love each other as such. Steve Espamer, from Pennsylvania, has been with us for the last few weeks. Steve comes to Austria a few times a year for missions. This trip, he brought a friend named Ron. These two guys are great. It has been a real treasure of a blessing to have them joining our house group for these weeks. Last night, I went with them to a town called Wolfsberg to do some teens ministry. There was first a service combing the youth groups from the churches of Wolfsberg. Some people from 2 hours away even came for this service. There were for sure 8 first time salvations!! Many teens were touched in great ways, though- some healed, some encouraged, some just learning more about this God who loves them. After the service, we went back into town to do some bar ministry. We had some awesome conversations with people! All in all, it was an astonishing trip!

Now:
I am going to take my laundry out of the washing machine so it can dry. I think I might take a nap or watching something that doesn't require any thinking until it is time to leave for church.

I'll include some pictures of Graz in the fall, my drive to work, and Wolfsberg.

Redeeming Grace and Nurturing Glory

Two ingredients the Lord has been stirring into my heart.  

I feel like a pancake batter being turned into crepes (yes, just for you Jason!).  It's like my batter has the lumps in it that any good pancake chef knows are necessary for the PERFECT pancake consistency.  The lumps needn't be stirred out and they must also not be too large.  They are precisely what is required for a pancake breakfast.  Crepes, on the other hand (or in the other griddle), require the batter is completely beaten until smooth.  The ingredients between the basic pancake and the basic crepe are the same, though the latter calls for more sugar.  This mixing process; rather, the beating process, is what makes the difference in texture.  

The Lord is beating some of these lumps out of me.  Some of the lumps are little and some bigger, but He is carefully stirring through, making sure He touches each lump.  Some of the lumps were things that were "okay" or "good" for the last years.  These were things that were even necessary for what the Lord had for me in the past.  As I said, they were good things.  Now, though, He needs something slightly different.  He still wants me, Cree, with the taste He intended.  He still wants Cree for the ideas He has purposed.  It's just time for a new look and a new feel.  It is time for New Life.  Just as Sulamit has been praying, there will also be a new sweetness in me as a crepe.  

So how does breakfast/dessert relate to "redeeming grace and nurturing glory"?  The redeeming grace seems to speak for itself.  The grace of the Lord is so great that He desires to transform me from one shape to the next.  He makes me new.  Isn't it amazing how the mercies and love of the Father are new each day?  How each day we are being transformed into something new?  Yeah yeah yeah...anyway... about the nurturing glory.  As the Lord takes us into new things and changes us, the question is often, "okay, God, so how do I do this?  How do I be this new thing?"  His response is simple- a willing heart and time in His presence.  His glory is such that none can stand.  Being face to face with the god of the universe; hand in hand with the savior to all mankind, is what nurtures and fosters this change.  Yes, I (we) need to make the deliberate decision to allow this change and to step into this change, but we do that best by being the midst of the Lord.  Yeah yeah, "read my Bible and pray."  NO!  Make your way into the throne room, sit on the King's lap and let Him bathe you with His glory.  Never been to the throne room?  Don't even know what that means?  Ask me for more detail in a more personal setting (ahem, email).  Or, simply ask the Holy Spirit what this means and tell Him that though you don't understand where or what this is, you are willing to learn.  I can assure you He will begin to take you there.  And when He does, buckle your seat belt, it is going to be an indescribably adventurous ride.  

The summation::

I am doing alright.  I am aching, hurting, learning and growing.  But, I am okay.  I am situated... excuse me, situating myself into a new seat of trust.  I've lost it all and I am losing more.  It's a great time!  

V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N

Ahhh, Croatia. We had a great vacation. I cannot clearly explain to you how we really did NOTHING for an entire week. It was amazing! We sat in the sun, read, prayed, worshipped, swam, went for walks, watched movies (and episodes of Alias), enjoyed the Center of Baska, cooked, went for ice cream and drinks (because we wouldn't be who we are, otherwise!).... and so on. Like I said, it was great.
I had good time to press into the Spirit and seek some directions for my time here. This was a key. Now that I am back, my work-load has picked up the pace. I spent the day yesterday in the BLAST office working with Ina and Sula. Mostly, Ina gave an overview of some things that need to be taken care of regularly. I can't believe she leaves for PA in just a couple of weeks now. I am a little nervous about taking over all of her responsibilities. *deep breath* I CAN be a Type-A. I CAN be a Type-A. It will be alright. Franz has decided that I will take Ina's position and Sula will be my assistant as I need her. We already have three ministry schools approaching in the next two weeks. This is what has us busiest right now- registration and manual translation. It feels good to have so much work, though. I finally have a sense of ownership. I'm not just floating around waiting for things to start any more- I am here and I am working.
Speaking of work, I am supposed to meet my co-teacher this week. I have some lesson plans that I need to finish writing for her. Any one have any great ideas for conversation-focused lesson plans for 12-14 year olds?
I hope you are all doing well. Some of you have been heavy on my heart recently (especially those of you with leaky roofs). For you especially, know that I have not been able to rest in intercession for you since July. You stand on good ground.
My kids who started college this month- I'm proud of you guys! I hope you are enjoying these changes!