Wanna be Just Like You.....

The God we serve astonishes me with His graceful power. A revelation of who I am poured over me throughout the last week. I felt lost and desperate, not knowing where to turn for someone to simply understand. Wisdom and words of comfort were of no use. I needed someone to sit with me (Job 2:11-13) and recognize my suffering. I sought the Lord hour after hour for such assuagement. Speaking Psalm 116:7 to my soul, He brought peace to my weary heart. As I allowed Him to humble me, He taught me more intimately about His heart. When time came for me to emerge from the supernatural and spend time with people, I felt my soul quickly running back into a place of hiding. Again, desperation fell on me. So, I sought the Lord and cried to Him a plea for deliverance. I begged Him for a merciful revelation of how to level my emotions. His response was that which I had been avoiding, "Be vulnerable with me..." I told Him very pointedly, "No, not here. Not with these people I don't even know if I can trust." "You trust me?" He left me silent. Within moments, tears fell from my eyes. I did not just cry, but I wept. In time, the Lord settled me down again. At this point, I knew only to do what Cle would tell me to do- drink some tea and read my Bible till I feel safe again. I did that. While it worked for the brief moments I allowed, my sweet Jesus brought me to a safe place to be vulnerable . . . again. This time, as a child.

While on a walk tonight, the Lord spoke to me about this time being my Esther year. This excites me! He brought me to this song by Jason Upton. I've heard it many times, but tonight it spoke through me on a different level.
Just Like You
I tried to walk on the water and found myself under the sea
So with water up my nose I felt your hand come close to save me
I’ve tried to cast out the demons I’ve gone to the darkest of regions
When fear has me shaking you suddenly break in to save me

I desire
To be like you
Like any son or daughter
I want to be like my Father
I desire to be like you
You promised to never forsake me
So I’ll risk it all if you’ll make me like You

You stand beside me just waiting while I try to go it alone
Smiling You say son come here won’t you let me just help you
But frustrated I try to make it cause I’ve just got something to prove
Not knowing it is my weakness that perfects your power

JOY IS IN THE HOUSE!

A lot of Joy!
1. House Group was AWESOME last night! We have three members who are going to America (funny, isn't it?) this month. Two leave this weekend and the third (Ina) leaves in two weeks. We had a long time of worship together last night. Mmm so good. The Lord was pushing me through some things and I was getting pretty frustrated with Him. After some time, Sula and Suky prayed for me and for a releasing of the joy in my heart. It was good. I was in a GREAT mood yesterday/last night but because I was getting so frustrated waiting for the Lord, I lost track of from where my strength comes- JOY! After worship, Sula did a short lesson. We talked Sunday night about how we want to start House Group (after a summer hiatus) before these guys go to America so that when/if they return, they are still connected. This way, we don't have a "new" HG when they come back. Then we celebrated! Mmm good food.

2. Regine and I went to the Uni today to check on the progress of my paperwork. The last I knew, the woman handling my files was trying to find evidence that a note from UNL was sufficient to the UniGraz expectations. She never told us if she found what she needed; and after being gone for a week, I was unsure about where things are standing. Expecting a long line of incoming students, Regine and I were pleasantly surprised to find only one girl in line in front of us for the particular woman with whom we needed to speak. Praise the Lord! We gave this woman (the same woman has handled my papers all along) my name and she pulled my file. She stated that my application had been sent and that I needed to go to some other office to take my German Language Placement Exam. We will go next week to register for this exam- it is required for admissions that I take it. Sometime in these next weeks, we will FINALLY hear if I am accepted as a student at UniGraz. Pray this is a FAST process. Considering the admissions office now has my application, it means that all the documents I have given the Uni are correct. Really, we are just awaiting their review of my app and then a yea or nay. I'm not worried about being accepted (something about already having a University degree gives me confidence that I will be accepted here) but more want this to be handled quickly so that, as we all know, I can finally submit my visa application.

3. Michi is da! Well, not now, he was here. Karina picked him up a little while ago. I am having lunch with Karina and Herta (the woman I will live with from October until I leave). Karina brought a special someone to Graz with her today... she brought JOY! I love this dog. See the pictures of her from this morning. As I said, JOY IS IN THE HOUSE!

I bless each of you with an attitude of fervent prayer and a trusting in the Spirit that becomes whom/what you are.

I love you! I miss you.

V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N

Ahhh, Croatia. We had a great vacation. I cannot clearly explain to you how we really did NOTHING for an entire week. It was amazing! We sat in the sun, read, prayed, worshipped, swam, went for walks, watched movies (and episodes of Alias), enjoyed the Center of Baska, cooked, went for ice cream and drinks (because we wouldn't be who we are, otherwise!).... and so on. Like I said, it was great.
I had good time to press into the Spirit and seek some directions for my time here. This was a key. Now that I am back, my work-load has picked up the pace. I spent the day yesterday in the BLAST office working with Ina and Sula. Mostly, Ina gave an overview of some things that need to be taken care of regularly. I can't believe she leaves for PA in just a couple of weeks now. I am a little nervous about taking over all of her responsibilities. *deep breath* I CAN be a Type-A. I CAN be a Type-A. It will be alright. Franz has decided that I will take Ina's position and Sula will be my assistant as I need her. We already have three ministry schools approaching in the next two weeks. This is what has us busiest right now- registration and manual translation. It feels good to have so much work, though. I finally have a sense of ownership. I'm not just floating around waiting for things to start any more- I am here and I am working.
Speaking of work, I am supposed to meet my co-teacher this week. I have some lesson plans that I need to finish writing for her. Any one have any great ideas for conversation-focused lesson plans for 12-14 year olds?
I hope you are all doing well. Some of you have been heavy on my heart recently (especially those of you with leaky roofs). For you especially, know that I have not been able to rest in intercession for you since July. You stand on good ground.
My kids who started college this month- I'm proud of you guys! I hope you are enjoying these changes!

Stupid Americans

**WARNING** CONTENT MAY CONTAIN EMOTIONALLY CHARGED MATERIAL

Well, hello there!
We just left Jason and Denisha at the airport. Last year, when I was preparing to leave my famous quote was, "Stupid Balkan nations and stupid people from the Ballkans!" Today, when we got in the car, Julia asked me if I was okay and I told her, "No. . . . Stupid Americans." It was a good laugh, that's for sure.

It's hard. As she said, while standing in the airport watching our friends go through security, my last American connection left. This is the hard part. I love the Kirschen- but we said our goodbyes back in May. Them leaving this afternoon means that I am finally here. I am staying here. This is "for good". It is official- I have moved to Graz. That's what is hard at this point. I know, it was my choice and I am happy with my choice of obedience. And, knowing I am being obedient is my only comfort at this point.
I guess that isn't my only comfort......

.....Thanks, Justin and DC for planning a wedding for next summer, by the way. That brings me a lot of comfort, too... :-) ... assuming I am invited.

Some MUCH needed time with my Jesus is a must at this point. I wanted to write a few lines, though, to let ya know where I am and what's coming. Julia and I leave for Krk, Croatia in the middle of the night tonight. We will be there for the week for vacay! We are really looking forward to this week....mmmm.... water, sun, beach, quiet, rest, reading, writing, worship, prayer closet, walks, breathing, coming into freedom to new levels.... ahh, our God is good. Anyway, I will touch base when I can again.