an inCREEdible journey

Confessions of Slow Dancing in a Burning Room

2011-09-09T19:42:00.003-04:00

Alright, so helping out with my grandparents lead me to some late nights which meant lots of bad TV to keep me awake. I feel like I got caught up on all kinds of American pop culture that I missed from 2008-2010 by watching E! after 9:00 (Keeping Up With The Kardashains, Dance Moms). Confession- I've never watched anything on E! before last week. Close to midnight a special interview with Selena Gomez came on and I watched it. Yup. The WHOLE hour of it. She's a remarkable kid with a great grasp of reality (according to the E! interview, anyway). I started to do that "Input" thing and researched her (no pink horses here!), eventually landing on the page of her friend, Alyson Stoner.
I didn't have to scroll very far to see something that I really liked about this girl.
"As I recorded my version of this song, I prayed for God to help me understand and convey a level of hurt similar to John’s. What was revealed to me was powerful. I hadn’t experienced the demise of a romantic relationship, but I’d fallen in love with other things in this world that would fail to satisfy eternally; namely, my career.
For 11 years, I’d romanced my career by developing my craft, building my resume, and working consistently (without moral compromise, of course). But as I made my career my ULTIMATE thing, I sacrificed other important areas of my life, including relationships with family/friends/God, my health, and my education. Making any good thing an ULTIMATE thing will ALWAYS lead to destruction… it’s misguided worship. Worship intended to be directed toward the Source/Giver of the good thing. And, I can’t take any of my success to the grave anyway. Not my career. Not fame. Not money. Nothing. It’s like slow dancing in a burning room."
Check out the cover and her full blog statement here.

Go on and check them out... I won't judge you for following through on your input impulses. And, my confession of a guilty pleasure, I do like Selena Gomez' music... it makes me wanna dance! :-)

Boundaries and Limitations

2011-09-06T12:55:00.000-04:00

Boundaries and barriers of this world are two facades we fall victim to far more frequently than should occur. This is a theme that crosses so many areas of life. It comes down to a question I ask myself, "is this Truth or Reality?" Truth is what scripture has to say; the divine words and promises of God about who I am and more importantly, whom He is. Reality is what I am seeing, feeling, experiencing with my natural senses. Sometimes, reality and truth are aligned. Most often, reality is blurred by the enemy's distortion and perversion as well as by my own flesh and inadequacies.

It is the simple concept of knowing scripture is truth. But, it is taking it the step further of applying that truth to my life. What's the point of everything the Lord is working out in us if we never apply it? I am daily being transformed, transitioning from glory to glory. At least, that's what scripture says of me. Am I allowing that to happen? Am I allowing the Spirit to challenge me? Am I choosing to take steps that make me uncomfortable for the sake of seeing His truth more solidified in my spirit-man?

What does the fruit of the change look like? Sometimes it is as simple as an attitude adjustment or perhaps a reconciled relationship. But, I know the workings of the Spirit in my life are far more intricate and intimate than superficial reactions. Am I allowing Him to work at the root of the sin issues in my heart? Am I working with Him to repent and choose His ways? Am I really fixed on things above?

All of these questions bring me back to functioning out of the faith of Jesus Christ.

Some practical examples: trusting the Lord with finances. praying for the sick to be healed. praying for people to be delivered. trusting that freedom is my nature, not captivity (freedom of thoughts, insecurity, performance etc).

This is the framework of what I am processing.

Good Reads!

2011-02-07T12:52:00.002-05:00

I LOVE having friends who are avid bloggers! Being one who is often on the go and far from "home", some very dear friendships IRL have been maintained through the blog spectrum, and I so appreciate the discipline these women have to keeping the world up on their lives.

To name two, check out Home With the Boys and Flexible Dreams for free giveaways, their two cents in a variety of topics, some spiritual encouragement, crafty how-tos, and often times rather amusing and adorable family stories.

not exactly a "welcome" mat

2010-12-19T21:53:00.004-05:00

Some where along the lines, I lost the passion for blogging.

I realize, only now, that I stopped writing for myself and that is why it grew to be a burden.

It's time, though. I have this twinkling thing inside of me that says it is time to start speaking out the words again. I'm not often a "self" focused person, but I owe it to myself to collect my thoughts and, often times, prayers here. There is a lot of freedom when I know I'm writing to appease myself and not because of YOU, the reader. If you like what I write, great. If not, move on. I don't care to impress nor to entertain. That's not my intent.

This is a time for me. For me to be free to think, to fail, to succeed, to process, to pray, to be confused, and at the same time, to have all the answers- right and wrong. This is my place. This is my stomping ground. Tread, if you will.

How the hell did I get here?!

2010-12-06T15:04:00.003-05:00

Where I am isn't good. What I do isn't good. The people with whom I do these things aren't good. I'm not in a place that is good.

Where I am is so far superior to good that the words to describe it fail me. I am a part of someone else's Kingdom dream, while also pursuing visions the Spirit has built in my heart. I am surrounded by people who are constantly encouraging and embracing me, but who are not willing to let me become anything less than my God-given potential says I should. I am happy. I am really happy.

Did I expect it to look like this? Not really. I never thought that I would come back to where it all began in order for me to lunge forward into the yearnings and longings of my heart. I never thought that this was a step in reverse, but I certainly didn't think it was a step forward. I guess I thought it was more of an incubator, some sort of purgatory in which I would wait rather hopelessly. I'm glad I was wrong. As the dreams unfold, I sometimes need a moment to recognize that they are exactly that, but once the perspective settles properly, my heart soars.

Over the last few months, I've been "just excited." On more than one occassion I have had the "what are you so EXCITED about?!" conversation. My answer was and still is consistent. "I am just excited about anything and everything." I may not have consistently had the best attitude over this latest duration, but I have to say- I am where I am supposed to be. And, it is exciting.

How did I get here?

A complex answer could flood my explanation, but I will keep it simple:

God is good.

Happy to be Here

2010-07-10T10:12:00.003-04:00

Do you remember this post, all about how AMAZING the state of Maryland is? I have been here for 6.5 weeks and have already enjoyed nearly everything on this short list. Ok, so the four seasons part is a bit of a stretch and anyone around the area right now knows how difficult it is to enjoy this weather we've been having. I've also not yet accomplished the first item, but the time will come.

Being here has been nothing short of marvelous, wonderful and blessed. I started working for Grace Adventures Day Camp in the middle of June. There are a number of new elements at Camp this year, but I have to tell you, I am loving every minute I spend working (and every silly song that is stuck in my head). Here's a quick promo-vid from our website.

Create your own video slideshow at animoto.com.

Back in April of 2009, I wrote this post about Camp. I just came across it again this morning and had a nice laugh.

I am leading worship this summer at my church. This is a challenge in its own way, but I'm heeding advice from Tom Petty, and I won't back down. So far, I've mostly just been vision casting, which is something I tend to do well. The responsibility, authority, practical side of things are also going just fine.

It has been a hell of a week, but the God I serve is beyond such struggles. You all know how much I LOVE the 4th of July, but this year wasn't exactly a celebration for our family. I enjoyed some quality time with a couple of good friends, who only proved their friendship further by leaving our firework venue just moments before the show began so that I could drive over an hour to meet my mother and brother at our local hospital. Out of privacy, I am not going to share any details here, but at this point, everyone is home and doing just fine. I am blessed to work with a group of such great people and amazing friends who've been indescribably supportive all week. Thank you. And, a thank you to every one else who has been so lovingly concerned and supportive this week.

Overall, it's been a season unexpected, filled with surprises and gifts. It's a time of adjustment and acclimation. It's a time of joy and relief. It's a time shared, enjoyed, and endured. It's a time of celebrating and laughing; a time of focusing and persevering. It's a time honored.

2010-06-16T23:40:00.005-04:00

February 11, 2010 seems it was AGES ago. I can hardly believe it has been over 4 months since we were told Savana wasn't going to survive the night, only for her to miraculously still be alive. She is still in a rehab facility in Lincoln, not yet fully awake from a coma.
Savana is a friend and former student whom I mentored through her high school years; lead on a Missions Trip to Scotland. She turned 20 last month and her wedding would be this coming Saturday. Faith stands, but hearts still ache. If you think of it, please pray for Savana, her fiance Thomas, her family and friends.

If you're curious about how she is, don't be afraid to ask me.

You can read a recent article about the accident and her relationship here

If you are interested in more ways to support Savana's family you can go here.

a patriot afterall

2010-06-11T12:06:00.004-04:00

I know, Independence Day is just around the corner, but I couldn't wait that long to share this.

Yesterday, I was explaining the point of the 4th to a European friend. A few statements in, tears streamed my cheeks. I loved living in the land of red and white, but I still have such a pride in being a citizen of the red, white, and blue. There may be a number of topics and issues that I am not happy about in my country right now, but to be an American; growing up with the concept of freedom bred into me, is something for which I am grateful.

And it is at this point that I would like to say thank you to everyone who has made that possible... and maintains the opportunity. Family, friends... brothers, uncles, husbands, moms, dads, sisters, wives, cousins, daughters, sons... thank you and Heaven's blessings upon you.

blog-fail

2010-06-07T22:08:00.006-04:00

iiiiiiiiiggghhhhhuuuuuuuuhhhhhh.... pttthhhbbb

I have SO MUCH To. Write. About!!

phew! feels good to have that off my chest!

(excessive usage of punctuation for the sake of dialect is a direct result of reading this just prior to writing)*

fizzy meds

2010-04-23T07:54:00.004-04:00

You know, there are a lot of things about Austrian and European life that I'm gonna miss. Today, I'm already missing dissolvable vitamins and aspirin with vitamin C. I mean, I'm not really a medicine taker, but I could, very easily take an aspirin with vitamin C every day by dropping the little tablet into a glass of chilled water. or, when I have a stuffy nose, the best medicine is another tablet half the size that works better and faster (and tastes better!) than any other cold medicines I've ever ingested. the vitamins/minerals are flavored differently.. Multi-Vitamin tastes like citrus juice, Magnesium tastes like pineapple, Vitamin B tastes like something purple.... it's genius, I tell ya!

I'm gonna miss the little tablets... Yep, I sure am.

The Deal Remixed!

2010-03-29T05:48:00.004-04:00

In the summer of 2008, I worked with Grace Adventures Day Camp in Fulton, MD. That was my last job in America and will be my first job upon re-entry!

A couple weeks ago, I booked my flight to return to the Old Line State. An hour after finishing the booking process, I received an email from one of these former co-workers, asking me if I wanted a job at the camp. Without a second thought, I replied, "YES!" We are excited. I cannot yet describe exactly what it is that I will be doing, but it is fixed that I will be working with GADC again this summer. It is such a joy and an honor to work with this team and I am so looking forward to what the Lord will do in the hearts of the kids this summer, as well as developing within the community.

As I wrote before, my intentions are to stay in MD for the summer. I am researching a few grad school options, and will likely take trips throughout to look into select programs first hand. Other plans: a trip to Harrisburg and Ephrata, PA is already in the works for my first weekend State-side. A good friend was zealously willing (thanks Tschay!) to take some of my belongings back to the States with him today, and I will go to get these things and to spend time with my friends who are there at the time. These are some of the friends so highly spoken of back in this September 2009 post.. I am working on a trip to NC that will be multi-faceted, as I'll catch up with the Silvas and also check out an appealing masters program in Charlotte which will (HOPEFULLY) include time with Jo... we'll see how it all comes together.

My heart's desire is to invest everything I can into my church family there. They sent me off with such love and blessing, and I want to return to them as much as I can with everything I've received and learned here. This is beginning to sort out a little more specifically already, but I can't explain yet how these opportunities will appear.

I hope everyone is a little more satisfied with the details now. Thanks for being patient!

The Deal

2010-03-22T17:25:00.003-04:00

This is the busiest month of the first quarter, so finding time to properly update is not so easy.

Here's the basic outline:

May 26th, I will return to the States. I'll be in Maryland for sure until the end of August. I have to make some mini-trips in the MD area, but other than that, i will be there with my family. I'll be working throughout the summer and readjusting. In August, I will decide about what is next and where to settle - it could be MD, NE, anywhere new, or even returning to Austria, I am completely open.

Job details will have to come later...

The "why" is simple to answer- because it's what the Lord showed me to do. My life here is GREAT and it hurts my heart to be preparing to leave my family and the home that has been created here. I have nothing but love, respect, and honor to reciprocate to Franz, Blast, Exousia, and my dear friends.

Again, more details to come later.

Sorry, I really don't have the time nor the capacity to be more specific. Maybe pray for a revelation and you can get all the details that way?

I Have A Voice

2010-03-07T17:43:00.004-05:00

I find advocating the dire needs of human slaves beyond urgent.

As a Western Culture, we are too far unaware of what is happening in the sex slave industry on a national and international level. In recent conversation, I was told, "..there are no REAL slaves any more." It was then argued that if slavery DOES exist today, then it only exists in the developing countries. However, it is the wealthier nations that provide the capital for such a crime; a crime that is predicted over take international drug trade within the decade.

