because I just need to get it off my chest

NDAMUKONG SUH is the best player in NCAAF this season.  

if only defensive stats were as impressive to hear as the offensive.

secrets of nightfall?

Up late or up early?  No matter the perspective, I'm simply up.  I couldn't sleep last night and at this point in the battle, I'm beginning to lose ideas of how to make good use of the time.  After exercising my more disciplined routines, I am resolving to a well overdue blog entry and a sunrise run.  Okay, so maybe not with the sunrise, seeing as that won't happen for nearly 1.5 hours.  

We had our first snow of December on Sunday.  It's how a first snow should be.  Gentle, light, yet confidently taking its place.  Our FIRST, first snow was at the beginning of November.  The flakes were big, fat, heavy and wet.  Convinced they were leaving me with a minor concussion, I did my best to stay out of the falling globs- I took a bus to Croatia.  This time, though, I cuddled inside with My Savior, watching Him delicately lay His grace across the hills.  All the while, I asked Him for a new impression of who He is.  I encourage you to anticipate the script of our dialogue, though I'm certain you've lost faith in my consistency as a blogger.  

You might wonder why on Earth I'd consider running before sunrise after a snowfall.  My answer is practical; why not?  The below freezing temp considered, I've decided to take advantage of the Alpine Winter.  I no longer live in fear that the wind-chill will freeze my eyes open, leaving me blind and unaware of where that wind-power is actually carrying me.  No, there is no place like Nebraska, but this morning, I am oh-so-warmly-grateful to not be there.  Now, off to stir up those endorphins and get this Monday started on a good, cheerful note (or, wear-out my body and take a quick nap before class)!!

...and to all a good night!

Halfurkey in Koinonia

Thanksgiving tradition--

I am grateful for the opportunity to serve the living God.  I am grateful that I know Him, hear His voice, and by His grace I can be near to Him.  I am grateful for eternal salvation with assurance of promise, hope, and a future.  I am grateful.

Soaking this afternoon, while eating left over pumpkin pie, I am enjoying the glory of Abba.  Before I serve you any more pabulum (for you, Jo), I just HAVE to say- Kady makes AMAZING pie!  When possible, grind fresh ginger into the pumpkin pie rather than the powder.  THANK YOU KADY K! 

Koinonia is an incomparable cohesion.  Explicitly, the blessing of community with people of a shared vision, a shared heart, a shared PASSION is exactly what I am grateful for this afternoon.  Thanksgiving day is full of potential for frenzied hecticness.  My Thanksgiving was the opposite.  Easy, enjoyable and enchanting would be precise adjectives.  The morning started out with a final breakfast with my delightful Croatian sisters at about 8:45 a.m.  After 2 cups of Croatian coffee, I was ready to attack the biggest obstacle of the day - a 15.74kg (35lbs) fresh-from-the-farm-turkey to roast.  Testing the gas stove, I nervously struck my first match.  No flames.  Trying a second time, with very little hope, we testing the gas source in the oven.  No flames.  Alright, no problem.  I still have the electric oven that I can use.  Only difficulty is that this oven is approximately 18" x 18" x 18".  There is no way a 35lb bird is going to fit in this small oven.  So what did I do?  The only logical thing that anyone could do- I cut my turkey in half.  Ljubica, a great woman, assisted me in the dissection.  Really, it was more of an aggressive hacking, chopping, sawing; than a "cutting."  For the sake of remaining PG, we'll call it cutting.  Okay, bird cut in half and lying pan.  Next problem- fat birds have fat legs.  Off comes the drumstick.  Perfectly snug fit.  Tucked into his nest of foil, the halfurkey went into the oven at exactly 10:00 a.m.

An hour or so later, the Wolfsbergers arrived, arms full of Thanksgiving necessities.  Kady and Dylan had already baked 2 pies (an apple and a peanut butter), which quenched my nerves regarding the oven situation.  In we went, preparing food for 20 people.  We had no real plan of action, but we just moved right along from one dish to the next (and back to the first).  There was no angst nor stress.  We just laughed our way through and experimented.  I am not one to be proud nor boastful, but I am going to say- we made an EXCELLENT team and everything was palatable.  We cooked nearly everything without a recipe, naturally leading to many unavoidable taste tests.  Jesus had His hands in our cooking.  How often is it that you cook with 4 other people, for the first time, all having nearly the same taste for food?  We prepared deviled eggs, stuffing, gravy, a pumpkin pie, a veggie tray with fresh onion dip, and of course, the turkey.  Our guests brought the remaining side dished- green beans, corn, a fruit salad, cole slaw, and mashed potatoes (prepared in the same kitchen we were working).  I know, the list of what we actually cooked doesn't sound so impressive, but please keep in mind, 3 small burners on the stove range, a tiny oven, and cooking for 20 people.  

There is no real pressure for preparing the "perfect" Thanksgiving meal in a foreign country, right?  We Americans are the only "sound" judges of the meal, right?  WRONG.  For the last 2 weeks, Franz has been sharing his excitement for the holiday with me.  His first Thanksgiving meal, during his first visit to the States back in 1980, saved his opinion of the American kitchen; he reminded me of the story at least twice a day, every day for the last week.  Not to mention, Julia who'd also experienced a real Thanksgiving in America.  As far as Franz was concerned, it was ALL about "the bird" and how great "the bird" had to be.  Made me sweat a little.  This was my second experience roasting a turkey, and I think I have a gift for it- Bradley was delicious.  Yes, I named him.  When working with such a GINORMOUS beast of a bird, I couldn't help but name him.  And yes, I am pretty certain it was a him.  

We had delicious prosecco/sekt to start the meal with a movie-traditional toast, followed by Jason carving the halfurkey.  We all really enjoyed ourselves with a nice stress-free environment from start to finish.  It was a nice way to introduce the LCMI-ers to Franz and some of the other Grazers with whom they'll be interacting this next year (or so).  Clean up Thursday night was minimal- refrigerating all the perishables.  When the guests left, we Americans (and Josef), watched Elf with the projector.  Around 2:30 a.m. we made it to bed with an agreement to take our time in the morning.  By 11:30 Friday morning, we were finishing breakfast and got in gear to clean-up.  Again, we made a really great team, with no stress.  

It comes down to two large points.  1. Jesus had His hands in our cooking and in our entire celebration.  2. Koinonia.  I am blessed with truly the greatest friends in all the world.  Though we have different purposes, we have a shared vision of renewal and advancement of the Kingdom.  Sadly, not all of them(you) are here in Austria with me, thus, I treasure those who are nearby.  Kady and I joke that because we are from the same small town region of New York, we are practically family and, after Thanksgiving, we are definitely at LEAST cousins now.  It's just such a gift to be with people of the same natural culture aiming to live the Kingdom culture within an entirely foreign culture.  Thanks for coming up, guys!  

What happened to the other half of the turkey?  It's in the deep freezer with that remaining leg, waiting for Christmas dinner.  ;-D

Taken Seriously Enough pt. 1

In the last couple of weeks, I've had a revelation about the fear of the Lord.  I don't think we take Him seriously enough.  I've been reminded of our call to a righteous lifestyle and the power of repentance.  The latter of which, I will address in a later installment.  

"I just can't press through any more... " is a common concern and theme I've heard in the last weeks.  Well, WHY can't you press through?  What are you doing to counter the "issue"?  Yes, we DO have desert seasons, but even in the desert, we have sustenance.  We have promise.  We have hope.  We have a future.  We have a decision to be made.  

I do not pretend to be a master of a pure life.  I don't sit in a judgement seat, but from a mercy perspective, I encourage you that our response in righteous is easier than we complain.

Scripture tells us from start to finish, that we are a "good", "wonderful", "free" creation, destined for "priesthood."  We are reminded in Corinthians that we are "a new creation; the old is gone, the new has come."  Not to mention, Jesus Himself prayed that we would experience He and the Father in us just as He and the Father are within one another (see Writer's Block for further explanation).  

We have a decision to be made.  So much of our freedom and experiencing the Truth is a matter of setting our will and choosing such a lifestyle.  For example, scriptures tell me I am free- so I choose to be free.  In the moments when circumstance, feelings and emotions lead me to think otherwise, I choose all over again, to trust and believe- I am free.  Often times, speaking this out loud.  

