An Attitude of Gratitude

Thank YOU, my precious ones, for not getting too annoyed with me this past.... year.  You, my faithful readers, friends, supporters, and family, have aided the wind beneath my wings.  It has been all too long since I've provided a decent update for you, so let me see if I can do justice to the neglect.

As the summer began, I posted a calendar of what was to come.  And, those events have all come and gone... among many other things.  The summer has FLOWN by and will soon be tucked under a blanket of fall colors and autumnal winds until next June.  

The events of this summer have brought great amounts of growth and stretching.  My faith has been tested from one day to the next.  How so?  In simple, daily living.  Last year, the faith was tested in great obvious ways- visa, housing, school, relationships.  This summer, my [faith] has been further established in the small details of who Cree is.  Peace has become something that I will to experience and exhibit, rather than anticipate appearing.  Love has become my hiding place.  

It's been a summer of gifts.  Since my birthday in May, it's just been one sweet, honoring gift after another.  Some examples include a new passion, restored vision, encouragement when least expected, financial blessings, new songs, ministry partners, and a new sense of easiness.  I got a good coffee date with Daddy Steve in the middle of June.  Hallelujah for that coffee date.  He and I talked through so many things going on around us and how to move forward.  It was refreshing to talk to an American dad face-to-face and get some sound fatherly input.  While I have great elders here, there are so many little cultural things that really make a big difference when seeking advice.  It was then that I was most at odds about whether or not to stay another year... and HOW to stay another year.  Steve is obviously partial to young people moving to Austria, but he provided such an objective perspective about all the details (staying or leaving).  Exactly three days later, I finally made my heart and mind decision to STAY, as a student.

It has been a summer of fun.  Once work and school ended for the year, I was able to breathe a little and jump fully into the ministry.  A team from America (PA) came over at the end of June/beginning of July to help with our summer camp and many to stay for 3 months.  I have to admit, when they first arrived, it was too much for me.  At that first camp meeting with everyone, I thought I would explode.  SO MUCH AMERICAN CULTURE AND AMERICAN ENGLISH IN ONE ROOM!  I feel I can say this without offending any of them (you)- I didn't want anything to do with them (you), at first.  I was FINALLY confident in being here and then they (you) come and screw it all up!  When I arrived at the Brauhaus, I was polite and reluctantly introduced myself, but it wasn't until the end of the night that I really decided I was genuinely happy to have them (you) there.  Sorry, to all of you!  Then, the fun really began.  These guys fall into the category of gifts and fun from this summer.  I realized how much I missed little things about the American culture and language.  Even more, though, this is a great group of solid people.  Friendships grew from within this group that I wasn't expecting- thanks for seeing past my stubbornness! 

Some fun events from the last month: lots of ice cream, Kirsch's visit, hiking in Eisenerz, swimming, a weekend in Wolfsberg, Smor-ba-que with house group and the J-team (practically the A-team, but cooler).  Now that the PA team has begun to leave, I'm sad to see them go.  My heart is thrilled to know many will come back for long term, but the others- I look forward to seeing you again eventually... even if it means a trip to Harrisburg the next time I'm State-bound!! 

It's been a summer of productivity.  I won't write too many details here, because it is boring.  But, many tasks have been completed for Blast, other ministries, and for me personally.  I am applying NOW for my visa extension.  It seems the little details are coming together and I will be able to submit my application the week of the 14th!!  I'll keep you posted.  This year here will be different from the last year and soon, I will be writing a more specific letter about what that entails.  A sneak peak- I won't be working regularly this year, as I did last year.  This will allow increased freedom in my schedule to do more of what I am actually here to do in ministry, but requires a greater faith and support in finances.  We'll talk about that at another time, though.

I've missed all of you and I've missed blogging.  In the next few weeks, routine will re-enter my life.  I am hoping, that at that time, to be able to blog more regularly and to even have dates with you again!

Wolfsberg gang- thank you for your commitment this summer and for seeing beyond my early moments of resentment!  Like I said when I was down there, it is SUCH an encouragement to have had you here, sharing and working toward a vision with you.  Even if you've felt your time here was limited or what you've come to do is "practically nothing", I assure you that you've had purpose and change has been set in motion because of your willing heart.  Thank you.  To you, especially who are not returning for a year commitment, I pray you're able to take something from Austria back to the States with you.  Your being here hasn't been only to serve, but also to be served.  May you experience that as truth.

Thank you everyone, again, for all of your support and encouragement this summer (this year)!  And, thank you for all your patience and understanding!  I value and love each of you!!