*Some facts:

Human trafficking is the world's THIRD largest crime industry!

The rate of Human Trafficking is INCREASING!

It is argued that as many as 60,000 people are trafficked into the US every year!

Estimates in 2005 say that human trafficking had annual profits of $31.6 billion!

80% of human trafficking victims are women and children.

Human trafficking is an issue that is difficult to track and prosecute, lending even greater room for growth. It is a very real problem in today's global society. A number of non-profit advocacy programs around the world are doing their best to raise awareness of this social injustice and to provide a means for decreasing and eventually ending this criminal activity.

If you are interested in taking action, check the following websites. Though only sources in CA and DC are provided, I ASSURE you that there are agencies in every state and major international city.

In CA:

http://www.castla.org/

http://www.bpsos.org/

In DC:

http://www.breakthechaincampaigndc.org/

http://www.ayudainc.org/pages/page.cfm?id=1

http://www.polarisproject.org/

If you are interested more specifically in the domestic issues of prostitution, please contact my friend Laurie Ishii, founder of After Hours Ministry.

*All facts were gathered from the following websites:

http://www.thefuturegroup.org/id20.html

http://www.worldvision.ca/ContentArchives/content-stories/Pages/human-trafficking-statistics-global-and-canadian.aspx

http://www.humantraffickinged.com/

WOOP!

2010-03-02T02:40:00.003-05:00

*This post is dedicated to Crystal and Luis Muñoz*

The Lord is so indescribably good. I'm sure I've started former blog posts with that same sentence, but it is still so mind-blowingly TRUE!

When the Holy Spirit asked me, "Who owns your visions?" my answer was so easily exclaimed, "You do!"

His next question, "Then why do you hold such tight fists around those dreams?"

My second answer contradicted the former, "Because I don't want them taken away from me?"

"I thought they were mine, in the first place? Mine to grow, develop, and change?"

"They are, Daddy. Or, at least, I want them to be."

"Now we're on to something."

Since that honest conversation, Jeshua and I have been prying my fingers apart. Some visions were easier to let go of than others, but all are equally dear to my heart. As the Lord has been developing this sense of "being" rather than "doing" in me, the intentions of visions and dreams has been altered.

My identity is not in what I do or what I am capable of. Ok. Great. That lesson I get. My identity will not be in what I accomplish. I thought I got that lesson, too; after all, it's the same as the previous lesson, right? Nope. Not for me.

In retrospect, I realize I've been arguing with God all along about the progression of these visions. I'd beg Him to release them and bring life into those visions and then I'd turn around and hide them under a rock so no harm could be done. The last months have been dedicated to really letting go of my visions. The Lord has visions for me and what I call "my visions" are certainly good things, and things I DO believe are of Him, from Him, and for Him. Those things are not just passing thoughts and ideas I've had. Letting go of these visions is not giving up on them. It's letting them grow and develop the way the Lord wants them to. It's being willing to let them appear as something perhaps entirely different from what I have imagined. That doesn't mean the vision is less there or that it has died. It means peeling off my limited perspective of binding expectations.

I was talking with a faithful friend about this topic early this morning. Clenching my fists together, I demonstrated how I offered my visions to the Lord as a sacrifice just some months ago.

"You can have my dreams, but you're gonna have to cut my hands off in order to get to them!"

I may be wincing from time to time, but now my hands are open more than not.

Now that I've so boldly written that, I'm sure I'll begin to understand how far I've yet to go...

lessons to learn

2010-02-19T08:05:00.002-05:00

The last month has been one of the most difficult months I can recall. In overview, I've experienced multiple deaths, the near loss of a friend and former student, "unpassing" (the word used by the department head) a major exam, and a number of other little pieces that have simply fallen apart. I've learned quite a few lessons throughout this time, but here are the first 10 that I can think of.

1. Having a most difficult season does not require having a most terrible attitude.

2. The wilderness doesn't last forever.

3. Having patience is not the same as being patient.

4. My concept of timing is far different from the Lord's.

5. Obedience is always always ALWAYS the best response.

6. Repentance is one of the coolest, most radical aspects of a life with Jesus.

7. Refined faith is not perfected faith.

8. A lack of finances is not a lack of wealth and blessing.

9. The presence of the loving, everlasting God is more than enough.

10. Worship as a decision often needs to be re-decided... that super cool repentance comes into play again here.

Ahh, life is just so fun.....

Thanksgiving Pictures!

2010-01-29T05:23:00.011-05:00

AHCK! I owe you all a TON of pictures!

Here are some from our fabulous Thanksgiving. You can read about the celebration here.

Enjoy!

The American cooking team, minus Dylan.

The Austrian talking to his imaginary friend was mostly just there for entertainment.

;-) schmäh..wir haben di lieb!*

We streamed the parade from a street webcam- no announcers, but plenty of parade!*

If you'll recall, our whole turkey was a whopping 35 lbs; I managed to prepare the Halfurkey (which was still GINORMOUS)....*

....in this little guy!*

(find the dramatic explanation here!)

Proud (or was that anxious?) cooks!

Dylan should have been in this picture- he was my strong halfurkey rotator all morning.*

At this point, we were more impressed that we managed to move the Halfurkey without breaking any utensils.

It was all about presentation.....**

(veggie platter credit to Jason B.)

(egg platter credit to Kady K. and me!)

With the help of a super decorator, this was our beautiful spread...*

Jason is now a master Halfurkey carver!**

And Kady is a master pie baker!

Left to right: we had apple, peanut butter, and pumpkin.**

This pumpkin roll managed to travel over from America the week before...

it's amazing how well vacuum sealed freezer bags work!*

Photos by *Dylan Krause and **Jason Burmeister.

Alien Revival

2010-01-28T08:11:00.004-05:00

Well, welcome to 2010! I know, delayed entry, but still... I AM happy that 2010 is here!

2010 has so many promises of hope and blessing. This is a great year and the Lord has ALREADY done so much! 2010 is a year of double portion (2) and righteousness (10)!! How exciting is that?

Coming into this year, I was challenged by some local friends/missionaries to ask God for some goals for 2010. I'm NOT a "resolution" maker, but I can set goals. Especially when it means setting goals with a LIMITLESS God! Every goal that passed through my mind or I jotted down didn't seem big enough. I felt like they were good starting points, as if the Holy Spirit were to say, "okay, yeah, that's a good topic that I LOVE, but let's get a bigger goal for it, okay?" Uhh... *gulp* SURE THING!!

I'm not intending to share my goals with you, yet. Not all of them, anyway. A basic goal is communication. 2010 is going to be a year of communication changes.

I've been spending more time communicating with my loved ones in the last weeks, than I have in the last year and a half. I think my loved ones appreciate it as I've been keeping up with it pretty well, so far. I'm not sure how I feel about it yet. On one hand, it does a great deal of good to talk with my family and friends, but the more I talk to them, the more I miss them. So, I think I'd rather just be "out of sight, out of mind" than reminding myself over and over again that I just don't know when I will be in America next. It truly has been refreshing to share life so regularly with you all again. Be patient with me, as you await your time for my phone call. I'll get around to you, eventually. ;-)

Right now, I've been hittin' the books big time. A quick review- I am here on a Student Visa and through the University, all Non-native German Speakers are required to pass a proficiency exam (similar to TOEFL) within the first 3 semesters of study. During my last 3 semesters, I've been enrolled in an intensive German language course. I will be taking this proficiency exam beginning on Feb. 1st. Provided I pass the first portion (written), I will then go on to take the oral exam a week later. My future in the Austrian University system is riding on this exam, which means my current and future visas are riding on this exam, as well as my insurance. I have to say, in personal evaluation, I have grown exponentially in my German skills. I went from a few cute phrases at the beginning, to being able to understand nearly everything and to be able to respond in German. I cannot watch everything, but I can watch a handful of movies in German, and I am able to translate decently between the two languages for conversations. My recent translation challenges have, indeed, been challenging- translating entire church services into English. My goal is NOT to be able to translate, but translating does mark a certain skill level. The day I can translate an entire service into German will be worth celebrating! I'll let you know when the day comes. Again, in self-reflection, I am proud of myself and am grateful that the Lord has helped me adopt the language so well in such a short amount of time. This exam next week is a bit more particular than speaking with friends and teenagers, so we'll see how it goes. My confidence isn't necessarily building as I study, but my courage is. It will be good to have this exam over with and be able to move on.

WHAT will I move on to? I'm not sure yet. I am looking into some different course options that are potentially transferable back to an American University. In other words, I plan to take some classes that are effective toward my intended Masters Program. Which, I am not at this time disclosing publicly. But, I bet that some of you could probably guess!! Yeah, guess- go for it; this will be a fun game!!

What's going on within ministry? SO MUCH! Every time I turn around, the Lord is doing another great work. I am constantly overtaken by His ability to Love something... someone... to redemption. It's all about relationship.

My interactions in Graz are most consistently with the other international students at my school. I LOVE these people. I love that the one thing we have in common is that we are all foreigners here. I've had the awesome blessing of sharing the Gospel with a number of my classmates throughout the last 3 semesters.

One in particular, from China, borrowed my copy of Brother Yun's, "The Heavenly Man." This classmate saw me reading it in the hallway while I was waiting for our class to begin. He asked me what it was about and I explained that it is the testimony of a Chinese man who loves Jesus. My classmate was perplexed by even the idea o a Chinese many loving Jesus, so he asked if he could borrow the book. UH! YEAH! A couple weeks later, he returned the book and asked how much of it is true. I was able to explain to him that the entire story is true and that God really is just that worth loving. He didn't really want to hear much more, but he was touched deeply by the devotion. I've not given up on this classmate.

Another girl cannot believe that I am a Christian. When we first met, I still wore my eye brow piercing and she could see the tattoo on my foot. One afternoon, we went for lunch together with a couple of others. When I ordered a beer, she was in even more shock. She asked me, almost every day for the entire first semester, "Are you SURE you're a Christian?" In time, she grew to trust me and began to share her needs, very real needs, with me. It used to be that she would tell me AFTER a major circumstance went poorly in her life. Now, she tells me BEFORE the circumstance has time to play out, because she knows that I will pray for her and that my God will respond. Seeing the Lord's faithful touch in her life assures me that He is faithful to my life, as well. She brings me to tears on a regular basis. She hasn't chosen the Truth for herself, yet, but I've also not given up on her.

As I said, the absolute most obvious factor that my classmates and I have in common is that we are all foreign to this place. Grasping the notion that I am an alien to this world, this is a wide open door for me to share with my classmates. Some of them think I am crazy, and I am a little bit, but they all have grown to like and trust me. This isn't because of me, but because of the Spirit I can share with them. These are people coming from strong religious backgrounds- some Muslim, some Hindu, some Catholic, and some very much involved in new age esoteric beliefs. They all, however, have seen God... my God... respond in love and grace in my life. I've been asked where my energy and life comes from... they wonder why I have courage and enthusiasm even in the worst of days. They ask me how I dare to smile when everything around me tells me I shouldn't.

It's a testimony of who the I AM is and what it means to know that I am I AM's. The Kingdom in me is life altering. The Spirit gives without measure. God is Love, Life, and Truth.

What more do I need in order to change a city? Love smothered faith and obedience.

And THAT is why I have enormous goals for 2010.

Mark 12:29-31 (New King James)

29 Jesus answered him, “The first of all the commandments is: ‘Hear, O Israel, the LORD our God, the LORD is one. ³⁰ And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.’This is the first commandment. ³¹ And the second, like it, is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

Those were only two small glances into what's happening here. Revival IS coming to Austria! Kids are being healed and coming to know Jesus. Hearts and homes are being restored. It's not an easy endeavor for us, but it is an easy pleasure for God, who is doing it! More testimonies will come.

The Exousia worship CD is well underway. We've still got some tracking work to do and within a few weeks, everything will be sent off to be mastered and produced. I'm very pleased with how the project is working out at this point. A great purpose of this CD is to get more German worship music out there. Everything on the CD is original and is about 60:40, German:English. I'll let you know as soon as it is available.

There are also some big events/meetings mixed in with the normal stuff coming up in the next 2 months.

Here's a run down for you...please be praying!

February- (technically a month off)

1 & 8: Proficiency Exams

12: Vinex meeting

19-22: Worship Rehearsal for Balkan Women's Conference

March-

5: Vinex Meeting

9-15: Women's Conference in Sarajevo

18-21: Blast Advanced School with the topic of Worship

26-28: Youth Retreat- Vinex + Up with Bryan Leach and other LCMI guests (www.lcmi.org)

because I just need to get it off my chest

2009-12-14T10:12:00.002-05:00

NDAMUKONG SUH is the best player in NCAAF this season.

if only defensive stats were as impressive to hear as the offensive.

secrets of nightfall?

2009-12-13T23:25:00.003-05:00

Up late or up early? No matter the perspective, I'm simply up. I couldn't sleep last night and at this point in the battle, I'm beginning to lose ideas of how to make good use of the time. After exercising my more disciplined routines, I am resolving to a well overdue blog entry and a sunrise run. Okay, so maybe not with the sunrise, seeing as that won't happen for nearly 1.5 hours.