When we see the lurking lies, we often get caught up in determining the "source" of the lie and trying to figure out "why we struggle with _____ over and over again."  I am a firm believer in the need to cut out sources from the roots... I am a firm believer in Inner Healing and what the Holy Spirit can do when we give Him such freedom to renew our hearts and set our spirits into a whole new level of freedom.  However, instead of looking for roots all the time, we need to look for the truth that contradicts that lie.  When I hear that I am "filthy" and "unworthy," then I need to seek scriptures that speak of my clean heart and how the Lord has handpicked me.  I need to eat and devour these verses until they take control in my heart like a natural reaction- "Duh, of course I am chosen!"  When I am overcome with exhaustion, I return to verses of the Lord's strength within me.  When temptation and lust are in front of us, purity and righteousness are just around the corner.   

Is it a quick fix?  Sometimes.  Mostly, no.

When we rearrange our focus and make the choice to set our WILL to the Truth, our souls will follow.  I am talking about a real choice, though.  This is no, "yeah yeah, ok, you say I'm free.. so I guess, I think I'm free" sort of decision.  This is a "In  faith, by the strength of Jesus Christ, I choose YOU Holy Spirit and where YOU are there is freedom.  Therefore, I choose to trust that I am free just as you have promised." type of decision.  Like I said to a good friend last week, then it is a matter of taking our vitamins.  We don't become spiritually healthy by tending to our souls first; it is the opposite.  Our spirit is head over our soul and body and therefore, filling our spirit with verses of Truth is what will bring this experience of freedom.  This could mean reading the appropriate verses applying to the given lie 20 times-an-hour, posting them all over your house, listening to them from an audio Bible while you sleep, or any other method the Spirit shows you.... just get the truth in there.  Don't worry about your soul taking time to get the hint; I assure you that your soul WILL catch up with the Spirit of Truth.

she makes me smile

*ding dong ding dong ding dong*  Ya know, they say living out here is a quiet residence.  I beg to differ.  We have the noon-time Catholic church bells ironically sounding from the "House of Silence".  Then, there's the mid-morning, mid-evening, and MIDNIGHT sirens screaming across the hills.  Now that it's prime harvest season, the tractors are running through the fields at any possible working hour.  This includes late night hours and early morning hours.  This weekend, folk music was singing from the neighborhood at the bottom of the hill.  The funniest of all the noises, however, is the cow.  Every so often, there is just one cow who bellows just one mighty bellow, also a day or night sounding.  She makes me smile.  

Just letting you know I'm alive.  :-)  Happy Tuesday!

WAKE UP!

Counting the stitches on my beloved quilt, conviction settled into my mind.  I don't speak enough.  The previous post "Passion" is the prequel and introduction to this post- and hopefully a number of posts to follow.  

Today's soap box: America.  

Somewhere in the middle of my list, I wrote I am passionate about politics, reform, local missions, and culture/nations.  I am going to take each of those passions and mold them into one [stretched] stream of thought.

I am not going to speak about conservatism and the great republican way.  I am not going to encourage anyone in one partisan direction or another.  I am not going to encourage anyone to eat organic and switch your bulbs to energy efficient.  I am not going to speak against the current President.  I AM, however, going to encourage you to start speaking.

I keep up with the status of America as best I can from over here.  These questions have run through my mind; as I am sure you've also asked yourself.

What IS going to happen to America in the next few years?  What's going to happen as this quarter ends and the first of 2010 begins?!  What's going to change- for the better? -for the worse?  How will those changes take seat?  How does it all effect ME?

Before I can say ANYthing else, PRAY for the leaders and our nation; the issues.  COVER America with the blood of Jesus, and I assure you, we will see change (for the better).

National level politics is a big leagues field.  It seems like the coach's pitch all-star MVP trying to play with Mickey Mantel and Cal Ripkin.  Reality is, becoming involved in the happenings of the nation is not so difficult.  Glen Beck put it clearly in a summer broadcast- we are being OVERLOADED with information, and it is absolutely impossible to keep up with everything the Obama Administration is saying. 

What CAN we do?  

1. Re-familiarize yourself with the constitution.  

2. Pick an issue and follow it.  Research that issue and know that issue inside out.  

3. Pick a person (persons) and follow them.  Research that person and learn as much as you possibly can about that particular political head.  Whether it be a senator, delegate, or one of these new appointees- PICK SOME ONE!  

4. USE THAT INFORMATION.  Compare the happenings within the realm of that issue/figure to the constitution.  When something does not fit together, then begin to speak-up about it.  Instead of complaining at the dinner table, write emails to your local representative and to the media.  

That's the national level.  

What I believe is far too often overlooked is the local level of politics.  We get so into the news and rhetoric of the national politicians, that we forget that our neighborhoods are being impacted right in front of us.  GET INVOLVED IN YOUR LOCAL POLITICAL SCENE!!  Know who your Delegates are and begin to communicate with them.  Attend board and council meetings.  Again, you cannot do everything, so pick an area and invest yourself.  Seeking local reform is eventually going to impact the nation on a broader spectrum.  

So, WAKE UP America!!  I can see from here that much of America has already awoken... now become proactive in your stance.  

Passion

I am passionate.  

I am a passionate person when it comes to nearly everything I do.  When I choose to invest in something, I go all the way in without reserve.  What's reserve for, anyway?  Back-up?  I don't do "back-up" plans.  I do full throttle, all my faith, all my gumption plans.  And, if there happens to be a fail, I take all my energy into resolving the situation, or into developing a new method.  Is it a waste of resources?  Perhaps.  For me, I'd rather run over failure with all my momentum, than get stuck in the rut.  That's just me.  

So, what AM I passionate about?

I am passionate about change.  I am passionate about seeing people realize their potential.  I am passionate about prophetic destiny.  I am passionate about perfection  I am passionate about divine order.  I am passionate about coaching, encouraging, and teaching.  I am passionate about prayer and intercession.  I am passionate about creating and developing.  I am passionate about music.  I am passionate about worship as a lifestyle, but also as creative expression.  I am passionate about truth.  I am passionate about justice and mercy sharing their respective responsibilities.  I am passionate about theater and opera.  I am passionate about dance.  I am passionate about turning a stage into a fantasy world.  I am passionate about colors.  I am passionate about light.  I am passionate about life.  I am passionate about politics.  I am passionate about reform.  I am passionate about local missions.  I am passionate about culture and nations.  I am passionate about learning.  I am passionate about health services.  I am passionate about blood/organ donation.  I am passionate about friendship.  I am passionate about reading.  I am passionate about writing.  I am passionate about running and sports.  I am passionate about competition.  I am passionate about leadership, problem solving, and communication.  I am passionate.  

What are YOU passionate about?  Comment.  Email.  Facebook.  Let me know what you're passionate about.

Shabby Apple

I am absolutely stealing this post from E.  :-)  But, it's a worthy cause with a great source!

So, without asking her permission, I am officially copying her entire post and pasting it here.  She wrote so well on the topic already, I think it's better to just give her the credit and the platform.  :-)  AND, if you're interested in a great blog (one that is REGULARLY updated), then head on over to Home With the Boys.  If you are interested in the giveaway from Shabby Apple, then reply as instructed below on E's blog.  

**I AM NOT AT ALL INVOLVED IN THIS GIVEAWAY!**

Again, if you are interested, you must follow the instructions below, and reply at Home With the Boys!

So here's E's post:

Shabby Apple captured my heart as soon as I read their story and mission...

After years of not being able to find stylish dresses that covered enough skin to make you really feel comfortable (without wearing a tank top, cardigan or long slip), owners Emily and CK decided to do something about it.

They visited trade shows, marketplaces and designer studios only to discover the problem was not that department stores weren't buying the right dresses, but that designers weren't designing them.

Shabby Apple is proud to offer you fantastic dresses that allow you to look fabulous, without having to compromise anything else.

A return to what dresses were always meant to be — a one-piece outfit. No need to add anything...no tank tops, no cardigans, nothing (except accessories, of course!).

Modest, fashionable clothing for girls and women WITHOUT HAVING TO LAYER!

For those of you who don’t know, I am a youth sponsor at our church and four years ago, we started a fashion show centered around modesty. It’s called “Unfading Beauty.” My good friend C is the creative mastermind behind it and I LOVE being involved with it.

Since that first show, I have become passionate about girls and women looking cute in clothing that doesn’t “give everything away.”

And Shabby Apple does just that. Cute dresses for little girls, teens and women. Even maternity clothes and fabulous accessories. And it’s all modest.

By the way, modest does NOT have to equal frumpy. Especially in the case of Shabby Apple.

You really must check them out.

And as if you needed more incentive to head on over to their website, here’s one more!

They are giving away a dress RIGHT HERE!

This dress – it’s called 90 WPM – isn’t it gorgeous?!



So how do you win?