Covenant Friendship- Only an Introduction

Since we've all been slackers, and yes, I really do mean all of us in the blogging community... regardless of the excuse, new job, too much homework, a new baby, etc... we've been TERRIBLE... right, my main point, since we've all been slackers recently, I've decided to make a step in a more motivated direction! At least, for today I am... I'll probably go back to being a slacker in due time. :-)

It's funny how the Lord develops relationships. I had a number of friends (according to the American definition) before I moved over here. There were quite a few people I knew in the church and from other connections around Graz. During the first months, though, these relationships seemed non-existent, with the exception of very few. It was a trying time. It was a lonely time. I don't know what I've said on this topic before, so I could very be repeating myself, but I'm going to talk about it again anyway.
I am one week shy of having lived here for nine months, and now am I really feeling confident and comfortable in these relationships. I will talk about the cultural explanations for such struggles, but I don't blame only nationality for this time. I confess to having had my own deal of *crap* to get through with the Lord and this simply would not have been possible in a land plentiful of many friends. I also confess to having closed eyes for a season and thus, I confess to unintentionally hurting some of my Austrians along the way.
Austrian people are, as stereotyped, hard, cold, distant, and rude. Though not quite so as the German picture, they are disciplined and regimented. They are not at all anything like the Von Trapp family (aside from the occasional Lederhosen and Dirndl). So, no British accents, no driving on the left side of the road, no singing with every step through the market, no whistles, no Edelweis in English, etc. Right, back to my point.... Austrians, like the majority of Continental Europe, drive on the right side of the road. No, that still wasn't my point, but before anyone embarrassed themselves, I just wanted to bring some clarity. What WAS my point? Austrians as people.... This seemingly harsh surface is really only a surface. They aren't so hard and cold, they simply aren't small talkers (aside from the little old ladies living in Julia and Sula's apartment building). Getting to know any Austrian involves hurdles and hoops. It means proving yourself. It means inviting the Austrian over and over again until he or she finally says "yes" and allows you into their heart. It's tough work. It's exhausting and even discouraging if you're not used to such a repetition of what appears to be rejection. I was always told to "stick in there" and that Austrians are "friends for life." I can say, now, that I see what was meant by that. While the early steps of relationship with Austrians appears impossible, once an Austrians chooses to trust you, care about you, and love you as a friend, they will not let you go. They are covenant friends, only it takes them a while to choose to make the covenant.
Somehow, for me, this situation was different even still. There's another culture to be added to the equation- Kingdom Culture. Because the majority of the people I associate with are Christians, this concept of relationship is even a bit different. In this case, many of my developing relationships involved the struggle between Earth-bound culture and Heavenly Culture. It meant often, from both parties, letting go of familiar ways to approach a person and allowing the Lord's love make the statement for the friendship. This means a quick love and trust (at least to a certain level). This blessing of Kingdom culture allowed for open doors for prayer support and simple coffee dates. This allowed for meeting in the middle between American Small Talk and Austrian Walls. It meant willfully opening gates that would normally be closed and locked. It meant realizing a new level of trust in the Lord. And now, these relationships that have been growing in the last nine months are some of the most precious, closest, dearest relationships I've known.
Covenant friendship... ask the Spirit to show you what that means. For me, it means fighting on behalf of my brothers and sisters. It means standing in agreement to see them reach their potential. It means having fun playing tag on the Schlossberg. It means enchiladas, beer and a game of Oh Hell. It means crying, laughing, cheering, falling, rising, growing, praying, talking, dancing, working... loving... all in a way that represents the Gospel of Truth in a way that the world craves such a friendship.
For a long time, I've approached my friendships in this way- or at least I've tried. Once I let you into my heart, you're there perpetually. I think what's changed for me, though, is how I allow you there and what exactly I'll do with you once you're there.

I charge you with this examination- are your relationships something you can find in the World or are they something that the World finds attractively different?

Redeeming Grace and Nurturing Glory

Two ingredients the Lord has been stirring into my heart.  

I feel like a pancake batter being turned into crepes (yes, just for you Jason!).  It's like my batter has the lumps in it that any good pancake chef knows are necessary for the PERFECT pancake consistency.  The lumps needn't be stirred out and they must also not be too large.  They are precisely what is required for a pancake breakfast.  Crepes, on the other hand (or in the other griddle), require the batter is completely beaten until smooth.  The ingredients between the basic pancake and the basic crepe are the same, though the latter calls for more sugar.  This mixing process; rather, the beating process, is what makes the difference in texture.  

The Lord is beating some of these lumps out of me.  Some of the lumps are little and some bigger, but He is carefully stirring through, making sure He touches each lump.  Some of the lumps were things that were "okay" or "good" for the last years.  These were things that were even necessary for what the Lord had for me in the past.  As I said, they were good things.  Now, though, He needs something slightly different.  He still wants me, Cree, with the taste He intended.  He still wants Cree for the ideas He has purposed.  It's just time for a new look and a new feel.  It is time for New Life.  Just as Sulamit has been praying, there will also be a new sweetness in me as a crepe.  