We had our first snow of December on Sunday. It's how a first snow should be. Gentle, light, yet confidently taking its place. Our FIRST, first snow was at the beginning of November. The flakes were big, fat, heavy and wet. Convinced they were leaving me with a minor concussion, I did my best to stay out of the falling globs- I took a bus to Croatia. This time, though, I cuddled inside with My Savior, watching Him delicately lay His grace across the hills. All the while, I asked Him for a new impression of who He is. I encourage you to anticipate the script of our dialogue, though I'm certain you've lost faith in my consistency as a blogger.

You might wonder why on Earth I'd consider running before sunrise after a snowfall. My answer is practical; why not? The below freezing temp considered, I've decided to take advantage of the Alpine Winter. I no longer live in fear that the wind-chill will freeze my eyes open, leaving me blind and unaware of where that wind-power is actually carrying me. No, there is no place like Nebraska, but this morning, I am oh-so-warmly-grateful to not be there. Now, off to stir up those endorphins and get this Monday started on a good, cheerful note (or, wear-out my body and take a quick nap before class)!!

...and to all a good night!

Halfurkey in Koinonia

2009-11-27T08:19:00.002-05:00

Thanksgiving tradition--

I am grateful for the opportunity to serve the living God. I am grateful that I know Him, hear His voice, and by His grace I can be near to Him. I am grateful for eternal salvation with assurance of promise, hope, and a future. I am grateful.

Soaking this afternoon, while eating left over pumpkin pie, I am enjoying the glory of Abba. Before I serve you any more pabulum (for you, Jo), I just HAVE to say- Kady makes AMAZING pie! When possible, grind fresh ginger into the pumpkin pie rather than the powder. THANK YOU KADY K!

Koinonia is an incomparable cohesion. Explicitly, the blessing of community with people of a shared vision, a shared heart, a shared PASSION is exactly what I am grateful for this afternoon. Thanksgiving day is full of potential for frenzied hecticness. My Thanksgiving was the opposite. Easy, enjoyable and enchanting would be precise adjectives. The morning started out with a final breakfast with my delightful Croatian sisters at about 8:45 a.m. After 2 cups of Croatian coffee, I was ready to attack the biggest obstacle of the day - a 15.74kg (35lbs) fresh-from-the-farm-turkey to roast. Testing the gas stove, I nervously struck my first match. No flames. Trying a second time, with very little hope, we testing the gas source in the oven. No flames. Alright, no problem. I still have the electric oven that I can use. Only difficulty is that this oven is approximately 18" x 18" x 18". There is no way a 35lb bird is going to fit in this small oven. So what did I do? The only logical thing that anyone could do- I cut my turkey in half. Ljubica, a great woman, assisted me in the dissection. Really, it was more of an aggressive hacking, chopping, sawing; than a "cutting." For the sake of remaining PG, we'll call it cutting. Okay, bird cut in half and lying pan. Next problem- fat birds have fat legs. Off comes the drumstick. Perfectly snug fit. Tucked into his nest of foil, the halfurkey went into the oven at exactly 10:00 a.m.

An hour or so later, the Wolfsbergers arrived, arms full of Thanksgiving necessities. Kady and Dylan had already baked 2 pies (an apple and a peanut butter), which quenched my nerves regarding the oven situation. In we went, preparing food for 20 people. We had no real plan of action, but we just moved right along from one dish to the next (and back to the first). There was no angst nor stress. We just laughed our way through and experimented. I am not one to be proud nor boastful, but I am going to say- we made an EXCELLENT team and everything was palatable. We cooked nearly everything without a recipe, naturally leading to many unavoidable taste tests. Jesus had His hands in our cooking. How often is it that you cook with 4 other people, for the first time, all having nearly the same taste for food? We prepared deviled eggs, stuffing, gravy, a pumpkin pie, a veggie tray with fresh onion dip, and of course, the turkey. Our guests brought the remaining side dished- green beans, corn, a fruit salad, cole slaw, and mashed potatoes (prepared in the same kitchen we were working). I know, the list of what we actually cooked doesn't sound so impressive, but please keep in mind, 3 small burners on the stove range, a tiny oven, and cooking for 20 people.

There is no real pressure for preparing the "perfect" Thanksgiving meal in a foreign country, right? We Americans are the only "sound" judges of the meal, right? WRONG. For the last 2 weeks, Franz has been sharing his excitement for the holiday with me. His first Thanksgiving meal, during his first visit to the States back in 1980, saved his opinion of the American kitchen; he reminded me of the story at least twice a day, every day for the last week. Not to mention, Julia who'd also experienced a real Thanksgiving in America. As far as Franz was concerned, it was ALL about "the bird" and how great "the bird" had to be. Made me sweat a little. This was my second experience roasting a turkey, and I think I have a gift for it- Bradley was delicious. Yes, I named him. When working with such a GINORMOUS beast of a bird, I couldn't help but name him. And yes, I am pretty certain it was a him.

We had delicious prosecco/sekt to start the meal with a movie-traditional toast, followed by Jason carving the halfurkey. We all really enjoyed ourselves with a nice stress-free environment from start to finish. It was a nice way to introduce the LCMI-ers to Franz and some of the other Grazers with whom they'll be interacting this next year (or so). Clean up Thursday night was minimal- refrigerating all the perishables. When the guests left, we Americans (and Josef), watched Elf with the projector. Around 2:30 a.m. we made it to bed with an agreement to take our time in the morning. By 11:30 Friday morning, we were finishing breakfast and got in gear to clean-up. Again, we made a really great team, with no stress.

It comes down to two large points. 1. Jesus had His hands in our cooking and in our entire celebration. 2. Koinonia. I am blessed with truly the greatest friends in all the world. Though we have different purposes, we have a shared vision of renewal and advancement of the Kingdom. Sadly, not all of them(you) are here in Austria with me, thus, I treasure those who are nearby. Kady and I joke that because we are from the same small town region of New York, we are practically family and, after Thanksgiving, we are definitely at LEAST cousins now. It's just such a gift to be with people of the same natural culture aiming to live the Kingdom culture within an entirely foreign culture. Thanks for coming up, guys!

What happened to the other half of the turkey? It's in the deep freezer with that remaining leg, waiting for Christmas dinner. ;-D

Taken Seriously Enough pt. 1

2009-10-06T03:47:00.002-04:00

In the last couple of weeks, I've had a revelation about the fear of the Lord. I don't think we take Him seriously enough. I've been reminded of our call to a righteous lifestyle and the power of repentance. The latter of which, I will address in a later installment.

"I just can't press through any more... " is a common concern and theme I've heard in the last weeks. Well, WHY can't you press through? What are you doing to counter the "issue"? Yes, we DO have desert seasons, but even in the desert, we have sustenance. We have promise. We have hope. We have a future. We have a decision to be made.

I do not pretend to be a master of a pure life. I don't sit in a judgement seat, but from a mercy perspective, I encourage you that our response in righteous is easier than we complain.

Scripture tells us from start to finish, that we are a "good", "wonderful", "free" creation, destined for "priesthood." We are reminded in Corinthians that we are "a new creation; the old is gone, the new has come." Not to mention, Jesus Himself prayed that we would experience He and the Father in us just as He and the Father are within one another (see Writer's Block for further explanation).

We have a decision to be made. So much of our freedom and experiencing the Truth is a matter of setting our will and choosing such a lifestyle. For example, scriptures tell me I am free- so I choose to be free. In the moments when circumstance, feelings and emotions lead me to think otherwise, I choose all over again, to trust and believe- I am free. Often times, speaking this out loud.

When we see the lurking lies, we often get caught up in determining the "source" of the lie and trying to figure out "why we struggle with _____ over and over again." I am a firm believer in the need to cut out sources from the roots... I am a firm believer in Inner Healing and what the Holy Spirit can do when we give Him such freedom to renew our hearts and set our spirits into a whole new level of freedom. However, instead of looking for roots all the time, we need to look for the truth that contradicts that lie. When I hear that I am "filthy" and "unworthy," then I need to seek scriptures that speak of my clean heart and how the Lord has handpicked me. I need to eat and devour these verses until they take control in my heart like a natural reaction- "Duh, of course I am chosen!" When I am overcome with exhaustion, I return to verses of the Lord's strength within me. When temptation and lust are in front of us, purity and righteousness are just around the corner.

Is it a quick fix? Sometimes. Mostly, no.

When we rearrange our focus and make the choice to set our WILL to the Truth, our souls will follow. I am talking about a real choice, though. This is no, "yeah yeah, ok, you say I'm free.. so I guess, I think I'm free" sort of decision. This is a "In faith, by the strength of Jesus Christ, I choose YOU Holy Spirit and where YOU are there is freedom. Therefore, I choose to trust that I am free just as you have promised." type of decision. Like I said to a good friend last week, then it is a matter of taking our vitamins. We don't become spiritually healthy by tending to our souls first; it is the opposite. Our spirit is head over our soul and body and therefore, filling our spirit with verses of Truth is what will bring this experience of freedom. This could mean reading the appropriate verses applying to the given lie 20 times-an-hour, posting them all over your house, listening to them from an audio Bible while you sleep, or any other method the Spirit shows you.... just get the truth in there. Don't worry about your soul taking time to get the hint; I assure you that your soul WILL catch up with the Spirit of Truth.

she makes me smile

2009-09-29T05:56:00.002-04:00

*ding dong ding dong ding dong* Ya know, they say living out here is a quiet residence. I beg to differ. We have the noon-time Catholic church bells ironically sounding from the "House of Silence". Then, there's the mid-morning, mid-evening, and MIDNIGHT sirens screaming across the hills. Now that it's prime harvest season, the tractors are running through the fields at any possible working hour. This includes late night hours and early morning hours. This weekend, folk music was singing from the neighborhood at the bottom of the hill. The funniest of all the noises, however, is the cow. Every so often, there is just one cow who bellows just one mighty bellow, also a day or night sounding. She makes me smile.

Just letting you know I'm alive. :-) Happy Tuesday!

WAKE UP!

2009-09-15T04:21:00.004-04:00

Counting the stitches on my beloved quilt, conviction settled into my mind. I don't speak enough. The previous post "Passion" is the prequel and introduction to this post- and hopefully a number of posts to follow.

Today's soap box: America.

Somewhere in the middle of my list, I wrote I am passionate about politics, reform, local missions, and culture/nations. I am going to take each of those passions and mold them into one [stretched] stream of thought.

I am not going to speak about conservatism and the great republican way. I am not going to encourage anyone in one partisan direction or another. I am not going to encourage anyone to eat organic and switch your bulbs to energy efficient. I am not going to speak against the current President. I AM, however, going to encourage you to start speaking.

I keep up with the status of America as best I can from over here. These questions have run through my mind; as I am sure you've also asked yourself.

What IS going to happen to America in the next few years? What's going to happen as this quarter ends and the first of 2010 begins?! What's going to change- for the better? -for the worse? How will those changes take seat? How does it all effect ME?

Before I can say ANYthing else, PRAY for the leaders and our nation; the issues. COVER America with the blood of Jesus, and I assure you, we will see change (for the better).

National level politics is a big leagues field. It seems like the coach's pitch all-star MVP trying to play with Mickey Mantel and Cal Ripkin. Reality is, becoming involved in the happenings of the nation is not so difficult. Glen Beck put it clearly in a summer broadcast- we are being OVERLOADED with information, and it is absolutely impossible to keep up with everything the Obama Administration is saying.

What CAN we do?

1. Re-familiarize yourself with the constitution.

2. Pick an issue and follow it. Research that issue and know that issue inside out.

3. Pick a person (persons) and follow them. Research that person and learn as much as you possibly can about that particular political head. Whether it be a senator, delegate, or one of these new appointees- PICK SOME ONE!

4. USE THAT INFORMATION. Compare the happenings within the realm of that issue/figure to the constitution. When something does not fit together, then begin to speak-up about it. Instead of complaining at the dinner table, write emails to your local representative and to the media.

That's the national level.

What I believe is far too often overlooked is the local level of politics. We get so into the news and rhetoric of the national politicians, that we forget that our neighborhoods are being impacted right in front of us. GET INVOLVED IN YOUR LOCAL POLITICAL SCENE!! Know who your Delegates are and begin to communicate with them. Attend board and council meetings. Again, you cannot do everything, so pick an area and invest yourself. Seeking local reform is eventually going to impact the nation on a broader spectrum.

So, WAKE UP America!! I can see from here that much of America has already awoken... now become proactive in your stance.

Passion

2009-09-15T03:51:00.003-04:00

I am passionate.

I am a passionate person when it comes to nearly everything I do. When I choose to invest in something, I go all the way in without reserve. What's reserve for, anyway? Back-up? I don't do "back-up" plans. I do full throttle, all my faith, all my gumption plans. And, if there happens to be a fail, I take all my energy into resolving the situation, or into developing a new method. Is it a waste of resources? Perhaps. For me, I'd rather run over failure with all my momentum, than get stuck in the rut. That's just me.