All you have to do is click over to their site, browse through their beautiful dresses, and let me know which dress you love (other than 90 WPM) in the comment section! One comment per person, please!

This giveaway will close Monday, September 14th at 8:00 p.m. CDT when one winner will be chosen at random.

Have fun and a HUGE thank you to Shabby Apple!

Five Reasons to Fall in Love: 2nd Edition....

...with Nebraska.  

Nope, not a joke.  

In case you missed last year's edition, you can read here about Maryland.

Nebraska is very much an overlooked state.  It is underrated. 

1.  Nebraska is a golden, farming state.  You may 

not consider this such spledor, but I tell you, "a

mber waves of grain" takes on a whole new meaning on a typical mid-July afternoon driving across the interstate.

*1. This is actually a shot of Chimney Rock in the background.

2.  Sunsets/Sky.  Some say they prefer the sunset across the ocean or spread between the mountains, but if you've never seen a mid-west prairie or desert sunset, you don't get a vote.  Yes, at first introduction, the wide open skies can be overwhelming for those of us who are familiar with the broken horizon.  After my first NE sunset, I was in love.  As you can see, rainbows become nearly tangible in Nebraska.

2*

3*

3. With the prairie land comes prairie weather- tornado season and amazing thunderstorms.  for storm lovers like me,

 this is an ideal all-you-can-eat buffet.

*4

4.  So, before everyone begins to believe that Nebraska really is just country mile after country mile of farm-land, I'll move on to patriotism.  "There's no place like Nebraska, good ol' Nebraska U!"  

Nebraska doesn't have a professional sports team, but the athletics of UNL are a great pride and joy.  

Nebraska football is a tradition.  Game days in Lincoln are phenomenal and offer an atmosphere like none other (Penn State offers competition in game day atmospheres).  NU isn't just football, though- Volleyball, women's soccer, basketball, bowling, wrestling, etc. are consistently ranked teams, offering Olympic and professional athletes season by season.   Credit for this photo goes to Maddie from one of my last Huskers' games as a student.

5.  This is by far the most subjective explanation I offer.  Rock Solid Youth Ministries.  LOVE YOU GUYS!  This is an incredible group from Christ's Place located in South Lincoln.  Christ's Place and Rock Solid are considered a home and family to me.  All of my RS pics are on my external HD, which is currently not with me, so check out the website and see how cool they/we really are.  

An Attitude of Gratitude

Thank YOU, my precious ones, for not getting too annoyed with me this past.... year.  You, my faithful readers, friends, supporters, and family, have aided the wind beneath my wings.  It has been all too long since I've provided a decent update for you, so let me see if I can do justice to the neglect.

As the summer began, I posted a calendar of what was to come.  And, those events have all come and gone... among many other things.  The summer has FLOWN by and will soon be tucked under a blanket of fall colors and autumnal winds until next June.  

The events of this summer have brought great amounts of growth and stretching.  My faith has been tested from one day to the next.  How so?  In simple, daily living.  Last year, the faith was tested in great obvious ways- visa, housing, school, relationships.  This summer, my [faith] has been further established in the small details of who Cree is.  Peace has become something that I will to experience and exhibit, rather than anticipate appearing.  Love has become my hiding place.  

It's been a summer of gifts.  Since my birthday in May, it's just been one sweet, honoring gift after another.  Some examples include a new passion, restored vision, encouragement when least expected, financial blessings, new songs, ministry partners, and a new sense of easiness.  I got a good coffee date with Daddy Steve in the middle of June.  Hallelujah for that coffee date.  He and I talked through so many things going on around us and how to move forward.  It was refreshing to talk to an American dad face-to-face and get some sound fatherly input.  While I have great elders here, there are so many little cultural things that really make a big difference when seeking advice.  It was then that I was most at odds about whether or not to stay another year... and HOW to stay another year.  Steve is obviously partial to young people moving to Austria, but he provided such an objective perspective about all the details (staying or leaving).  Exactly three days later, I finally made my heart and mind decision to STAY, as a student.

It has been a summer of fun.  Once work and school ended for the year, I was able to breathe a little and jump fully into the ministry.  A team from America (PA) came over at the end of June/beginning of July to help with our summer camp and many to stay for 3 months.  I have to admit, when they first arrived, it was too much for me.  At that first camp meeting with everyone, I thought I would explode.  SO MUCH AMERICAN CULTURE AND AMERICAN ENGLISH IN ONE ROOM!  I feel I can say this without offending any of them (you)- I didn't want anything to do with them (you), at first.  I was FINALLY confident in being here and then they (you) come and screw it all up!  When I arrived at the Brauhaus, I was polite and reluctantly introduced myself, but it wasn't until the end of the night that I really decided I was genuinely happy to have them (you) there.  Sorry, to all of you!  Then, the fun really began.  These guys fall into the category of gifts and fun from this summer.  I realized how much I missed little things about the American culture and language.  Even more, though, this is a great group of solid people.  Friendships grew from within this group that I wasn't expecting- thanks for seeing past my stubbornness! 

Some fun events from the last month: lots of ice cream, Kirsch's visit, hiking in Eisenerz, swimming, a weekend in Wolfsberg, Smor-ba-que with house group and the J-team (practically the A-team, but cooler).  Now that the PA team has begun to leave, I'm sad to see them go.  My heart is thrilled to know many will come back for long term, but the others- I look forward to seeing you again eventually... even if it means a trip to Harrisburg the next time I'm State-bound!! 

It's been a summer of productivity.  I won't write too many details here, because it is boring.  But, many tasks have been completed for Blast, other ministries, and for me personally.  I am applying NOW for my visa extension.  It seems the little details are coming together and I will be able to submit my application the week of the 14th!!  I'll keep you posted.  This year here will be different from the last year and soon, I will be writing a more specific letter about what that entails.  A sneak peak- I won't be working regularly this year, as I did last year.  This will allow increased freedom in my schedule to do more of what I am actually here to do in ministry, but requires a greater faith and support in finances.  We'll talk about that at another time, though.

I've missed all of you and I've missed blogging.  In the next few weeks, routine will re-enter my life.  I am hoping, that at that time, to be able to blog more regularly and to even have dates with you again!

Wolfsberg gang- thank you for your commitment this summer and for seeing beyond my early moments of resentment!  Like I said when I was down there, it is SUCH an encouragement to have had you here, sharing and working toward a vision with you.  Even if you've felt your time here was limited or what you've come to do is "practically nothing", I assure you that you've had purpose and change has been set in motion because of your willing heart.  Thank you.  To you, especially who are not returning for a year commitment, I pray you're able to take something from Austria back to the States with you.  Your being here hasn't been only to serve, but also to be served.  May you experience that as truth.

Thank you everyone, again, for all of your support and encouragement this summer (this year)!  And, thank you for all your patience and understanding!  I value and love each of you!!

Mahlzeit!

Today, I give you a smorgasbord of rhetoric.  Mahlzeit!

Nearly a month ago, I made promise of a [potential] reprise to my last blog post.  Sorry, Suzanna, that has yet to come... but let me see what I can conjure for you.

-----------------------------------

The musings of my heart swell and overflow into the realm of Earthly reality.  Before I know it, I will soar.  I will fly.  It won't be just my imagination, but they will have to create a string to keep this kite from being swept beyond the horizon.  One day, they'll see that I was made for more.  They'll see that, all along, I spoke not only of the things to come, but of the things that are.  They will see the things of tomorrow were made manifest yesterday. No longer will I be a mere alien.  Sailing the deep blue sky, that's what they'll see me do.  Skipping across the clouds, from one nation to the next, I'll hurry my way into destiny.

-----------------------------------

In a world of black and white, suddenly space has no relevance.  Time is a distant concept.  In a  world where red can be yellow and blue be green, peace satisfies the bleeding soul.  The ladder to this hidden treasure is itself not so far from grasp.  

A crying Father stretches to you.  He meets you further than His half-way.  All for the sake of reconciliation, he affirms that his love never fails.  His promises blanket you as a fog crawls across a mountainside.  Forsake not, his invitation.  He already knows you and he already chooses you as his favorite.  All that is required is that you bow down in adoration and affection.  Receive the crown and the key to the King's private chambers.

-----------------------------------

Espamer tribute for the season:  Sorry, Jo!

http://www.myspace.com/espamerjohanna

She kept me company while I worked all morning... may she bless you as she's blessed me.  

writer's block

What is writer's block, after all?  

Is it a mere fear that every hopeful author carries in a corner of his mind?  

Is it  a lack of thought and creativity?  