So how does breakfast/dessert relate to "redeeming grace and nurturing glory"?  The redeeming grace seems to speak for itself.  The grace of the Lord is so great that He desires to transform me from one shape to the next.  He makes me new.  Isn't it amazing how the mercies and love of the Father are new each day?  How each day we are being transformed into something new?  Yeah yeah yeah...anyway... about the nurturing glory.  As the Lord takes us into new things and changes us, the question is often, "okay, God, so how do I do this?  How do I be this new thing?"  His response is simple- a willing heart and time in His presence.  His glory is such that none can stand.  Being face to face with the god of the universe; hand in hand with the savior to all mankind, is what nurtures and fosters this change.  Yes, I (we) need to make the deliberate decision to allow this change and to step into this change, but we do that best by being the midst of the Lord.  Yeah yeah, "read my Bible and pray."  NO!  Make your way into the throne room, sit on the King's lap and let Him bathe you with His glory.  Never been to the throne room?  Don't even know what that means?  Ask me for more detail in a more personal setting (ahem, email).  Or, simply ask the Holy Spirit what this means and tell Him that though you don't understand where or what this is, you are willing to learn.  I can assure you He will begin to take you there.  And when He does, buckle your seat belt, it is going to be an indescribably adventurous ride.  

The summation::

I am doing alright.  I am aching, hurting, learning and growing.  But, I am okay.  I am situated... excuse me, situating myself into a new seat of trust.  I've lost it all and I am losing more.  It's a great time!  

Karl-Franzens-Universität Graz

I am a student! Huzzah! I went to the Uni today to turn in yet another document. The woman who has graciously handled my situation for the last 4 months announced, "Gut. Alles klar.' Meaning, "Good. That's everything." I asked if there was a letter from the Uni that stated my admissions and she said I should have received it already. Apparently, it was sent to my address in Maryland about a month ago (dang it) but she copied the letter for me and gave me more information about the little things.

I took my German language placement exam Monday morning.  It went alright- I will find out the course details next Wednesday and it begins on Friday.  I'm looking forward to getting started on that.  It feels to good to see things really coming together.  *sigh*  We serve a mighty God.  Like I've said before- He blesses obedience; be in obedience.

One Day More

Oh dear friends, time is passing me faster than I anticipated.  It's been nearly two months since I've seen many of you, though it feels like it was just last week when we shared such a fun car ride to Omaha!  "G.P. are you with me?"   Maryland, as I've said, has been far more enjoyable than I ever anticipated.  Thank you, to the many of you, who have prayed and continued praying me through this time.  May you be blessed 100-fold for being a blessing.  The Lord is good and has been showing His faithfulness.  Healing in many relationships has become evident.  Thank you, Father. 

Austrian efforts have been mildly troublesome.  Okay, I take that back.  It's just been bad and hard.  Most of it has been settled and straightened out, prayerfully, and things are moving forward again.  I leave in a matter of weeks, now- 2.5 weeks to be accurate. 

Last night, I had dinner at Jarrod and Christine's house.  On the way down, I was thinking and praying about everything.  This was the first time in a while that I have been able to really reflect on life.  I leave in 2.5 weeks.  In the few weeks I have been here, so much has happened.  Our church has been through tough times, my family is changing greatly, and I've been blessed with some new relationships.  All of which, I resolve to a praise-filled stature.  God, you are not only good, but you are a GREAT God!  

I love working with Grace Adventures.  The days are long and more often than not exhausting, but I love being there.  I love the kids.  I love the environment.  I love my coworkers.  We are coming to the conclusion of our second week with campers.  This week, I've been a counselor for 5th and 6th grade girls.  I was not entirely enthused about my position this week, but I have thoroughly enjoyed this opportunity.  After a morning assembly, my group has "Counselor Planned Activity Time."  I asked my girls this morning what they wanted and they chose to have extra Bible time!  Thursday is Gospel Day, so I was eager to do Bible time, anyway.  I asked the girls what they wanted to talk about during our "extra Bible Time" and one of the girl's opened her Bible to a page with the question, "what is the Gospel?" scribed across the middle of it, in large print.  I smiled.  This was my opportunity to share my testimony with these girls.  Upon conclusion, they all were able to quickly relate my testimony to that of Stephen (our Bible character of the week).  They all know Christ as savior and are learning what it means for Him to become Lord.  Hearing my story opened their precious little hearts to a whole new world of what communion with the Spirit means.  I pray they continue to grow as they approach middle and high school.  They really are great girls.  

However, I am ready for the weekend.  This weekend will include time with some family Friday evening in Silver Spring, Opera Camp performances Saturday evening, playing for worship on Sunday, and the annual Pig Roast on Sunday afternoon until it is time for Fusion!