So, what AM I passionate about?

I am passionate about change. I am passionate about seeing people realize their potential. I am passionate about prophetic destiny. I am passionate about perfection I am passionate about divine order. I am passionate about coaching, encouraging, and teaching. I am passionate about prayer and intercession. I am passionate about creating and developing. I am passionate about music. I am passionate about worship as a lifestyle, but also as creative expression. I am passionate about truth. I am passionate about justice and mercy sharing their respective responsibilities. I am passionate about theater and opera. I am passionate about dance. I am passionate about turning a stage into a fantasy world. I am passionate about colors. I am passionate about light. I am passionate about life. I am passionate about politics. I am passionate about reform. I am passionate about local missions. I am passionate about culture and nations. I am passionate about learning. I am passionate about health services. I am passionate about blood/organ donation. I am passionate about friendship. I am passionate about reading. I am passionate about writing. I am passionate about running and sports. I am passionate about competition. I am passionate about leadership, problem solving, and communication. I am passionate.

What are YOU passionate about? Comment. Email. Facebook. Let me know what you're passionate about.

Shabby Apple

2009-09-11T07:27:00.002-04:00

I am absolutely stealing this post from E. :-) But, it's a worthy cause with a great source!

So, without asking her permission, I am officially copying her entire post and pasting it here. She wrote so well on the topic already, I think it's better to just give her the credit and the platform. :-) AND, if you're interested in a great blog (one that is REGULARLY updated), then head on over to Home With the Boys. If you are interested in the giveaway from Shabby Apple, then reply as instructed below on E's blog.

**I AM NOT AT ALL INVOLVED IN THIS GIVEAWAY!**

Again, if you are interested, you must follow the instructions below, and reply at Home With the Boys!

So here's E's post:

Shabby Apple captured my heart as soon as I read their story and mission...

After years of not being able to find stylish dresses that covered enough skin to make you really feel comfortable (without wearing a tank top, cardigan or long slip), owners Emily and CK decided to do something about it.

They visited trade shows, marketplaces and designer studios only to discover the problem was not that department stores weren't buying the right dresses, but that designers weren't designing them.

Shabby Apple is proud to offer you fantastic dresses that allow you to look fabulous, without having to compromise anything else.

A return to what dresses were always meant to be — a one-piece outfit. No need to add anything...no tank tops, no cardigans, nothing (except accessories, of course!).

Modest, fashionable clothing for girls and women WITHOUT HAVING TO LAYER!

For those of you who don’t know, I am a youth sponsor at our church and four years ago, we started a fashion show centered around modesty. It’s called “Unfading Beauty.” My good friend C is the creative mastermind behind it and I LOVE being involved with it.

Since that first show, I have become passionate about girls and women looking cute in clothing that doesn’t “give everything away.”

And Shabby Apple does just that. Cute dresses for little girls, teens and women. Even maternity clothes and fabulous accessories. And it’s all modest.

By the way, modest does NOT have to equal frumpy. Especially in the case of Shabby Apple.

You really must check them out.

And as if you needed more incentive to head on over to their website, here’s one more!

They are giving away a dress RIGHT HERE!

This dress – it’s called 90 WPM – isn’t it gorgeous?!

So how do you win?

All you have to do is click over to their site, browse through their beautiful dresses, and let me know which dress you love (other than 90 WPM) in the comment section! One comment per person, please!

This giveaway will close Monday, September 14th at 8:00 p.m. CDT when one winner will be chosen at random.

Have fun and a HUGE thank you to Shabby Apple!

Five Reasons to Fall in Love: 2nd Edition....

2009-09-08T09:36:00.014-04:00

...with Nebraska.

Nope, not a joke.

In case you missed last year's edition, you can read here about Maryland.

Nebraska is very much an overlooked state. It is underrated.

1. Nebraska is a golden, farming state. You may

not consider this such spledor, but I tell you, "a

mber waves of grain" takes on a whole new meaning on a typical mid-July afternoon driving across the interstate.

*1. This is actually a shot of Chimney Rock in the background.

2. Sunsets/Sky. Some say they prefer the sunset across the ocean or spread between the mountains, but if you've never seen a mid-west prairie or desert sunset, you don't get a vote. Yes, at first introduction, the wide open skies can be overwhelming for those of us who are familiar with the broken horizon. After my first NE sunset, I was in love. As you can see, rainbows become nearly tangible in Nebraska.

3. With the prairie land comes prairie weather- tornado season and amazing thunderstorms. for storm lovers like me,

this is an ideal all-you-can-eat buffet.

4. So, before everyone begins to believe that Nebraska really is just country mile after country mile of farm-land, I'll move on to patriotism. "There's no place like Nebraska, good ol' Nebraska U!"

Nebraska doesn't have a professional sports team, but the athletics of UNL are a great pride and joy.

Nebraska football is a tradition. Game days in Lincoln are phenomenal and offer an atmosphere like none other (Penn State offers competition in game day atmospheres). NU isn't just football, though- Volleyball, women's soccer, basketball, bowling, wrestling, etc. are consistently ranked teams, offering Olympic and professional athletes season by season. Credit for this photo goes to Maddie from one of my last Huskers' games as a student.

5. This is by far the most subjective explanation I offer. Rock Solid Youth Ministries. LOVE YOU GUYS! This is an incredible group from Christ's Place located in South Lincoln. Christ's Place and Rock Solid are considered a home and family to me. All of my RS pics are on my external HD, which is currently not with me, so check out the website and see how cool they/we really are.

An Attitude of Gratitude

2009-09-05T06:17:00.005-04:00

Thank YOU, my precious ones, for not getting too annoyed with me this past.... year. You, my faithful readers, friends, supporters, and family, have aided the wind beneath my wings. It has been all too long since I've provided a decent update for you, so let me see if I can do justice to the neglect.

As the summer began, I posted a calendar of what was to come. And, those events have all come and gone... among many other things. The summer has FLOWN by and will soon be tucked under a blanket of fall colors and autumnal winds until next June.

The events of this summer have brought great amounts of growth and stretching. My faith has been tested from one day to the next. How so? In simple, daily living. Last year, the faith was tested in great obvious ways- visa, housing, school, relationships. This summer, my [faith] has been further established in the small details of who Cree is. Peace has become something that I will to experience and exhibit, rather than anticipate appearing. Love has become my hiding place.

It's been a summer of gifts. Since my birthday in May, it's just been one sweet, honoring gift after another. Some examples include a new passion, restored vision, encouragement when least expected, financial blessings, new songs, ministry partners, and a new sense of easiness. I got a good coffee date with Daddy Steve in the middle of June. Hallelujah for that coffee date. He and I talked through so many things going on around us and how to move forward. It was refreshing to talk to an American dad face-to-face and get some sound fatherly input. While I have great elders here, there are so many little cultural things that really make a big difference when seeking advice. It was then that I was most at odds about whether or not to stay another year... and HOW to stay another year. Steve is obviously partial to young people moving to Austria, but he provided such an objective perspective about all the details (staying or leaving). Exactly three days later, I finally made my heart and mind decision to STAY, as a student.

It has been a summer of fun. Once work and school ended for the year, I was able to breathe a little and jump fully into the ministry. A team from America (PA) came over at the end of June/beginning of July to help with our summer camp and many to stay for 3 months. I have to admit, when they first arrived, it was too much for me. At that first camp meeting with everyone, I thought I would explode. SO MUCH AMERICAN CULTURE AND AMERICAN ENGLISH IN ONE ROOM! I feel I can say this without offending any of them (you)- I didn't want anything to do with them (you), at first. I was FINALLY confident in being here and then they (you) come and screw it all up! When I arrived at the Brauhaus, I was polite and reluctantly introduced myself, but it wasn't until the end of the night that I really decided I was genuinely happy to have them (you) there. Sorry, to all of you! Then, the fun really began. These guys fall into the category of gifts and fun from this summer. I realized how much I missed little things about the American culture and language. Even more, though, this is a great group of solid people. Friendships grew from within this group that I wasn't expecting- thanks for seeing past my stubbornness!

Some fun events from the last month: lots of ice cream, Kirsch's visit, hiking in Eisenerz, swimming, a weekend in Wolfsberg, Smor-ba-que with house group and the J-team (practically the A-team, but cooler). Now that the PA team has begun to leave, I'm sad to see them go. My heart is thrilled to know many will come back for long term, but the others- I look forward to seeing you again eventually... even if it means a trip to Harrisburg the next time I'm State-bound!!

It's been a summer of productivity. I won't write too many details here, because it is boring. But, many tasks have been completed for Blast, other ministries, and for me personally. I am applying NOW for my visa extension. It seems the little details are coming together and I will be able to submit my application the week of the 14th!! I'll keep you posted. This year here will be different from the last year and soon, I will be writing a more specific letter about what that entails. A sneak peak- I won't be working regularly this year, as I did last year. This will allow increased freedom in my schedule to do more of what I am actually here to do in ministry, but requires a greater faith and support in finances. We'll talk about that at another time, though.

I've missed all of you and I've missed blogging. In the next few weeks, routine will re-enter my life. I am hoping, that at that time, to be able to blog more regularly and to even have dates with you again!

Wolfsberg gang- thank you for your commitment this summer and for seeing beyond my early moments of resentment! Like I said when I was down there, it is SUCH an encouragement to have had you here, sharing and working toward a vision with you. Even if you've felt your time here was limited or what you've come to do is "practically nothing", I assure you that you've had purpose and change has been set in motion because of your willing heart. Thank you. To you, especially who are not returning for a year commitment, I pray you're able to take something from Austria back to the States with you. Your being here hasn't been only to serve, but also to be served. May you experience that as truth.

Thank you everyone, again, for all of your support and encouragement this summer (this year)! And, thank you for all your patience and understanding! I value and love each of you!!

Mahlzeit!

2009-08-31T10:22:00.006-04:00

Today, I give you a smorgasbord of rhetoric. Mahlzeit!

Nearly a month ago, I made promise of a [potential] reprise to my last blog post. Sorry, Suzanna, that has yet to come... but let me see what I can conjure for you.

-----------------------------------

The musings of my heart swell and overflow into the realm of Earthly reality. Before I know it, I will soar. I will fly. It won't be just my imagination, but they will have to create a string to keep this kite from being swept beyond the horizon. One day, they'll see that I was made for more. They'll see that, all along, I spoke not only of the things to come, but of the things that are. They will see the things of tomorrow were made manifest yesterday. No longer will I be a mere alien. Sailing the deep blue sky, that's what they'll see me do. Skipping across the clouds, from one nation to the next, I'll hurry my way into destiny.

-----------------------------------

In a world of black and white, suddenly space has no relevance. Time is a distant concept. In a world where red can be yellow and blue be green, peace satisfies the bleeding soul. The ladder to this hidden treasure is itself not so far from grasp.

A crying Father stretches to you. He meets you further than His half-way. All for the sake of reconciliation, he affirms that his love never fails. His promises blanket you as a fog crawls across a mountainside. Forsake not, his invitation. He already knows you and he already chooses you as his favorite. All that is required is that you bow down in adoration and affection. Receive the crown and the key to the King's private chambers.

-----------------------------------

Espamer tribute for the season: Sorry, Jo!

http://www.myspace.com/espamerjohanna

She kept me company while I worked all morning... may she bless you as she's blessed me.

writer's block

2009-08-06T07:03:00.007-04:00

What is writer's block, after all?

Is it a mere fear that every hopeful author carries in a corner of his mind?

Is it a lack of thought and creativity?

Perhaps it is yet another manifestation of the fear of man disguised as an oppressive state of the self.

Or, . . . Is it the fate of a new direction trying to pass?

We all know that this hurdle is not just something in one's imagination. Anyone who has attempted to write, paint, or enable any of the creative arts knows that this is a very real obstacle we all reach at one point or another.

~~Is it a mere fear that every hopeful author carries in a corner of his mind?~~

YHVH O'saynu, the LORD our maker (Ps 95,6) lives WITHIN us.

Elohim, creator (Gen 1,1; 17, 7) promised that His kingdom, everlasting, is in ME!

What is my point with all the Hebrew references? God is creative and not only is HIS creativity within me, but HE is within me. Therefore, is it really practical to think that writer's block is one's inability to contrive and forge? I don't think so.

~~Is it a lack of thought and creativity?~~

"...I know, was spurred by the fear of men..." Jason Gray comments on his own writer's block seated prior to the making of his latest album release. You can find his full article at The Rabbit Room. I appreciate Mr. Gray's vulnerability on the topic. We are all, of course, created to worship and the creative arts are all a facet of the expression of obedient worship we each carry in our hearts. However, we don't always acknowledge the Trinity to be our only audience members. More often than not, we consider the greater population (our churches, The Church, the World) our audience. "What will they think? Is it easy to read and understand? Can they sing along? Can they see what I see? What if it is too dark? What if the chords aren't so pleasing? The melody and lyrics don't quite match. The clay cracked. The paint dripped." We carry on about how "perfect" our creation must be to the eyes of man. We lose track of the purpose of the creative arts. We get wrapped into the realms of this dreaded paradigm called " the fear of man".