Perhaps it is yet another manifestation of the fear of man disguised as an oppressive state of the self.  

Or, . . . Is it the fate of a new direction trying to pass?

We all know that this hurdle is not just something in one's imagination.  Anyone who has attempted to write, paint, or enable any of the creative arts knows that this is a very real obstacle we all reach at one point or another.

Is it a mere fear that every hopeful author carries in a corner of his mind?

YHVH O'saynu, the LORD our maker (Ps 95,6) lives WITHIN us.

Elohim, creator (Gen 1,1; 17, 7) promised that His kingdom, everlasting, is in ME!  

What is my point with all the Hebrew references?  God is creative and not only is HIS creativity within me, but HE is within me.  Therefore, is it really practical to think that writer's block is one's inability to contrive and forge?  I don't think so.  

Is it a lack of thought and creativity?

"...I know, was spurred by the fear of men..." Jason Gray comments on his own writer's block seated prior to the making of his latest album release.  You can find his full article at The Rabbit Room.  I appreciate Mr. Gray's vulnerability on the topic.  We are all, of course, created to worship and the creative arts are all a facet of the expression of obedient worship we each carry in our hearts.  However, we don't always acknowledge the Trinity to be our only audience members.  More often than not, we consider the greater population (our churches, The Church, the World) our audience.  "What will they think?  Is it easy to read and understand?  Can they sing along?  Can they see what I see?  What if it is too dark?  What if the chords aren't so pleasing?  The melody and lyrics don't quite match.  The clay cracked.  The paint dripped."  We carry on about how "perfect" our creation must be to the eyes of man.  We lose track of the purpose of the creative arts.  We get wrapped into the realms of this dreaded paradigm called " the fear of man".

Perhaps it is yet another manifestation of the fear of man disguised as an oppressive state of the self.  

A personal testimony:

In older blogs, I've written about my past as a writer.  I am a writer.  I always have been and I always will be.  I write short stories, poetry, lyrics, music, nonfiction, parables, and all the likes.  Until the last few years.  Some time during my years at UNL, I stopped writing.  Writing became such an effort that I associated with the classroom.  It wasn't a joy any longer.  It was what I had to do for all of my classes.  So, I stopped writing for pleasure, with intent for creative worship.  

You know what I am NOT good at?  Art.  Drawing and painting are two of my absolute weaknesses.  And you know what I've been longing to do the last couple of months?  Paint.  I don't know anything about painting.  Brush, paint, paper, canvas.. okay, I know four things about painting.  During our summer camp, I was attending a writing workshop and when it came time for our free-write... I had no words, but pictures and colors.  So, what did I do?  Paint.  *rolls eyes*  

My implication is not that every occurrence of no ink means we should try another manifestation of our creative gifts.  My suggestion is that perhaps there IS a change of direction.  Maybe not so drastic as becoming a painter instead of writer, but maybe if you mostly write one genre or style, it is time to write in a new way.  The Holy Spirit is bringing forth a season of something NEW.  It is a new life in which we live.  It could very well be that you don't have writer's block, it's just that the Holy Spirit is trying to take you into a new direction.  

Is it the fate of a new direction trying to pass?  

Determining the source of writer's block doesn't speak of overcoming it.  

Resting.  Relaxing.  Acknowledging the presence of Yeshua.  Surrender.  Stillness.  Waiting.  Asking.  Worship in the contemporary form with music.  Reading the Word.  

These are my best solutions for defeating writer's block.

few phrases

I am officially living in the largest living quarters I've had in 6 years!  WHOO HOO!  I moved up to Blast Hill yesterday and I've spent today unpacking.  I am waiting for a few pieces of furniture and then I can really settle, but it's starting to look like "my room" and it feels good to be here.  

The Youth Camp:Passion is this week (you can view the page in English by clicking the link under the main logo).  We run from Wednesday-Sunday.  It's going to be a BRILLIANT time!  I'm really excited for the camp.  

Immediately as the camp ends, Mandy arrives here in Graz.  I'll only have her for a couple of days, but when she leaves, I also will leave.  I'll go to Croatia for some time.  It is still open ended. 

I know; short, simple sentences... sorry.  Now, back to my nesting.  

Urlaub? Not likely.

Quick/Important Announcement:  I've decided to apply to extend my Student Visa.  Please, be in prayer agreement that the paperwork runs smoothly and that the finances come through (support "letters" will be sent out soon).

"Oh great, summer's coming!  That means you'll have more free time, right?!  You gonna go somewhere for vacation?!"

Riggghhhttt... more free time.  Nope.  Not happening.  Not for this kid.  Summer is just as busy, if not busier, for me.  Sure, I'm not working or at the Uni, but there is PLENTY to do for Blast and Exousia that I am definitely BUSY.  With what, you may ask?  I need some prayer support for the following summer endeavors.

July:

1. German final

2. Hauskreis (House Group) (HK)

3. Vinex Meeting (Vinex is the combined youth groups from Exousia and Vineyard-Graz)

4. Rehearsal for camp worship.  Church.

6-10. Moving to Blast Hill.

9. HK

15.19. Youth Camp- Passion!

19-22. Mandy visits

22.-??. trip to Croatia for some full on ministry.  I'll be doing a lot of prayer/intercession ministry, as well as practically serving some specific families.  This will be an intense time that will have great impact on the region.  I've not set a solid plan as I'm not yet sure just how long Abba wants me there.  It is important that I am sensitive and wise about this time.

End of July. HK mini-retreat at Blast Hill

August:

1-16. SOW preparations and closings

6. HK

7. Vinex Meeting (tbd)

8. self declared DAY OFF

9. Vital SOW prep day in Brauhaus

10-15. SOW 

Mid/End of Aug. Return to Croatia for more ministry and maybe even a few days of REST!

During the weeks where it seems like "nothing" happens, there is PLENTY of planning work that I have to be doing.  The great thing about summer, though, is that I know I'll get a lot of good ice cream.  So, summer season, HERE I COME!

Congrats, Mr. and Mrs. Williams!

There are a lot of things I've had to sacrifice since moving here.  Culture... language... job... relationships... comfort... familiarity... and so on.  One of the most difficult things to continually sacrifice, is being a consistent part of the lives of my friends and family.  The Rock Solid Pebbles are all growing up (quickly and gorgeously, I might add)... the KIDS from RS are growing up and graduating [Congrats, Kels and Steph (and all the others)!]... and the recent, most difficult sacrifice- weddings.  

Justin and Debbie married on Saturday 20.6.  Since I couldn't be AT the wedding, here's my blog tribute to this awesome couple.

This is a relationship I've seen go through the races and come out strong.  Their continual battle to keep Christ centered in their relationship is inspiring.  They stand together in the natural and supernatural, supporting one another with the greatest strength the Lord can provide.  They go into battle zones together and they go into the tent of David to worship together.  They love their friends unconditionally, together.  At times, I have advised them both to be "less serious" about some things... but their "seriousness" was only a quest for purity and true light between them.  Worshipful obedience is at the core of this relationship.  When the Lord told them to separate for a time, they painfully did so.  When Deb went to Sudan and Justin to Texas, they  clung to the cross in their relationship and persevered.  When they were together at UNL, they re-learned how to relate face-to-face with one another.  They learned how to accept change and growth in one another.  They learned how to encourage continued change and growth.  When the time came to separate again, they both were willing to sacrifice their own dreams and visions for the sake of the Kingdom.  Upon reuniting (again), they grew together in a new territory- where they could learn to manage life together within a new church family, a new ministry environment, and with a different type of spiritual support from their loved ones.

I have had the honor to know both Debbie and Justin as a couple and as individuals.  

With Deb, a relationship that began as a student-leader discipleship quickly became a very close, best-friendship, sisterhood.  She is one of the most reliable persons I know (even if she is running/thinking on African time).  She is disciplined, discerning, and growing more accurate in both.  She is a joy.  

With Justin, he started as "Debbie's shy boyfriend" who became one of the greatest, strongest, most courageous of my mighty men.  He always took everything I could offer and ran to the throne room with it to get more from God directly.  He is dependable, loyal, firm, and wise.  He is... crazy.

Their gentleness, humility, and willingness before the Lord is encouraging.  We've spent many nights praying, worshiping, sitting, crying, laughing, and exercising together.  I trust them both with my life and my crayons.  Aside from all the serious details- they are both fun.  Their adventurous flair compliments one another like coffee and cake.  Some of my most enjoyable, most embarrassing, most HILARIOUS memories are shared with this couple.  Some of my deepest, most rewarding/encouraging, and even most painful memories are shared with this couple.

