Wanna be Just Like You.....

The God we serve astonishes me with His graceful power. A revelation of who I am poured over me throughout the last week. I felt lost and desperate, not knowing where to turn for someone to simply understand. Wisdom and words of comfort were of no use. I needed someone to sit with me (Job 2:11-13) and recognize my suffering. I sought the Lord hour after hour for such assuagement. Speaking Psalm 116:7 to my soul, He brought peace to my weary heart. As I allowed Him to humble me, He taught me more intimately about His heart. When time came for me to emerge from the supernatural and spend time with people, I felt my soul quickly running back into a place of hiding. Again, desperation fell on me. So, I sought the Lord and cried to Him a plea for deliverance. I begged Him for a merciful revelation of how to level my emotions. His response was that which I had been avoiding, "Be vulnerable with me..." I told Him very pointedly, "No, not here. Not with these people I don't even know if I can trust." "You trust me?" He left me silent. Within moments, tears fell from my eyes. I did not just cry, but I wept. In time, the Lord settled me down again. At this point, I knew only to do what Cle would tell me to do- drink some tea and read my Bible till I feel safe again. I did that. While it worked for the brief moments I allowed, my sweet Jesus brought me to a safe place to be vulnerable . . . again. This time, as a child.

While on a walk tonight, the Lord spoke to me about this time being my Esther year. This excites me! He brought me to this song by Jason Upton. I've heard it many times, but tonight it spoke through me on a different level.
Just Like You
I tried to walk on the water and found myself under the sea
So with water up my nose I felt your hand come close to save me
I’ve tried to cast out the demons I’ve gone to the darkest of regions
When fear has me shaking you suddenly break in to save me

I desire
To be like you
Like any son or daughter
I want to be like my Father
I desire to be like you
You promised to never forsake me
So I’ll risk it all if you’ll make me like You

You stand beside me just waiting while I try to go it alone
Smiling You say son come here won’t you let me just help you
But frustrated I try to make it cause I’ve just got something to prove
Not knowing it is my weakness that perfects your power