Perhaps it is yet another manifestation of the fear of man disguised as an oppressive state of the self.

A personal testimony:

In older blogs, I've written about my past as a writer. I am a writer. I always have been and I always will be. I write short stories, poetry, lyrics, music, nonfiction, parables, and all the likes. Until the last few years. Some time during my years at UNL, I stopped writing. Writing became such an effort that I associated with the classroom. It wasn't a joy any longer. It was what I had to do for all of my classes. So, I stopped writing for pleasure, with intent for creative worship.

You know what I am NOT good at? Art. Drawing and painting are two of my absolute weaknesses. And you know what I've been longing to do the last couple of months? Paint. I don't know anything about painting. Brush, paint, paper, canvas.. okay, I know four things about painting. During our summer camp, I was attending a writing workshop and when it came time for our free-write... I had no words, but pictures and colors. So, what did I do? Paint. *rolls eyes*

My implication is not that every occurrence of no ink means we should try another manifestation of our creative gifts. My suggestion is that perhaps there IS a change of direction. Maybe not so drastic as becoming a painter instead of writer, but maybe if you mostly write one genre or style, it is time to write in a new way. The Holy Spirit is bringing forth a season of something NEW. It is a new life in which we live. It could very well be that you don't have writer's block, it's just that the Holy Spirit is trying to take you into a new direction.

Is it the fate of a new direction trying to pass?

Determining the source of writer's block doesn't speak of overcoming it.

Resting. Relaxing. Acknowledging the presence of Yeshua. Surrender. Stillness. Waiting. Asking. Worship in the contemporary form with music. Reading the Word.

These are my best solutions for defeating writer's block.

few phrases

2009-07-12T14:19:00.002-04:00

I am officially living in the largest living quarters I've had in 6 years! WHOO HOO! I moved up to Blast Hill yesterday and I've spent today unpacking. I am waiting for a few pieces of furniture and then I can really settle, but it's starting to look like "my room" and it feels good to be here.

The Youth Camp:Passion is this week (you can view the page in English by clicking the link under the main logo). We run from Wednesday-Sunday. It's going to be a BRILLIANT time! I'm really excited for the camp.

Immediately as the camp ends, Mandy arrives here in Graz. I'll only have her for a couple of days, but when she leaves, I also will leave. I'll go to Croatia for some time. It is still open ended.

I know; short, simple sentences... sorry. Now, back to my nesting.

Urlaub? Not likely.

2009-06-30T06:49:00.002-04:00

Quick/Important Announcement: I've decided to apply to extend my Student Visa. Please, be in prayer agreement that the paperwork runs smoothly and that the finances come through (support "letters" will be sent out soon).

"Oh great, summer's coming! That means you'll have more free time, right?! You gonna go somewhere for vacation?!"

Riggghhhttt... more free time. Nope. Not happening. Not for this kid. Summer is just as busy, if not busier, for me. Sure, I'm not working or at the Uni, but there is PLENTY to do for Blast and Exousia that I am definitely BUSY. With what, you may ask? I need some prayer support for the following summer endeavors.

July:

1. German final

2. Hauskreis (House Group) (HK)

3. Vinex Meeting (Vinex is the combined youth groups from Exousia and Vineyard-Graz)

4. Rehearsal for camp worship. Church.

6-10. Moving to Blast Hill.

9. HK

15.19. Youth Camp- Passion!

19-22. Mandy visits

22.-??. trip to Croatia for some full on ministry. I'll be doing a lot of prayer/intercession ministry, as well as practically serving some specific families. This will be an intense time that will have great impact on the region. I've not set a solid plan as I'm not yet sure just how long Abba wants me there. It is important that I am sensitive and wise about this time.

End of July. HK mini-retreat at Blast Hill

August:

1-16. SOW preparations and closings

6. HK

7. Vinex Meeting (tbd)

8. self declared DAY OFF

9. Vital SOW prep day in Brauhaus

10-15. SOW

Mid/End of Aug. Return to Croatia for more ministry and maybe even a few days of REST!

During the weeks where it seems like "nothing" happens, there is PLENTY of planning work that I have to be doing. The great thing about summer, though, is that I know I'll get a lot of good ice cream. So, summer season, HERE I COME!

Congrats, Mr. and Mrs. Williams!

2009-06-21T09:19:00.004-04:00

There are a lot of things I've had to sacrifice since moving here. Culture... language... job... relationships... comfort... familiarity... and so on. One of the most difficult things to continually sacrifice, is being a consistent part of the lives of my friends and family. The Rock Solid Pebbles are all growing up (quickly and gorgeously, I might add)... the KIDS from RS are growing up and graduating [Congrats, Kels and Steph (and all the others)!]... and the recent, most difficult sacrifice- weddings.

Justin and Debbie married on Saturday 20.6. Since I couldn't be AT the wedding, here's my blog tribute to this awesome couple.

This is a relationship I've seen go through the races and come out strong. Their continual battle to keep Christ centered in their relationship is inspiring. They stand together in the natural and supernatural, supporting one another with the greatest strength the Lord can provide. They go into battle zones together and they go into the tent of David to worship together. They love their friends unconditionally, together. At times, I have advised them both to be "less serious" about some things... but their "seriousness" was only a quest for purity and true light between them. Worshipful obedience is at the core of this relationship. When the Lord told them to separate for a time, they painfully did so. When Deb went to Sudan and Justin to Texas, they clung to the cross in their relationship and persevered. When they were together at UNL, they re-learned how to relate face-to-face with one another. They learned how to accept change and growth in one another. They learned how to encourage continued change and growth. When the time came to separate again, they both were willing to sacrifice their own dreams and visions for the sake of the Kingdom. Upon reuniting (again), they grew together in a new territory- where they could learn to manage life together within a new church family, a new ministry environment, and with a different type of spiritual support from their loved ones.

I have had the honor to know both Debbie and Justin as a couple and as individuals.

With Deb, a relationship that began as a student-leader discipleship quickly became a very close, best-friendship, sisterhood. She is one of the most reliable persons I know (even if she is running/thinking on African time). She is disciplined, discerning, and growing more accurate in both. She is a joy.

With Justin, he started as "Debbie's shy boyfriend" who became one of the greatest, strongest, most courageous of my mighty men. He always took everything I could offer and ran to the throne room with it to get more from God directly. He is dependable, loyal, firm, and wise. He is... crazy.

Their gentleness, humility, and willingness before the Lord is encouraging. We've spent many nights praying, worshiping, sitting, crying, laughing, and exercising together. I trust them both with my life and my crayons. Aside from all the serious details- they are both fun. Their adventurous flair compliments one another like coffee and cake. Some of my most enjoyable, most embarrassing, most HILARIOUS memories are shared with this couple. Some of my deepest, most rewarding/encouraging, and even most painful memories are shared with this couple.

Mr. Justin LeRoy and Mrs. Deborah Sue Williams- I love you. You're two of the greatest and it is an honor to share in this carnal life with you. I look forward to more memories - supernatural highs, circumstantial lows, fun, and crazy (I was crazy once...) memories. When we meet face-to-face again, we'll share a toast with Asti and a glass of beer!

Procession of Process to be Processed

2009-06-10T15:18:00.004-04:00

Oh how great is our God?

It is just shy of 9:30pm and the sky looks like this behind me:

I am sitting on the patio to the rear the house, enjoying a red Zinf and my evening meal, while sifting through some notes. I'm on a quest for the "perfect" message for the youth meeting I am teaching on Saturday. It's been a LONG time since I've taught like this- it feels good to do this sort of lesson planning.

A lot has been on my mind recently, but the following things have weighed most heavily in the last few weeks.

During a spectacle of thunderstorm one May-Monday night, Cle and I shared some great memories and conversation with Sula. The question had been posed earlier in the evening, "So, what are you passionate about?" Some hours later, during our storm watching time, the answers to the question continued. I am asking you, this time, what are YOU passionate about? What do you plan to do about those passions? How will you realize dream-turned passions into reality?

Another small nugget- praise. For about 45% of my college career, the Lord spoke to me about being a "Praise Warrior" and some how, during the last 10 months, I've nearly forgotten the entire lesson series. Just recently has the Lord so graciously been reminding me of the truth behind battles won through an attitude and lifestyle of praise. Psalm 103 has been my heart's song. Praise the Lord, oh my soul, praise the Lord. May all that is in me remember what He has done and who He is... May all creatures of Heaven and Earth give Him the praise He is due. May every centimeter and fiber within me be a Holy praise offering to the most high King.

**disclaimer: the following point is much different from the previous two.

I really miss my precious friend and sister, Astiana. It's been 7 years, today actually, since she finished the race on this side of the Heavenlies. Missing her ebbs and ways. Some times, it comes like a high tide and washes me over more than one would expect after so many years. Other seasons, it's only a thought here and there. A memory provoked by a smell, a song, a sound, a Verse, or a photo. Recently, though, I've been missing her more than usual. I've had a number of dreams about her... I awake feeling as if we've actually been together. It is more than confusing to process. Typically, I'll take some minutes to let myself deal with the emotions and then I will pray for her family. It's been a long time since I have seen them, also- sheer distance is the perpetrator of this felony. This was just something that I needed to say.

Cle Time!

2009-05-27T07:49:00.002-04:00

Having Cle here has been amazing and painful all at the same time. I think his visit is killing me slowly via exhaustion. ugh... but so worth the lack of sleep!

Let's see... so far we've had some GREAT adventures. Here's a day-by-day run down of why I think I might not live past June 2nd....

Cle arrived on the 14th ...

15th: I introduced Cle to Graz, Temmel Ice Cream, and his hosts for his stay. Later, we introduced him to the Schlossberg and Kebap! yummy!

16th: we introduced him to Exousia! Whooohoooo!!!

17th: we went to Wien (Vienna) for the day and had DELICIOUS Ice Cream!

18th: Sula and I introduced Cle to SAX Ice Cream, the Mur Insel, and Tribeka. We spent a lot of time just chilling in the girls apartment waiting for such nasty weather to pass. It was, by far, one of the best days I've ever had in Graz.

19th: Julia introduced Cle to palatschinken....mmmmmm....

20th: we visited Uschi at the Kindergarten! We went to Verdi's Nabucco at the Graz Opera House!

21st: we had a big lunch with many good friends then had house group!

22nd: we spent the day in upper Styria! We visited Eisenerz and the Leopoldsteiner See. We introduced Cle to Tötdling Ice Cream. We went to Denise and Nevena's jazz recital thing.

23rd: we hiked with Didi and Karina, had a classic Austrian lunch, then went to church.

24th: we went to Salzburg and Doris joined us! Of course, we had ice cream there, too.

25th: we slept in. :-)

26th: we relaxed in the evening, then had our worship thingo.

27th (today): Cle's running errands with Julia and I'll entertain him for a short time this evening.

28th (tomorrow): Julia will take Cle to Zotter while I spend the day working my butt off.

29th: Cle comes to my house for lunch, I'll introduce him to Blast Hill, and he'll probably meet Yahoo for a walk. Sula and I've planned a "crazy, fun jumping, no stress worship meeting" for Friday night.

30th: Pfingsten (Pentecost) service for church.

31-1st: Budapest

2nd: the Ami's host the Austrians for lunch.

3rd: Cle leaves us. :-(

I'm not sure if it is all the traveling, walking, staying up late, or ice cream eating that is going to kill me first. Surely, it's not the ice cream!

means for a break

2009-05-13T04:56:00.004-04:00

Every Monday and Tuesday, I leave my house just before 6am and travel into the city, where I waste 30 mins waiting for the next bus that takes me back OUT of the city, in the opposite direction of where I live. During those 30 mins, I usually eat my breakfast, drink some coffee, and read my Bible. This Tuesday, I was in my own zone with my iPod running my thoughts when, all the sudden, THWACK, something hit the back of the bus-stop-hut. I turned in time to see it was an eager pigeon trying to be first in line for a dropped piece of bread. Well, he didn't win.

I did so well with writing here for the last week and now I am writing to defend why posts will likely be scarce over the next weeks. Clearthur arrives tomorrow evening! I am sure that I will have PLENTY to blog about, but I am not so sure how much time I will have to do so. Cle and I will be hosting a Mexican dinner/lunch party at some point (in honor of my birthday). Mostly, he will be witnessing our normal, day-to-day lives here, but we've also planned some great excursions. I'm sure that between all of us, SOMEONE will remember to take pictures. You can look forward to those. So, what's on the docket for May?

-Wien

-Opera (Nabucco, Verdi)

-Parschlug/Kapfenberg

-MAYBE Salzburg

-Budapest, Hungary

Das Einfache Leben

2009-05-10T07:23:00.004-04:00

Just a couple of pics from some great times here in Graz! The whole album is on Facebook.