Mr. Justin LeRoy and Mrs. Deborah Sue Williams- I love you.  You're two of the greatest and it is an honor to share in this carnal life with you.  I look forward to more memories - supernatural highs, circumstantial lows, fun, and crazy (I was crazy once...) memories.  When we meet face-to-face again, we'll share a toast with Asti and a glass of beer!  

Procession of Process to be Processed

Oh how great is our God?

It is just shy of 9:30pm and the sky looks like this behind me:

I am sitting on the patio to the rear the house, enjoying a red Zinf and my evening meal, while sifting through some notes.  I'm on a quest for the "perfect" message for the youth meeting I am teaching on Saturday.  It's been a LONG time since I've taught like this- it feels good to do this sort of lesson planning.  

A lot has been on my mind recently, but the following things have weighed most heavily in the last few weeks.  

• During a spectacle of thunderstorm one May-Monday night, Cle and I shared some great memories and conversation with Sula.  The question had been posed earlier in the evening, "So, what are you passionate about?"  Some hours later, during our storm watching time, the answers to the question continued.  I am asking you, this time, what are YOU passionate about?  What do you plan to do about those passions?  How will you realize dream-turned passions into reality?
  

• Another small nugget- praise.  For about 45% of my college career, the Lord spoke to me about being a "Praise Warrior" and some how, during the last 10 months, I've nearly forgotten the entire lesson series.  Just recently has the Lord so graciously been reminding me of the truth behind battles won through an attitude and lifestyle of praise.  Psalm 103 has been my heart's song.  Praise the Lord, oh my soul, praise the Lord.  May all that is in me remember what He has done and who He is... May all creatures of Heaven and Earth give Him the praise He is due.  May every centimeter and fiber within me be a Holy praise offering to the most high King.
  

**disclaimer: the following point is much different from the previous two.

• I really miss my precious friend and sister, Astiana.  It's been 7 years, today actually, since she finished the race on this side of the Heavenlies.  Missing her ebbs and ways.  Some times, it comes like a high tide and washes me over more than one would expect after so many years.  Other seasons, it's only a thought here and there.  A memory provoked by a smell, a song, a sound, a Verse, or a photo.  Recently, though, I've been missing her more than usual.  I've had a number of dreams about her... I awake feeling as if we've actually been together.  It is more than confusing to process.  Typically, I'll take some minutes to let myself deal with the emotions and then I will pray for her family.  It's been a long time since I have seen them, also- sheer distance is the perpetrator of this felony.  This was just something that I needed to say.  

Cle Time!

Having Cle here has been amazing and painful all at the same time.  I think his visit is killing me slowly via exhaustion.  ugh... but so worth the lack of sleep!

Let's see... so far we've had some GREAT adventures.  Here's a day-by-day run down of why I think I might not live past June 2nd....

Cle arrived on the 14th ...

15th: I introduced Cle to Graz, Temmel Ice Cream, and his hosts for his stay.  Later, we introduced him to the Schlossberg and Kebap!  yummy!

16th: we introduced him to Exousia!  Whooohoooo!!!

17th: we went to Wien (Vienna) for the day and had DELICIOUS Ice Cream!

18th: Sula and I introduced Cle to SAX Ice Cream, the Mur Insel, and Tribeka.  We spent a lot of time just chilling in the girls apartment waiting for such nasty weather to pass.  It was, by far, one of the best days I've ever had in Graz.

19th: Julia introduced Cle to palatschinken....mmmmmm....

20th: we visited Uschi at the Kindergarten!  We went to Verdi's Nabucco at the Graz Opera House!

21st: we had a big lunch with many good friends then had house group!

22nd: we spent the day in upper Styria!  We visited Eisenerz and the Leopoldsteiner See.  We introduced Cle to Tötdling Ice Cream.  We went to Denise and Nevena's jazz recital thing.

23rd: we hiked with Didi and Karina, had a classic Austrian lunch, then went to church.  

24th: we went to Salzburg and Doris joined us!  Of course, we had ice cream there, too.

25th: we slept in.  :-)

26th: we relaxed in the evening, then had our worship thingo.

27th (today): Cle's running errands with Julia and I'll entertain him for a short time this evening.

28th (tomorrow): Julia will take Cle to Zotter while I spend the day working my butt off.

29th: Cle comes to my house for lunch, I'll introduce him to Blast Hill, and he'll probably meet Yahoo for a walk.  Sula and I've planned a "crazy, fun jumping, no stress worship meeting" for Friday night.

30th: Pfingsten (Pentecost) service for church.

31-1st: Budapest

2nd: the Ami's host the Austrians for lunch.

3rd: Cle leaves us.  :-(

I'm not sure if it is all the traveling, walking, staying up late, or ice cream eating that is going to kill me first.  Surely, it's not the ice cream!

means for a break

Every Monday and Tuesday, I leave my house just before 6am and travel into the city, where I waste 30 mins waiting for the next bus that takes me back OUT of the city, in the opposite direction of where I live.  During those 30 mins, I usually eat my breakfast, drink some coffee, and read my Bible.  This Tuesday, I was in my own zone with my iPod running my thoughts when, all the sudden, THWACK, something hit the back of the bus-stop-hut.  I turned in time to see it was an eager pigeon trying to be first in line for a dropped piece of bread.  Well, he didn't win.  

I did so well with writing here for the last week and now I am writing to defend why posts will likely be scarce over the next weeks.  Clearthur arrives tomorrow evening!  I am sure that I will have PLENTY to blog about, but I am not so sure how much time I will have to do so.  Cle and I will be hosting a Mexican dinner/lunch party at some point (in honor of my birthday).  Mostly, he will be witnessing our normal, day-to-day lives here, but we've also planned some great excursions.  I'm sure that between all of us, SOMEONE will remember to take pictures.  You can look forward to those.  So, what's on the docket for May?

-Wien

-Opera (Nabucco, Verdi)

-Parschlug/Kapfenberg

-MAYBE Salzburg

-Budapest, Hungary

Das Einfache Leben

Just a couple of pics from some great times here in Graz!  The whole album is on Facebook.

Samoel invited a group to Blast Hill for lunch a couple of Sunday's ago.  We had a GREAT meal and shared a lot of laughs.  The work on Blast and with BLAST Ministries is truly very multi-national. . . 

Sula(Ostrich) and Frannie(English) dancing.

Sandra(Serbisch), Sula(Ostrich), and me(Amish).

Everything at Blast Hill is a bit... different.  :-0  We speak something of a mix of languages and somehow still call it "English."  We also have circulating nicknames and jokes floating through the whole team of us.  When we are all together and feeling patriotic, we address one another by our "nationality'- Serbisch, English, Ostrich, and Amish.  When Sula and I are working hard in the office or for one of the schools, they call us both Sveznalica (wise-guy/boss).  Other times, we teach each other rather useless words and phrases in our respective languages and the funniest of those words becomes a nickname.    For example, most often they call me Vel(i)ka (big).  

And we're off...

I bid your company on my proverbial exploit. Where are we going? On a hunt for my English. Some where, in my overfilled, underused brain, I have an education in English. There is an abundance of vocabulary with a distinguished grasp of syntax hibernating in the, what I like to call great, annals of my mind. Before they decide to migrate, I deem important the utilization and production of such skill. *Note: Proper use of complex grammar will return with further exercise.

In a former day, I often wrote. I wrote well. Where has my writing motivation gone? Laziness cannot be blamed, nor can a lack of intellectual meditation. Simply not having adequate capability to most precisely depict that which has been floating in my heart has reserved my yearning to pontificate. Perhaps, my over-excogitating nature paired with an obvious fear of failure has been cause enough to diffuse my prose. Angst, be no more! We launch forward today! We, being my inner-author and me.

I need to write more in every sanction of life. I need to journal more. I need to write the deep revelations the Spirit shows me. I need to write the lessons He puts on my heart. I need to write of the comical, cartoonish stories from my daily life. I need to write in my blog more frequently. I need to write music again. I need to write about a million emails. I need to write more.

delicious feast

Oh how I love the Balkans... mmm.

We had a great weekend feasting in Sarajevo. Thank you, all my intercessors, for covering me and the conference. I'm not really ready to post a whole lot of reflection, but I can say that it was an awesome weekend. There was an abundance of excellency and also a great deal of hard work. If/When I'm ready, I'll give you more details about what I witnessed and experienced.
Some focal points from the conference and from my personal experience there:
- Arising
- Trading in old garments for new.
- Speaking/Living the Word.
- Being Deborah's and Jaal's.
- BREAKTHROUGH
- Unity.
- Joy.
- Vision RESTORED.
- "Seko" relationships.
- Laughter.

