I feel like a pancake batter being turned into crepes (yes, just for you Jason!). It's like my batter has the lumps in it that any good pancake chef knows are necessary for the PERFECT pancake consistency. The lumps needn't be stirred out and they must also not be too large. They are precisely what is required for a pancake breakfast. Crepes, on the other hand (or in the other griddle), require the batter is completely beaten until smooth. The ingredients between the basic pancake and the basic crepe are the same, though the latter calls for more sugar. This mixing process; rather, the beating process, is what makes the difference in texture.
The Lord is beating some of these lumps out of me. Some of the lumps are little and some bigger, but He is carefully stirring through, making sure He touches each lump. Some of the lumps were things that were "okay" or "good" for the last years. These were things that were even necessary for what the Lord had for me in the past. As I said, they were good things. Now, though, He needs something slightly different. He still wants me, Cree, with the taste He intended. He still wants Cree for the ideas He has purposed. It's just time for a new look and a new feel. It is time for New Life. Just as Sulamit has been praying, there will also be a new sweetness in me as a crepe.
So how does breakfast/dessert relate to "redeeming grace and nurturing glory"? The redeeming grace seems to speak for itself. The grace of the Lord is so great that He desires to transform me from one shape to the next. He makes me new. Isn't it amazing how the mercies and love of the Father are new each day? How each day we are being transformed into something new? Yeah yeah yeah...anyway... about the nurturing glory. As the Lord takes us into new things and changes us, the question is often, "okay, God, so how do I do this? How do I be this new thing?" His response is simple- a willing heart and time in His presence. His glory is such that none can stand. Being face to face with the god of the universe; hand in hand with the savior to all mankind, is what nurtures and fosters this change. Yes, I (we) need to make the deliberate decision to allow this change and to step into this change, but we do that best by being the midst of the Lord. Yeah yeah, "read my Bible and pray." NO! Make your way into the throne room, sit on the King's lap and let Him bathe you with His glory. Never been to the throne room? Don't even know what that means? Ask me for more detail in a more personal setting (ahem, email). Or, simply ask the Holy Spirit what this means and tell Him that though you don't understand where or what this is, you are willing to learn. I can assure you He will begin to take you there. And when He does, buckle your seat belt, it is going to be an indescribably adventurous ride.
The summation::
I am doing alright. I am aching, hurting, learning and growing. But, I am okay. I am situated... excuse me, situating myself into a new seat of trust. I've lost it all and I am losing more. It's a great time!