Samoel invited a group to Blast Hill for lunch a couple of Sunday's ago. We had a GREAT meal and shared a lot of laughs. The work on Blast and with BLAST Ministries is truly very multi-national. . .

Sula(Ostrich) and Frannie(English) dancing.

Sandra(Serbisch), Sula(Ostrich), and me(Amish).

Everything at Blast Hill is a bit... different. :-0 We speak something of a mix of languages and somehow still call it "English." We also have circulating nicknames and jokes floating through the whole team of us. When we are all together and feeling patriotic, we address one another by our "nationality'- Serbisch, English, Ostrich, and Amish. When Sula and I are working hard in the office or for one of the schools, they call us both Sveznalica (wise-guy/boss). Other times, we teach each other rather useless words and phrases in our respective languages and the funniest of those words becomes a nickname. For example, most often they call me Vel(i)ka (big).

And we're off...

2009-05-09T07:18:00.002-04:00

I bid your company on my proverbial exploit. Where are we going? On a hunt for my English. Some where, in my overfilled, underused brain, I have an education in English. There is an abundance of vocabulary with a distinguished grasp of syntax hibernating in the, what I like to call great, annals of my mind. Before they decide to migrate, I deem important the utilization and production of such skill. *Note: Proper use of complex grammar will return with further exercise.

In a former day, I often wrote. I wrote well. Where has my writing motivation gone? Laziness cannot be blamed, nor can a lack of intellectual meditation. Simply not having adequate capability to most precisely depict that which has been floating in my heart has reserved my yearning to pontificate. Perhaps, my over-excogitating nature paired with an obvious fear of failure has been cause enough to diffuse my prose. Angst, be no more! We launch forward today! We, being my inner-author and me.

I need to write more in every sanction of life. I need to journal more. I need to write the deep revelations the Spirit shows me. I need to write the lessons He puts on my heart. I need to write of the comical, cartoonish stories from my daily life. I need to write in my blog more frequently. I need to write music again. I need to write about a million emails. I need to write more.

delicious feast

2009-05-04T07:42:00.002-04:00

Oh how I love the Balkans... mmm.

We had a great weekend feasting in Sarajevo. Thank you, all my intercessors, for covering me and the conference. I'm not really ready to post a whole lot of reflection, but I can say that it was an awesome weekend. There was an abundance of excellency and also a great deal of hard work. If/When I'm ready, I'll give you more details about what I witnessed and experienced.
Some focal points from the conference and from my personal experience there:
- Arising
- Trading in old garments for new.
- Speaking/Living the Word.
- Being Deborah's and Jaal's.
- BREAKTHROUGH
- Unity.
- Joy.
- Vision RESTORED.
- "Seko" relationships.
- Laughter.

Prayer Plea

2009-04-28T07:37:00.003-04:00

HEY LOOK! ANOTHER BLOG!

I'd like to say that "we" are on a roll again... but it appears I am alone trying to roll. Shame on you... shame on you.

Actually, this is my "Pre-Sarajevo Prayer Plea" blog post!

I leave for Sarajevo Wednesday evening. I'll first go to Zagreb and then drive to Sarajevo Thursday morning. I'll get back late Sunday night.

My health is attempting to fail me. All day yesterday, I felt dehydrated and really had to fight to get my body feeling well enough to function. I managed through the day but still felt like yuck by bed time. I woke up this morning no longer feeling dehydrated, but I feel like.... hmm... crap. I went to work this morning and actually got sick while I was there. I stayed- not to infect the whole school or to prove some sort of female-macho-hood... I stayed because the bus system left me rather abandoned. It was alright, though. I got through the hours and actually had a great time at work despite the crappy feeling. I am now in between responsibilities and my body is still trying to convince me it's sick. I know I'm fine... and I know this is only an attempt to take away from this week in Sarajevo- so please, stand with me. I'm continuing through my day with everything I had planned, but I am still taking it easy. I'll get to bed early tonight and tackle tomorrow morning as best as I can.

I trust you'll stand with me in protection and wisdom. I just need to be smart while I'm down there... thanks everyone!

Covenant Friendship- Only an Introduction

2009-04-26T03:35:00.006-04:00

Since we've all been slackers, and yes, I really do mean all of us in the blogging community... regardless of the excuse, new job, too much homework, a new baby, etc... we've been TERRIBLE... right, my main point, since we've all been slackers recently, I've decided to make a step in a more motivated direction! At least, for today I am... I'll probably go back to being a slacker in due time. :-)

It's funny how the Lord develops relationships. I had a number of friends (according to the American definition) before I moved over here. There were quite a few people I knew in the church and from other connections around Graz. During the first months, though, these relationships seemed non-existent, with the exception of very few. It was a trying time. It was a lonely time. I don't know what I've said on this topic before, so I could very be repeating myself, but I'm going to talk about it again anyway.
I am one week shy of having lived here for nine months, and now am I really feeling confident and comfortable in these relationships. I will talk about the cultural explanations for such struggles, but I don't blame only nationality for this time. I confess to having had my own deal of *crap* to get through with the Lord and this simply would not have been possible in a land plentiful of many friends. I also confess to having closed eyes for a season and thus, I confess to unintentionally hurting some of my Austrians along the way.
Austrian people are, as stereotyped, hard, cold, distant, and rude. Though not quite so as the German picture, they are disciplined and regimented. They are not at all anything like the Von Trapp family (aside from the occasional Lederhosen and Dirndl). So, no British accents, no driving on the left side of the road, no singing with every step through the market, no whistles, no Edelweis in English, etc. Right, back to my point.... Austrians, like the majority of Continental Europe, drive on the right side of the road. No, that still wasn't my point, but before anyone embarrassed themselves, I just wanted to bring some clarity. What WAS my point? Austrians as people.... This seemingly harsh surface is really only a surface. They aren't so hard and cold, they simply aren't small talkers (aside from the little old ladies living in Julia and Sula's apartment building). Getting to know any Austrian involves hurdles and hoops. It means proving yourself. It means inviting the Austrian over and over again until he or she finally says "yes" and allows you into their heart. It's tough work. It's exhausting and even discouraging if you're not used to such a repetition of what appears to be rejection. I was always told to "stick in there" and that Austrians are "friends for life." I can say, now, that I see what was meant by that. While the early steps of relationship with Austrians appears impossible, once an Austrians chooses to trust you, care about you, and love you as a friend, they will not let you go. They are covenant friends, only it takes them a while to choose to make the covenant.
Somehow, for me, this situation was different even still. There's another culture to be added to the equation- Kingdom Culture. Because the majority of the people I associate with are Christians, this concept of relationship is even a bit different. In this case, many of my developing relationships involved the struggle between Earth-bound culture and Heavenly Culture. It meant often, from both parties, letting go of familiar ways to approach a person and allowing the Lord's love make the statement for the friendship. This means a quick love and trust (at least to a certain level). This blessing of Kingdom culture allowed for open doors for prayer support and simple coffee dates. This allowed for meeting in the middle between American Small Talk and Austrian Walls. It meant willfully opening gates that would normally be closed and locked. It meant realizing a new level of trust in the Lord. And now, these relationships that have been growing in the last nine months are some of the most precious, closest, dearest relationships I've known.
Covenant friendship... ask the Spirit to show you what that means. For me, it means fighting on behalf of my brothers and sisters. It means standing in agreement to see them reach their potential. It means having fun playing tag on the Schlossberg. It means enchiladas, beer and a game of Oh Hell. It means crying, laughing, cheering, falling, rising, growing, praying, talking, dancing, working... loving... all in a way that represents the Gospel of Truth in a way that the world craves such a friendship.
For a long time, I've approached my friendships in this way- or at least I've tried. Once I let you into my heart, you're there perpetually. I think what's changed for me, though, is how I allow you there and what exactly I'll do with you once you're there.

I charge you with this examination- are your relationships something you can find in the World or are they something that the World finds attractively different?

Fruit Dip Experiment Week 2

2009-04-25T04:03:00.003-04:00

Week 2 of the Fruit Dip Experiment also went well. It is difficult to determine if my House Group ACTUALLY likes what I serve them or if they're simply happy to be eating. After all, we are a group of students (student age, at least).

Soo, what was in the mix for this week? I decided to make two different flavors this week- a vanilla almond and chocolate for hte perfect juxtaposition The chocolate tasted great- was something like a runny pudding. I'm not sure why it turned out to be more liquidy than the others, but it was pretty runny. Delicious, none the less. The vanilla-almond actually became vanilla hazelnut. It was a little sour, especially compared to the chocolate, but still tasty. I served both dips with apple slices and bananas this week.

GADC Dreams

2009-04-23T02:59:00.003-04:00

This is DEFINITELY a blog for all my GADC family. If I thought it were feasible, I'd take it as a sign to go home for a month to work this summer.

I woke up this morning from what might be the absolutely most bizarre dream I've ever had. It was at camp... and for SOME reason, I had to provide entertainment for the assembly. The only props I saw fit for my ideas were a chicken and a duck puppet (very large puppets, like half my size large). So, into puppet world I went. They both had British accents and were supposedly on some camping trip. After a while, the haphazardous duck was sent home because he caused too many problems. Then, my dream turned into a cartoon instead of a puppet show. I'd go on with the story, but the middle gets little foggy in my memory banks. It has a sad middle, an exciting climax, and a warm-fuzzy reunion between this haphazardous duck, the chicken, and all their other friends.

What I remember best about the dream- Michelle and Amy D. CRACKING up as I went about my puppet show. Hillary, you were there too, mockingly sipping from your coke.
Oh how I miss you guys... :-) Love you all!
I pray for the best camp experience for you all again this year. Well okay, we know it'll only reach SECOND best camp status since I'm not there, but I pray you have the best camp experience that is possible to maintain without me being there. Looking at the updates- it's definitely another testimony of how successful our God is. Keep it up, guys! If you let me, I'll do your devos some morning from all the way over here! :-)

Praise Awaits You...

2009-04-19T08:26:00.005-04:00

Freude Freude Freude .....

Joy Joy Joy .....

The God we serve is always at His very best. How assuring is that?

It's been a great season, Friends. The last weeks have been incredibly busy and stressful. I've been running around Austria, Croatia, and the Holy of Holies with such a new intensity and intentionality.

You know what shakes a city and changes a nation? The love of the Father.

Something I've mentioned before, I've always been known as the "strong one" and the "warrior." And you know, this is true. I am a warrior and I am a strong woman of faith. However, this warrior's prayers have been reformed. I've found that the best prayers I can offer sound something like, "Abba Father, help!" The "funny" thing is that this simple cry has been the most effective prayer I've offered in the last year.

This weekend has been absolutely fun. I arranged for a group from my House Group to go to Wolfsberg. You've read about Steve Espamer in previous posts. He's been here for the last two months with two other great men (Jason and Alex). They've spent the bulk of their time in Wolfsberg ministering to the young people there. This week, 5 of us went to join in the fun and to see what's happening with our own eyes. We participated in an evangelistic youth meeting consisting of a few worship songs, a short presentation of who our Father is, and then a great time of fellowship. After the service, we went to the bars. Just hanging out in the world and having a great, righteous time together is simply ... good. :-) Saturday morning, Jason was nice enough to let me help him make blueberry pancakes for everyone (something like 15 of us total for breakfast!). We got to see the new apartment downtown (testimony to follow) and then walked up to the castle. Of course, this time with Steve, Jason, and Alex is special for me, as I get the opportunity to embrace a familiar earthly culture. I think, though, somehow even more precious to me is the opportunity for deeper connection and development of relationships with my Austrian brothers and sisters. These trips give us the opportunity to learn more about each other and hang out without the church atmosphere. Yes, the best way to know a man's heart is to pray with him, but we aren't only spiritual beings. So, to my Austrians who will happen to read this, thank you for a wonderful weekend (and a wonderful 8.5 months so far)!
Returning to Graz led us STRAIGHT to lunch. :-) and eventually church. Church has been so fun recently. Worship has been SOARING and breaking into new dimensions (I pray the same is happening for you). A team from Prepare International (a ministry partner based in Texas) came to Graz this weekend to prep for a prayer trip throughout Continental Europe (Czech, Belgium, Croatia). First of all, these guys from Texas have amazing hearts and it is always a blessing to have them here with us. Second of all, I feel like all this exposure to other Americans is like little kisses from the Lord, just for me. It is a real blessing and honor to be a part of such a humble, effective, anointed community. There's NOTHING more encouraging than being EXACTLY where you are supposed to be WHEN you are supposed to be there. Thank you, Heavenly Father, for this plan you have for me.
After church, Sulamit, Bella and I simply weren't ready to separate, yet. Into the city we went! We hung out over drinks at one of the Irish Pubs (Flann O'Brien). Laughing... playing cards. Which, you know how difficult it is to find a card game to play when there are two cultures involved? Man... I tell you. I've come a long way climbing over cultural boundaries, but this card game search reminded me, yet again, how fun and creative God is. We ended up playing a riveting game of BS.
Today, I'm in the office on BLAST Hill. There's a prayer seminar downstairs with this team from Texas. I'm organizing some things here and enjoying the joyful atmosphere.
I am preparing my heart for the conference in Sarajevo. I am getting PUMPED... PSYCHED... STOKED... for this conference. My heart is enamored with the Balkans. I feel like the slightest bump would pop the love I have for this region and the women there. I would like to use this opportunity to make another plea for your prayer support in this time. I don't just mean DURING the conference, but these last 2 weeks leading up to the conference and the weeks to follow.
I can't believe how quickly time is flying. My birthday is just 3 weeks away, Cle comes in 4 weeks... wow wow wow!