Prayer Plea

HEY LOOK! ANOTHER BLOG!

I'd like to say that "we" are on a roll again... but it appears I am alone trying to roll. Shame on you... shame on you.

Actually, this is my "Pre-Sarajevo Prayer Plea" blog post!

I leave for Sarajevo Wednesday evening. I'll first go to Zagreb and then drive to Sarajevo Thursday morning. I'll get back late Sunday night.

My health is attempting to fail me. All day yesterday, I felt dehydrated and really had to fight to get my body feeling well enough to function. I managed through the day but still felt like yuck by bed time. I woke up this morning no longer feeling dehydrated, but I feel like.... hmm... crap. I went to work this morning and actually got sick while I was there. I stayed- not to infect the whole school or to prove some sort of female-macho-hood... I stayed because the bus system left me rather abandoned. It was alright, though. I got through the hours and actually had a great time at work despite the crappy feeling. I am now in between responsibilities and my body is still trying to convince me it's sick. I know I'm fine... and I know this is only an attempt to take away from this week in Sarajevo- so please, stand with me. I'm continuing through my day with everything I had planned, but I am still taking it easy. I'll get to bed early tonight and tackle tomorrow morning as best as I can.

I trust you'll stand with me in protection and wisdom. I just need to be smart while I'm down there... thanks everyone!

Covenant Friendship- Only an Introduction

Since we've all been slackers, and yes, I really do mean all of us in the blogging community... regardless of the excuse, new job, too much homework, a new baby, etc... we've been TERRIBLE... right, my main point, since we've all been slackers recently, I've decided to make a step in a more motivated direction! At least, for today I am... I'll probably go back to being a slacker in due time. :-)

It's funny how the Lord develops relationships. I had a number of friends (according to the American definition) before I moved over here. There were quite a few people I knew in the church and from other connections around Graz. During the first months, though, these relationships seemed non-existent, with the exception of very few. It was a trying time. It was a lonely time. I don't know what I've said on this topic before, so I could very be repeating myself, but I'm going to talk about it again anyway.
I am one week shy of having lived here for nine months, and now am I really feeling confident and comfortable in these relationships. I will talk about the cultural explanations for such struggles, but I don't blame only nationality for this time. I confess to having had my own deal of *crap* to get through with the Lord and this simply would not have been possible in a land plentiful of many friends. I also confess to having closed eyes for a season and thus, I confess to unintentionally hurting some of my Austrians along the way.
Austrian people are, as stereotyped, hard, cold, distant, and rude. Though not quite so as the German picture, they are disciplined and regimented. They are not at all anything like the Von Trapp family (aside from the occasional Lederhosen and Dirndl). So, no British accents, no driving on the left side of the road, no singing with every step through the market, no whistles, no Edelweis in English, etc. Right, back to my point.... Austrians, like the majority of Continental Europe, drive on the right side of the road. No, that still wasn't my point, but before anyone embarrassed themselves, I just wanted to bring some clarity. What WAS my point? Austrians as people.... This seemingly harsh surface is really only a surface. They aren't so hard and cold, they simply aren't small talkers (aside from the little old ladies living in Julia and Sula's apartment building). Getting to know any Austrian involves hurdles and hoops. It means proving yourself. It means inviting the Austrian over and over again until he or she finally says "yes" and allows you into their heart. It's tough work. It's exhausting and even discouraging if you're not used to such a repetition of what appears to be rejection. I was always told to "stick in there" and that Austrians are "friends for life." I can say, now, that I see what was meant by that. While the early steps of relationship with Austrians appears impossible, once an Austrians chooses to trust you, care about you, and love you as a friend, they will not let you go. They are covenant friends, only it takes them a while to choose to make the covenant.
Somehow, for me, this situation was different even still. There's another culture to be added to the equation- Kingdom Culture. Because the majority of the people I associate with are Christians, this concept of relationship is even a bit different. In this case, many of my developing relationships involved the struggle between Earth-bound culture and Heavenly Culture. It meant often, from both parties, letting go of familiar ways to approach a person and allowing the Lord's love make the statement for the friendship. This means a quick love and trust (at least to a certain level). This blessing of Kingdom culture allowed for open doors for prayer support and simple coffee dates. This allowed for meeting in the middle between American Small Talk and Austrian Walls. It meant willfully opening gates that would normally be closed and locked. It meant realizing a new level of trust in the Lord. And now, these relationships that have been growing in the last nine months are some of the most precious, closest, dearest relationships I've known.
Covenant friendship... ask the Spirit to show you what that means. For me, it means fighting on behalf of my brothers and sisters. It means standing in agreement to see them reach their potential. It means having fun playing tag on the Schlossberg. It means enchiladas, beer and a game of Oh Hell. It means crying, laughing, cheering, falling, rising, growing, praying, talking, dancing, working... loving... all in a way that represents the Gospel of Truth in a way that the world craves such a friendship.
For a long time, I've approached my friendships in this way- or at least I've tried. Once I let you into my heart, you're there perpetually. I think what's changed for me, though, is how I allow you there and what exactly I'll do with you once you're there.

I charge you with this examination- are your relationships something you can find in the World or are they something that the World finds attractively different?

Fruit Dip Experiment Week 2

Week 2 of the Fruit Dip Experiment also went well. It is difficult to determine if my House Group ACTUALLY likes what I serve them or if they're simply happy to be eating. After all, we are a group of students (student age, at least).

Soo, what was in the mix for this week? I decided to make two different flavors this week- a vanilla almond and chocolate for hte perfect juxtaposition The chocolate tasted great- was something like a runny pudding. I'm not sure why it turned out to be more liquidy than the others, but it was pretty runny. Delicious, none the less. The vanilla-almond actually became vanilla hazelnut. It was a little sour, especially compared to the chocolate, but still tasty. I served both dips with apple slices and bananas this week.

GADC Dreams

This is DEFINITELY a blog for all my GADC family. If I thought it were feasible, I'd take it as a sign to go home for a month to work this summer.

I woke up this morning from what might be the absolutely most bizarre dream I've ever had. It was at camp... and for SOME reason, I had to provide entertainment for the assembly. The only props I saw fit for my ideas were a chicken and a duck puppet (very large puppets, like half my size large). So, into puppet world I went. They both had British accents and were supposedly on some camping trip. After a while, the haphazardous duck was sent home because he caused too many problems. Then, my dream turned into a cartoon instead of a puppet show. I'd go on with the story, but the middle gets little foggy in my memory banks. It has a sad middle, an exciting climax, and a warm-fuzzy reunion between this haphazardous duck, the chicken, and all their other friends.

What I remember best about the dream- Michelle and Amy D. CRACKING up as I went about my puppet show. Hillary, you were there too, mockingly sipping from your coke.
Oh how I miss you guys... :-) Love you all!
I pray for the best camp experience for you all again this year. Well okay, we know it'll only reach SECOND best camp status since I'm not there, but I pray you have the best camp experience that is possible to maintain without me being there. Looking at the updates- it's definitely another testimony of how successful our God is. Keep it up, guys! If you let me, I'll do your devos some morning from all the way over here! :-)

Praise Awaits You...

Freude Freude Freude .....

Joy Joy Joy .....

The God we serve is always at His very best. How assuring is that?

It's been a great season, Friends. The last weeks have been incredibly busy and stressful. I've been running around Austria, Croatia, and the Holy of Holies with such a new intensity and intentionality.

You know what shakes a city and changes a nation? The love of the Father.

Something I've mentioned before, I've always been known as the "strong one" and the "warrior." And you know, this is true. I am a warrior and I am a strong woman of faith. However, this warrior's prayers have been reformed. I've found that the best prayers I can offer sound something like, "Abba Father, help!" The "funny" thing is that this simple cry has been the most effective prayer I've offered in the last year.

This weekend has been absolutely fun. I arranged for a group from my House Group to go to Wolfsberg. You've read about Steve Espamer in previous posts. He's been here for the last two months with two other great men (Jason and Alex). They've spent the bulk of their time in Wolfsberg ministering to the young people there. This week, 5 of us went to join in the fun and to see what's happening with our own eyes. We participated in an evangelistic youth meeting consisting of a few worship songs, a short presentation of who our Father is, and then a great time of fellowship. After the service, we went to the bars. Just hanging out in the world and having a great, righteous time together is simply ... good. :-) Saturday morning, Jason was nice enough to let me help him make blueberry pancakes for everyone (something like 15 of us total for breakfast!). We got to see the new apartment downtown (testimony to follow) and then walked up to the castle. Of course, this time with Steve, Jason, and Alex is special for me, as I get the opportunity to embrace a familiar earthly culture. I think, though, somehow even more precious to me is the opportunity for deeper connection and development of relationships with my Austrian brothers and sisters. These trips give us the opportunity to learn more about each other and hang out without the church atmosphere. Yes, the best way to know a man's heart is to pray with him, but we aren't only spiritual beings. So, to my Austrians who will happen to read this, thank you for a wonderful weekend (and a wonderful 8.5 months so far)!
Returning to Graz led us STRAIGHT to lunch. :-) and eventually church. Church has been so fun recently. Worship has been SOARING and breaking into new dimensions (I pray the same is happening for you). A team from Prepare International (a ministry partner based in Texas) came to Graz this weekend to prep for a prayer trip throughout Continental Europe (Czech, Belgium, Croatia). First of all, these guys from Texas have amazing hearts and it is always a blessing to have them here with us. Second of all, I feel like all this exposure to other Americans is like little kisses from the Lord, just for me. It is a real blessing and honor to be a part of such a humble, effective, anointed community. There's NOTHING more encouraging than being EXACTLY where you are supposed to be WHEN you are supposed to be there. Thank you, Heavenly Father, for this plan you have for me.
After church, Sulamit, Bella and I simply weren't ready to separate, yet. Into the city we went! We hung out over drinks at one of the Irish Pubs (Flann O'Brien). Laughing... playing cards. Which, you know how difficult it is to find a card game to play when there are two cultures involved? Man... I tell you. I've come a long way climbing over cultural boundaries, but this card game search reminded me, yet again, how fun and creative God is. We ended up playing a riveting game of BS.
Today, I'm in the office on BLAST Hill. There's a prayer seminar downstairs with this team from Texas. I'm organizing some things here and enjoying the joyful atmosphere.
I am preparing my heart for the conference in Sarajevo. I am getting PUMPED... PSYCHED... STOKED... for this conference. My heart is enamored with the Balkans. I feel like the slightest bump would pop the love I have for this region and the women there. I would like to use this opportunity to make another plea for your prayer support in this time. I don't just mean DURING the conference, but these last 2 weeks leading up to the conference and the weeks to follow.
I can't believe how quickly time is flying. My birthday is just 3 weeks away, Cle comes in 4 weeks... wow wow wow!





The following is a copy of a testimony about the apartment in Wolfsberg I just wrote about.
Saturday morning we got a call from the owner of the Christian book store. He said we (Meinrad and me) had to rush there right away, that there was a woman that had a flat for rent, going on the market Monday, but she was just getting ready to leave for Vienna. She heard about what God was doing and wanted to talk to us first.

She has been praying for 5 years for God to do something for the youth of the city. Her flat is strategically located, right in the center of town, right where all the kids hang out, and she was heart broken over what she was seeing. She said she wanted to "give" the flat to somebody who was working with the youth but for 5 years never found anyone. She was holding out in hopes of being able to give the place to a youth outreach. She had no success in finding anything so was putting the place on the market on Monday. But she forgot her cell phone in Vienna so went to the Christian book store to use the phone, as she was friends with the owner for many years. She told him what she was about to do.

But he just "happened" to be at our meeting on Friday night, where Jason and I were leading worship, and where he saw one of the non church kids get instantly healed of pulled ligaments in her ankle. So he told her about us and she wanted to meet us before she left town in a few hours. We had a nice visit and told her what God was doing and what was on our hearts. 20 minutes later, right there on the spot, she "gave" us the flat, completely rent free, starting with a 3 year agreement! All we have to do is pay utilities and it is all ours. She gave us the key that day!

So now we have a home base to live or house interns, and to have kids over for meetings, right in the center of where all the youth hang out!

Fruit Dip #1

Happy Spring!

Ahhh, I love the beautiful weather we're having here. Last week was a little warmer than I prefer for early spring, but this week is off to a perfect start. All this beautiful weather has me in the mood for fruit. I've decided to experiment with some different fruit dips, salsas, and salads throughout the season. Mostly, I'll be sharing them with my House Group.

Tonight, I decided to make the basic dip so that I can adjust to the different ingredients offered here. I used cream cheese and a variation of sour cream. There are several different versions of sour cream that I can choose from. They all have basically the same affect, but slightly different textures and tastes. This makes it a little tricky. The one I chose, was a good choice though a bit too sour. I added about 3 tablespoons of sugar. My plan WAS to add some vanilla extract, but I found out much too late that we don't have any at home and thus, I used some "vanilla sugar." The extra sugar helped take off some of that sour edge and the vanilla was the perfect amount of flavoring. I'll take my basic concoction to House Group on Thursday and see how it fares.

I'd appreciate any creative fruit salads, salsas, and dips you can toss my way throughout this season.

Excuses...

While searching for CNN's online update of the Italian earthquake status, I came across an article discussing the latest "most outrageous excuses" for being late. I've posted the list of excuses below, you can find the complete article on CNN.com


Use your imagination

If you've decided honesty is not the best policy for you, don't try using any of the following excuses as the reason why you're late -- they've been heard before.

Here are 12 of the most outrageous excuses employees have heard for being late to work:

1. My heat was shut off so I had to stay home to keep my snake warm.

2. My husband thinks it's funny to hide my car keys before he goes to work.

3. I walked into a spider web on the way out the door and couldn't find the spider, so I had to go inside and shower again.

4. I got locked in my trunk by my son.

5. My left turn signal was out so I had to make all right turns to get to work.

6. A gurney fell out of an ambulance and delayed traffic.

7. I was attacked by a raccoon and had to stop by the hospital to make sure it wasn't rabid.

8. I feel like I'm in everyone's way if I show up on time.

9. My father didn't wake me up.

10. A groundhog bit my bike tire and made it flat.

11. My driveway washed away in the rain last night.

12. I had to go to bingo.

Just Sayin'

I absolute have to get this one off my chest.

After class, most days, I walk from our building into the downtown area to catch my tram home. It's usually a nice walk with a classmate or two. Today, I arrived at what's called Jakominioplatz (Jakomini Square) which is the main hub for all the city buses and trams. While waiting for my bus, I hear a little boy yelling. I find him, about 2.5 years old, holding his mother's hand while loudly screaming "no" and other such little kid tantrum phrases. He stops yelling and out of NO where turns and kicks his big brother. The big brother is then yelled at. The little guy then turns and KICKS his big sister! I kid you not, the mother's response was, "Did he just kick you?" The daughter confirmed and then NOTHING happened next. Okay, so maybe she doesn't believe in disciplining her child in public (whether she speaks, spanks, or uses time outs, waiting till she arrived home would be absolutely unproductive in disciplining this child. He was WAY too young to remember for so long that he did something inappropriate, much less WHAT he did.). Alright, so that tram comes... at this point, I've been standing about a yard away, just watching and praying, "Lord, what do YOU see with this family?" He shows me his heart and his love for them. The tram arrives and on I go... this woman sits the youngest boy in the seat in front of me and stands at his side. The boy is staring out the window most of the way, but still yelling quite a bit. The mother gave the boy candy to keep him quiet for the bulk of the ride. So he finishes his candy and then, what does he do? HE SUCKS ON THE TRAM WINDOW FRAME! Seriously? I gag... a few times... and begin to contemplate getting off the tram 5 stops early and waiting for the next one, just then he stopped said sucking. THEN what do you think happened? HE LICKED THE WINDOW! I don't just mean one swipe, licked. I'm talking, his tongue licking the window and leaving shapes with his spit, sort of LICKING THE WINDOW! And the mother? Said nothing. Did nothing. And me? Gagging again. Seriously.

I'm not judging the mother. I refuse to do that. I'm not going to call him a "bad kid" because I don't believe in such a thing and I especially don't believe in saying such a thing. ALL I'm saying is... I'm just sayin'.

wow, I'm busy

My new semester means a lot less time/energy for blogging.

On Mondays and Tuesdays, I'm leaving the house around 5:30am and I get home at 5:30pm the earliest. I try not to plan anything especially for Monday afternoons, but sometimes that simply isn't possible. Then Wednesdays I "only" have class now, which is great and makes for a lighter day. Thursdays I leave at 9:45am and get home at 9:45pm. It's not such a tough, long day though...since I end it with House Group. Friday's are from 9:00am until 2:30ish, and then of course whatever's goin on Friday night. Which, lately, has consisted of watching a movie that requires no real thinking. I don't say this in a query for pity, I say it as an excuse for the lack of updating. So, here's a run down (in brief) of what was and is to come...