The following is a copy of a testimony about the apartment in Wolfsberg I just wrote about.
Saturday morning we got a call from the owner of the Christian book store. He said we (Meinrad and me) had to rush there right away, that there was a woman that had a flat for rent, going on the market Monday, but she was just getting ready to leave for Vienna. She heard about what God was doing and wanted to talk to us first.

She has been praying for 5 years for God to do something for the youth of the city. Her flat is strategically located, right in the center of town, right where all the kids hang out, and she was heart broken over what she was seeing. She said she wanted to "give" the flat to somebody who was working with the youth but for 5 years never found anyone. She was holding out in hopes of being able to give the place to a youth outreach. She had no success in finding anything so was putting the place on the market on Monday. But she forgot her cell phone in Vienna so went to the Christian book store to use the phone, as she was friends with the owner for many years. She told him what she was about to do.

But he just "happened" to be at our meeting on Friday night, where Jason and I were leading worship, and where he saw one of the non church kids get instantly healed of pulled ligaments in her ankle. So he told her about us and she wanted to meet us before she left town in a few hours. We had a nice visit and told her what God was doing and what was on our hearts. 20 minutes later, right there on the spot, she "gave" us the flat, completely rent free, starting with a 3 year agreement! All we have to do is pay utilities and it is all ours. She gave us the key that day!

So now we have a home base to live or house interns, and to have kids over for meetings, right in the center of where all the youth hang out!

Fruit Dip #1

2009-04-14T14:17:00.002-04:00

Happy Spring!

Ahhh, I love the beautiful weather we're having here. Last week was a little warmer than I prefer for early spring, but this week is off to a perfect start. All this beautiful weather has me in the mood for fruit. I've decided to experiment with some different fruit dips, salsas, and salads throughout the season. Mostly, I'll be sharing them with my House Group.

Tonight, I decided to make the basic dip so that I can adjust to the different ingredients offered here. I used cream cheese and a variation of sour cream. There are several different versions of sour cream that I can choose from. They all have basically the same affect, but slightly different textures and tastes. This makes it a little tricky. The one I chose, was a good choice though a bit too sour. I added about 3 tablespoons of sugar. My plan WAS to add some vanilla extract, but I found out much too late that we don't have any at home and thus, I used some "vanilla sugar." The extra sugar helped take off some of that sour edge and the vanilla was the perfect amount of flavoring. I'll take my basic concoction to House Group on Thursday and see how it fares.

I'd appreciate any creative fruit salads, salsas, and dips you can toss my way throughout this season.

Excuses...

2009-04-07T05:17:00.002-04:00

While searching for CNN's online update of the Italian earthquake status, I came across an article discussing the latest "most outrageous excuses" for being late. I've posted the list of excuses below, you can find the complete article on CNN.com

Use your imagination

If you've decided honesty is not the best policy for you, don't try using any of the following excuses as the reason why you're late -- they've been heard before.

Here are 12 of the most outrageous excuses employees have heard for being late to work:

1. My heat was shut off so I had to stay home to keep my snake warm.

2. My husband thinks it's funny to hide my car keys before he goes to work.

3. I walked into a spider web on the way out the door and couldn't find the spider, so I had to go inside and shower again.

4. I got locked in my trunk by my son.

5. My left turn signal was out so I had to make all right turns to get to work.

6. A gurney fell out of an ambulance and delayed traffic.

7. I was attacked by a raccoon and had to stop by the hospital to make sure it wasn't rabid.

8. I feel like I'm in everyone's way if I show up on time.

9. My father didn't wake me up.

10. A groundhog bit my bike tire and made it flat.

11. My driveway washed away in the rain last night.

12. I had to go to bingo.

Just Sayin'

2009-03-31T11:40:00.003-04:00

I absolute have to get this one off my chest.

After class, most days, I walk from our building into the downtown area to catch my tram home. It's usually a nice walk with a classmate or two. Today, I arrived at what's called Jakominioplatz (Jakomini Square) which is the main hub for all the city buses and trams. While waiting for my bus, I hear a little boy yelling. I find him, about 2.5 years old, holding his mother's hand while loudly screaming "no" and other such little kid tantrum phrases. He stops yelling and out of NO where turns and kicks his big brother. The big brother is then yelled at. The little guy then turns and KICKS his big sister! I kid you not, the mother's response was, "Did he just kick you?" The daughter confirmed and then NOTHING happened next. Okay, so maybe she doesn't believe in disciplining her child in public (whether she speaks, spanks, or uses time outs, waiting till she arrived home would be absolutely unproductive in disciplining this child. He was WAY too young to remember for so long that he did something inappropriate, much less WHAT he did.). Alright, so that tram comes... at this point, I've been standing about a yard away, just watching and praying, "Lord, what do YOU see with this family?" He shows me his heart and his love for them. The tram arrives and on I go... this woman sits the youngest boy in the seat in front of me and stands at his side. The boy is staring out the window most of the way, but still yelling quite a bit. The mother gave the boy candy to keep him quiet for the bulk of the ride. So he finishes his candy and then, what does he do? HE SUCKS ON THE TRAM WINDOW FRAME! Seriously? I gag... a few times... and begin to contemplate getting off the tram 5 stops early and waiting for the next one, just then he stopped said sucking. THEN what do you think happened? HE LICKED THE WINDOW! I don't just mean one swipe, licked. I'm talking, his tongue licking the window and leaving shapes with his spit, sort of LICKING THE WINDOW! And the mother? Said nothing. Did nothing. And me? Gagging again. Seriously.

I'm not judging the mother. I refuse to do that. I'm not going to call him a "bad kid" because I don't believe in such a thing and I especially don't believe in saying such a thing. ALL I'm saying is... I'm just sayin'.

wow, I'm busy

2009-03-30T14:42:00.003-04:00

My new semester means a lot less time/energy for blogging.

On Mondays and Tuesdays, I'm leaving the house around 5:30am and I get home at 5:30pm the earliest. I try not to plan anything especially for Monday afternoons, but sometimes that simply isn't possible. Then Wednesdays I "only" have class now, which is great and makes for a lighter day. Thursdays I leave at 9:45am and get home at 9:45pm. It's not such a tough, long day though...since I end it with House Group. Friday's are from 9:00am until 2:30ish, and then of course whatever's goin on Friday night. Which, lately, has consisted of watching a movie that requires no real thinking. I don't say this in a query for pity, I say it as an excuse for the lack of updating. So, here's a run down (in brief) of what was and is to come...

Beginning of March- Advanced School topic- Leadership. AMAZING (as you read).
Mid-march- Julia had a concert and the following weekend, her mom took us to Appassionata. Also AMAZING. It's a horse show that is simply mind blowing if you have any sort of appreciation for horses and the arts. If I remember by the time I'm done writing, I'll upload a video or pic.
End of March- Steve Espamer is back in Austria and he brought a handful of people with him. He actually came at the beginning of the month, but the highlights I have are form the end. They joined our house group last week- it was simply fun. and AMAZING. Well, it was alright. :-) Steve talked about The Lion King-which i do NOT have the mental stamina tonight to help you understand what he really shared. Friday night I watched Open Season 2 with Julia. I have watched this movie SO many times since it arrived. I guess I'll get it out of my system a bit before I switch my computer back to playing the European DVD format. AND, Sunday was a Parschlug service. Parschlug, in case you forgot, is a small village in upper Styria where Julia's family lives. It's about an hours from Graz. They have a great (and large) house group up there and every so often, we have a Sunday service there. It's always somehow a special time. I love Parschlug and I love Parschlugers and I love Parschlug services (Hi Steve!).

And now for the things to come:
April 1: my German class is going to Wien for the day! hoooray for field trips! and double hooray for getting to have lunch with Hannes!
April 2: Teresa's birthday!
April 3-6: Worship rehearsal in Zagreb!
April 6-9: some time during that week I will go back down to Wolfsberg with Steve and his team!
April 10-11: I am staying in Parschlug (because I love Parschlugers!).
April 11: Tent of David worship service
April 12: Easter! Rather- Passah Feast! yum yum yum and lots of great spiritual food to go with it!
April 17: Trip to Wolfsberg again! Woohooo! This time, probably with some of the House Group!
April 29-May 4: Travel to Zagreb, conference in Sarajevo, then traveling back from Zagreb.
May 5: My birthday and DORIS COMES BACK FROM DEUTSCHLAND!
May 14: CLE ARRIVES!

Turn a glass of water into something beautiful. | tapdc.org

2009-03-23T15:20:00.002-04:00

Turn a glass of water into something beautiful. | tapdc.org

Posted using ShareThis

Spring Is Coming!

2009-03-18T09:20:00.003-04:00

Updates updates updates.....

Let me think......

Spring is coming... I can feel it. I can see it. Ahhh.... how I am longing for warmer weather again. I don't dislike winter, but I REALLY like spring. :-)

A new semester has begun (three weeks ago). My new German class is hard. Seriously. Hard. I am blessed to have a handful of former classmates in the same class with me again. Being together provides us each with a touch more confidence. I really like all my new colleagues, too. We're already having a lot of fun together- everyone struggles and everyone laughs through the struggling. The class meets everyday and on Wednesday's we have a different teacher than the other days of the week. This guy is so funny. When he was learning our names, he had no guesses in pronouncing mine. Of course, I probably wouldn't have either for the first time when it is mixed within all the Slavic names. After clarifying my name, he smiled and stated in German, "That's really very American sounding!" What better reply could I have than, "Well, I'm really very American!" :-) He calls me "Cree-Amerikaner" or "Cree-Indianer". The other teacher is good, too. However, the teaching method is a struggle for me. I guess in a couple of weeks I'll adjust better.

We had another Advanced School a couple weekends ago and it was amazing. The topic was leadership. I've taken a number of leadership courses and even have helped design some leadership development programs, so I was looking forward to the topic. The presentation was beautiful. I know what you're thinking- "how can a school on leadership be beautiful?" First, you should know that BLAST Ministries is really a family. Franz and a brother, Randy, from Texas did most of the teaching and American Steve (now living in Slovenia) did a couple sessions. The opening session was the "Ghandi Session" as I like to call it. "You have to be the change you want to see in the world." was the true gist of the introduction. The remaining sessions, though, were incredible. Our teachers were vulnerable as they shared their hearts- their successes and their failures -with us. This school had me processing so much the entire duration. The spiritual aspects of leadership were so directly addressed as well as the character of a leader. I can't do justice in explaining the weekend to you. If you're interested in the teaching, I can send you an mp3 CD for $20. Actually, if you are at all interested in any of our topics, I can send you the CD's for $20. Recent topics include- Kingdom Relationships, Kingdom Finances, How to Find the Right Partner, Kingdom Marriage, and now Kingdom Leadership. There are also a variety of teachings on Spiritual Warfare, Spiritual Gifts, Discipling and Spiritual Fathering, The Church that Jesus Builds, Tent of David... and so on. Comment or email me if you have any questions or requests. Jason- I'm still working on getting a better list together for you but this should give you a groundwork.

Things to come-
April 1: Class trip to Vienna.
April 3-6: Worship rehearsals in Zagreb.
April 29-May 4: Women's conference in Sarajevo (PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE BE PRAYING FOR MY PROTECTION AS I GO INTO THIS CONFERENCE!).
May 5: My birthday.
May 13-June 3: Clearthur comes to visit.
July 22ish: Mandy comes to visit.

Movie Reviews

2009-03-14T06:49:00.004-04:00

This week I went to see Yes Man with some friends.
Jim Carrey = great. As always, his performance is top notch. This isn't the typical "stupid humor" sort of JC movie... though it will keep you laughing. For those of us Nebraskans, it's especially a film for you. While the lead acting is grand, the writing is terrible. The movie itself was disappointing- the story line failed to succeed in my expectations. If you want a good, pointless laugh, then this movie is for you.

A movie I thought was all around well done-
Open Season 2. Thank you Jason and Denisha for sending me this movie. This is just downright entertaining. The story line is creative and the characterization is superb. The voice-actors were very well selected and had me convinced. A German speaking dachshund is the perfect flair (a special ounce of credit goes here for my current living situation) to accent a spastic deer and his colorable best friend grizzly coming against a prissy mini-poodle named Fifi. Kids or no kids, you will find this movie appropriate and simply, funny.

some entertainment

2009-03-13T07:55:00.004-04:00

Tim Hawkins is a Christian comedian and... well.. he's great. Check out these testimonials and his website for more TH info. I've included two fun videos that I think you'll enjoy.