Beginning of March- Advanced School topic- Leadership. AMAZING (as you read).
Mid-march- Julia had a concert and the following weekend, her mom took us to Appassionata. Also AMAZING. It's a horse show that is simply mind blowing if you have any sort of appreciation for horses and the arts. If I remember by the time I'm done writing, I'll upload a video or pic.
End of March- Steve Espamer is back in Austria and he brought a handful of people with him. He actually came at the beginning of the month, but the highlights I have are form the end. They joined our house group last week- it was simply fun. and AMAZING. Well, it was alright. :-) Steve talked about The Lion King-which i do NOT have the mental stamina tonight to help you understand what he really shared. Friday night I watched Open Season 2 with Julia. I have watched this movie SO many times since it arrived. I guess I'll get it out of my system a bit before I switch my computer back to playing the European DVD format. AND, Sunday was a Parschlug service. Parschlug, in case you forgot, is a small village in upper Styria where Julia's family lives. It's about an hours from Graz. They have a great (and large) house group up there and every so often, we have a Sunday service there. It's always somehow a special time. I love Parschlug and I love Parschlugers and I love Parschlug services (Hi Steve!).

And now for the things to come:
April 1: my German class is going to Wien for the day! hoooray for field trips! and double hooray for getting to have lunch with Hannes!
April 2: Teresa's birthday!
April 3-6: Worship rehearsal in Zagreb!
April 6-9: some time during that week I will go back down to Wolfsberg with Steve and his team!
April 10-11: I am staying in Parschlug (because I love Parschlugers!).
April 11: Tent of David worship service
April 12: Easter! Rather- Passah Feast! yum yum yum and lots of great spiritual food to go with it!
April 17: Trip to Wolfsberg again! Woohooo! This time, probably with some of the House Group!
April 29-May 4: Travel to Zagreb, conference in Sarajevo, then traveling back from Zagreb.
May 5: My birthday and DORIS COMES BACK FROM DEUTSCHLAND!
May 14: CLE ARRIVES!

Turn a glass of water into something beautiful. | tapdc.org

Turn a glass of water into something beautiful. | tapdc.org

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Spring Is Coming!

Updates updates updates.....

Let me think......

Spring is coming... I can feel it. I can see it. Ahhh.... how I am longing for warmer weather again. I don't dislike winter, but I REALLY like spring. :-)

A new semester has begun (three weeks ago). My new German class is hard. Seriously. Hard. I am blessed to have a handful of former classmates in the same class with me again. Being together provides us each with a touch more confidence. I really like all my new colleagues, too. We're already having a lot of fun together- everyone struggles and everyone laughs through the struggling. The class meets everyday and on Wednesday's we have a different teacher than the other days of the week. This guy is so funny. When he was learning our names, he had no guesses in pronouncing mine. Of course, I probably wouldn't have either for the first time when it is mixed within all the Slavic names. After clarifying my name, he smiled and stated in German, "That's really very American sounding!" What better reply could I have than, "Well, I'm really very American!" :-) He calls me "Cree-Amerikaner" or "Cree-Indianer". The other teacher is good, too. However, the teaching method is a struggle for me. I guess in a couple of weeks I'll adjust better.

We had another Advanced School a couple weekends ago and it was amazing. The topic was leadership. I've taken a number of leadership courses and even have helped design some leadership development programs, so I was looking forward to the topic. The presentation was beautiful. I know what you're thinking- "how can a school on leadership be beautiful?" First, you should know that BLAST Ministries is really a family. Franz and a brother, Randy, from Texas did most of the teaching and American Steve (now living in Slovenia) did a couple sessions. The opening session was the "Ghandi Session" as I like to call it. "You have to be the change you want to see in the world." was the true gist of the introduction. The remaining sessions, though, were incredible. Our teachers were vulnerable as they shared their hearts- their successes and their failures -with us. This school had me processing so much the entire duration. The spiritual aspects of leadership were so directly addressed as well as the character of a leader. I can't do justice in explaining the weekend to you. If you're interested in the teaching, I can send you an mp3 CD for $20. Actually, if you are at all interested in any of our topics, I can send you the CD's for $20. Recent topics include- Kingdom Relationships, Kingdom Finances, How to Find the Right Partner, Kingdom Marriage, and now Kingdom Leadership. There are also a variety of teachings on Spiritual Warfare, Spiritual Gifts, Discipling and Spiritual Fathering, The Church that Jesus Builds, Tent of David... and so on. Comment or email me if you have any questions or requests. Jason- I'm still working on getting a better list together for you but this should give you a groundwork.

Things to come-
April 1: Class trip to Vienna.
April 3-6: Worship rehearsals in Zagreb.
April 29-May 4: Women's conference in Sarajevo (PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE BE PRAYING FOR MY PROTECTION AS I GO INTO THIS CONFERENCE!).
May 5: My birthday.
May 13-June 3: Clearthur comes to visit.
July 22ish: Mandy comes to visit.

Movie Reviews

This week I went to see Yes Man with some friends.
Jim Carrey = great. As always, his performance is top notch. This isn't the typical "stupid humor" sort of JC movie... though it will keep you laughing. For those of us Nebraskans, it's especially a film for you. While the lead acting is grand, the writing is terrible. The movie itself was disappointing- the story line failed to succeed in my expectations. If you want a good, pointless laugh, then this movie is for you.

A movie I thought was all around well done-
Open Season 2. Thank you Jason and Denisha for sending me this movie. This is just downright entertaining. The story line is creative and the characterization is superb. The voice-actors were very well selected and had me convinced. A German speaking dachshund is the perfect flair (a special ounce of credit goes here for my current living situation) to accent a spastic deer and his colorable best friend grizzly coming against a prissy mini-poodle named Fifi. Kids or no kids, you will find this movie appropriate and simply, funny.

some entertainment

Tim Hawkins is a Christian comedian and... well.. he's great. Check out these testimonials and his website for more TH info. I've included two fun videos that I think you'll enjoy.

Since I know many of you are Chick-Fil-A fans, you'll enjoy this.

Happy Friday, everyone!

and on commercialization...

Rainy/Snowy Day Activity Poll

What's your favorite rainy day activity?  

I suppose, since many of you are having snowy days this week, I will practice my politically correctness and rephrase my question.....

What's your favorite inclement-weather-day activity?  This is assuming it is too terrible to be outside.

I love snuggling up with a salty snack and a hot mug of caramel-nut or mint coffee and watching a good movie.  

This poll reminds me of snow days at UNL.  When I lived in Abel, snow days were warmly embraced.  During my 3rd-5th years, I lived in what was known as the "freshmen party" dorm.  We had quite a few snow days in the winters of my 4th and 5th years.  We made the best out of these days.  I lived in this building with a number of friends.  Most of us "upper-levels" moved there on purpose for the ministry possibilities and we intentionally lived on the same floor.  I remember my 4th year was especially pressing academically.  My friend and floor mate, Jeff, and I enrolled together in some of the Universities most difficult biology classes.  With this being a major factor, Jeff and I spent nearly all of our free time studying together (we never would have made it without each other).  On these snow days, he and I really couldn't afford the luxury of having a lazy day.  So we would move our study materials into one of the lounges on the floor and we'd work while the others watched a movie. These days were the blessing we all hoped for.  These were the days with enough study time that Jeff and I could take a break from memorizing the skeletal system of the skull or the nervous system and work on assignments for our other classes.  Our group was really a little family, especially on these days.  We'd work together, take study breaks and play games, go eat together, and get back to work together.  

I am grateful for good friends with a good taste in coffee.  We never had bad coffee when we studied together in Abel Hall.  That's for sure.  Even when the faces changed in my 5th year, quality coffee and tea remained important priorities.  MMmmm......I miss good, fresh ground coffee.

So what do you do when you're stuck indoors?

polling

Hey there

I was having trouble getting this weeks poll to work.  You can expect in the next day or so... or next week.  :-)  We'll see.

I have one more day left of freedom before tests and teaching start again.  I'm going to enjoy every last minute that I have remaining to relax.  Okay, that's not true- any one who has ever taught knows that a vacation isn't complete without working on lesson plans.  I will also work on some things for BLAST (we have another school the 6-8th of March).  And.. I have a test on Wednesday morning.  Sooo, really, I am only going to pretend to spend my last minutes relaxing when in reality I am working on many things.  

Happy Monday!

Happy Fat Tuesday!

and in case I don't come back again before then- Happy Ash Wednesday!