Since I know many of you are Chick-Fil-A fans, you'll enjoy this.

Happy Friday, everyone!

and on commercialization...

Rainy/Snowy Day Activity Poll

2009-03-05T04:43:00.005-05:00

What's your favorite rainy day activity?

I suppose, since many of you are having snowy days this week, I will practice my politically correctness and rephrase my question.....

What's your favorite inclement-weather-day activity? This is assuming it is too terrible to be outside.

I love snuggling up with a salty snack and a hot mug of caramel-nut or mint coffee and watching a good movie.

This poll reminds me of snow days at UNL. When I lived in Abel, snow days were warmly embraced. During my 3rd-5th years, I lived in what was known as the "freshmen party" dorm. We had quite a few snow days in the winters of my 4th and 5th years. We made the best out of these days. I lived in this building with a number of friends. Most of us "upper-levels" moved there on purpose for the ministry possibilities and we intentionally lived on the same floor. I remember my 4th year was especially pressing academically. My friend and floor mate, Jeff, and I enrolled together in some of the Universities most difficult biology classes. With this being a major factor, Jeff and I spent nearly all of our free time studying together (we never would have made it without each other). On these snow days, he and I really couldn't afford the luxury of having a lazy day. So we would move our study materials into one of the lounges on the floor and we'd work while the others watched a movie. These days were the blessing we all hoped for. These were the days with enough study time that Jeff and I could take a break from memorizing the skeletal system of the skull or the nervous system and work on assignments for our other classes. Our group was really a little family, especially on these days. We'd work together, take study breaks and play games, go eat together, and get back to work together.

I am grateful for good friends with a good taste in coffee. We never had bad coffee when we studied together in Abel Hall. That's for sure. Even when the faces changed in my 5th year, quality coffee and tea remained important priorities. MMmmm......I miss good, fresh ground coffee.

So what do you do when you're stuck indoors?

polling

2009-02-23T13:22:00.002-05:00

Hey there

I was having trouble getting this weeks poll to work. You can expect in the next day or so... or next week. :-) We'll see.

I have one more day left of freedom before tests and teaching start again. I'm going to enjoy every last minute that I have remaining to relax. Okay, that's not true- any one who has ever taught knows that a vacation isn't complete without working on lesson plans. I will also work on some things for BLAST (we have another school the 6-8th of March). And.. I have a test on Wednesday morning. Sooo, really, I am only going to pretend to spend my last minutes relaxing when in reality I am working on many things.

Happy Monday!

Happy Fat Tuesday!

and in case I don't come back again before then- Happy Ash Wednesday!

Frühstück (Sorry, Jason!)

2009-02-16T05:31:00.006-05:00

I must say, I've really grown fond of the typical Austrian breakfast. A cup of coffee or black tea along side some bread with meats and cheeses and a bowl of joghurt and fruit makes for the perfect start. I even like the sour joghurt now. The family I am staying with here in Hrvatska drinks Turkish coffee. Yes, Debbie, it's that "nasty stuff" we gave Ebert. While it's pretty good when made correctly, it still isn't the best coffee I've ever tasted. In fact, I always feel a bit queazy as I finish the last few sips.

Back to the typical Austrian breakfast, though.

Bread-

The bread in Austria is delicious. There's a great variety of darker, whole-grain breads. I'm not a huge fan of many of them yet, but it will come with time...maybe. Toast is commonly on my menu. It's cheap and it lasts longer.

My all-time favorite bread here is the laugenstange. Basically, it's a pretzel stick but doesn't have to have salt on it. Mmm... it's so good with the "good cheese" (description coming soon).

Meats- Austria is known for it's sausages and salamis. Out of respect for a favorite reader who happens to be pregnant with handsome Levi whom I'd really rather not make sick, I won't include pictures. The meats are of all different kinds. There are salamis from beef, pork, venison, and so on. There are pepper-stuff salamis and cheese salamis. There are some that have so many chunks of extra stuff that it makes me sick to my stomach when I see it. Needless to say, I've learned to try the salami without looking at it first. It seems to taste better if I don't see what's in it.

Cheeses- Cheese here is hard, soft, spicy, sweet, strong, or mild. My preferred cheeses are tilsiter, gouda, and butterkäse. Butterkäse (Butter cheese) is what some of us have resolved to calling the "good cheese." There's a particular brand that is absolutely delicious. Mmm. It's a soft and mild cheese that has a great taste with the laugenstange and salami (and it's not expensive!).

That's my typical breakfast on later mornings. Mornings with an earlier start, I usually just have toast with butter and joghurt with fruit.

What do YOU prefer for breakfast? Check out this week's poll and leave a comment about your choice.

Learning Lessons

2009-02-12T10:39:00.002-05:00

This week has been a very productive week. I'm slightly impressed with myself. Combining our productivity rates, Julia and I decided that we had good reason for a movie night last night. A set of bagpipes made a short appearance in our film. That's when the following conversation took place:

J: (excitedly asks) What do you call those in English?"

C: Bagpipes.

J: (now sounding very disappointed) Really? That's it?

C: Mmhmm

J: (very matter of factly) We call it Dudelsack (doodle-sack).

Sometimes, German just makes me smile. Dudelsack is FAR better than "bagpipes"...

Oh, and I learned this week that the Electric Slide isn't international. I never would have guessed. I taught one of my 14 year old classes the Slide yesterday and tomorrow I'll be teaching the 12 year olds. Ahh... still changing this world one adolescent at a time.

Valentine's Poll

2009-02-09T14:28:00.003-05:00

The new poll is up- What's your favorite TRADITIONAL Valentine's gift?

Before I respond to the current poll, let me respond in retrospect. :-)

While I love the fun of the "Big Game" on Superbowl Sunday, being a Husker means EVERY game is a "Big Game" during college football season. Therefore, the pro's leave me bored. I love the heat of March Madness and the World Series. I think this is the Marylander in me- Baseball and Basketball. What can I say?

Back to this week's poll-

Chocolate is an easy winner for every day. My favorite Valentine's gift to give and receive would definitely be homemade valentines, though I'll settle for a printed card.

Have a great week!

Don't forget to post a comment about WHY you choose your answer!

Happy... Anniversary?

2009-02-07T04:53:00.009-05:00

Well, I'm not entirely sure what to call it, but as of Thursday, Feb 5th, I've been here for 6 months! WHOO HOO! Here are some photos from these first 6 months.

Regine and I at our GINORMOUS "brunch" with the Kirschen and Co. [August]

Jason, Julia, me, and Denisha storming the Hohensalzburg (High Salzburg Fortress/Castle). [August]

Steve during bar ministry in Wolfsberg. [October]

Julia and I at Nevena's Matura Ball! [November]

Some of the girls from my Deutschkurs at the Kunsthaus. [December]

Joy playing in the snow on a Carinthian mountain the day after Christmas. [December]

New Years was PERFECT with Steph and the other Nebraskan girls here! [December/January]

I have some more pictures from a January trip to Bavaria but I've been too lazy to upload them from my camera- you'll just have to wait.

What's coming in the next months?

February- A trip to Zagreb, Croatia for a worship rehearsal.

March- Advanced Schools, Sarah will be in Germany, and probably another worship rehearsal in Zagreb.

April- Who knows?

May- Women's Conference in Sarajevo (I'm playing for worship there and this is why I have rehearsals in Zagreb), my birthday, CLE IS COMING (lots of playing and a trip to Italy and/or Budapest)

I don't know anything beyond May at this point. :-) But these are the things you have to look forward to hearing about!

Life and Blog Update

2009-02-01T15:05:00.006-05:00

My application for the Fulbright Teaching Assistantship is nearly complete. I should receive my UNL transcripts tomorrow 9according to FedEx tracking!) and I can send all the materials on Tuesday. HOORRRAAAYY! I will be sure to let you know what the say.

THE MOST EXCITING UPDATE RIGHT NOW IS..............
...CLE IS COMING! That's right, my faithful prayer partner from Abel Hall; my CP sermon-note-copying pew-mate; my UNL-SOM emphatic relief; my sense-of-humor-sidekick; among the best of best friends I have, CLEARTHUR is coming over to play! He comes in May for 3 weeks. I am so incredibly excited! Cle and Cree united again to rock the Austrian culture and teach them about Cwee and Cwe!

Now the blog update...
Changes are still coming. Most you cannot notice and probably will not notice, but they are things that will make blogging run more smoothly at least from my end. Thanks for continuing to bear through this with me.

Things you will notice-
World Clock-One of the most popular questions I am asked when in conversation with someone State side is, "So, like, what time is it there?" Here you have it. I am 6 hours ahead of the Eastern Time zone and 7 ahead of Central. Your clocks are included for easy reference.

Poll-In honor and respect of Erin, I've decided to continue the blog poll here. We'll see how long I can manage to keep up with it. Leave comments about WHY you chose a particular answer and I will also share my answer.

ACHTUNG! BAUSTELLE!

2009-01-26T15:38:00.002-05:00

That's right, the blog's UNDER CONSTRUCTION.
Amy's recent changes have encouraged me to do some fun blog reconstruction. It might be a slightly messy process as I cannot sit and work through all the details long enough to finish the work. Just bare with me. It'll be cleaned up eventually.

As they say in German, ACHTUNG! BAUSTELLE!

Soap Box

2009-01-19T08:49:00.003-05:00

One of my favorite times of every day is when I get home and change into comfy clothes while enjoying a cup of coffee. Today, it was a macchiato. It was delicious. The rest of my day is filled with "work" and then a movie this evening. We'll see just how productive I really am. Is it bad that I am skeptical of myself? I prefer to consider it honest self-reflection.

Seriously, life is good. As challenging as ever, but good. Sulamit leaves Friday for the States. It's a little strange to be prepping her with fun cultural clues. While we laugh over the details, I realize I'm going to miss her for the weeks she is gone. I'm still unsure about my own next transatlantic adventure. I am clinging to the ideal of June-July. A few weeks in Nebraska and a few weeks in Maryland, allowing me time to enjoy both "homes". This plan would put me in Nebraska for Debbie and Justin's wedding. We'll see. It really depends on my next semester of German and financially, if it is possible/plausible.

My days here are filled with working and learning. Both classrooms are still going well. My heart broke last week for the Austrian students and the way they are treated by their teachers. I heard another teacher call yet another student stupid. It hurts to hear such words being spoken to any child; to any person. The teachers wonder why certain classes have a harder time concentrating and behaving themselves, while they sit in the conference room talking about how "stupid", "terrible" and "hopeless" these kids are. I don't get it. THEY don't get it. The more you call someone hopeless, the more hopeless they are going to become. You who read my blog know better than most that my passion lies in youth. Teenagers are such a precious generation. They are not a lost-cause and they are not destined for failure. They are ambassadors with a message of love, hope, and life. They are ambassadors for a Kingdom unshakeable. They are ambassadors destined to rearrange the chaos of this wretched, insubordinate world. They are ambassadors who are designed for success and they will seek the standard of Heaven to fall into the world. This generation is a throne room generation. This generation is changing the world. Pray for these workers, that the harvest may be gathered and kept. Pray for these Princes and Princesses to know their seat is established, and to spread this truth in courage and authority! They are a "dancing generation" filled with prophetic praise and purpose! Their time is NOW!

That being said, I'm going to see what I can accomplish this afternoon.

Why Austria?

2009-01-11T09:33:00.002-05:00

Social Welfare System!

I have to say, one of the single greatest things about living in Austria is the health care. My health insurance is cheap and covers EVERYthing. And, I mean EVERYTHING! I've only been to one doctor since being here but I think I might go more often only because I can. Dentist, orthodontist, surgeon, family practitioner, eye doctor, ear doctor, internal doctor, foot doctor, so on and so on. Okay, so maybe not, but it is a nice feeling to know that if an emergency were to arise, there would be little to no financial effect. I'm going to miss this when I leave. Mostly, I am going to miss the low-cost of the benefits.

Though I'm obviously bored this afternoon, things are going well.

new born baby pictures

2009-01-03T07:42:00.001-05:00

This is funny and cute!

The Denver Waltz

2009-01-01T11:19:00.005-05:00

Here's a fun post we've all been waiting for!

LIfe in Austria is fun. Different, similar... but fun none the less. I really enjoy the adventure. At least, I'm learning more and more to really enjoy the adventure. Something that's been a mark of my character- thriving on change -has been seriously confronted and, I hope in the end, confirmed. I love being here. I really love being here. I can make no claim that it gets any easier with the passing days. Quite the opposite may very well be true. The longer I am here, the more I feel my heart deepening to this people and this place. Also, the longer I am here, the more I feel my heart deepening for the American people. It is interesting to see the Lord developing my heart for two very different places at the same time. I've never been such a patriot as I am now. I take that back- I'm really no more patriotic, but my heart to see the US changed and brought to life has really been established. It's a good feeling. That being said, I am still not sure yet when I will return to the States for "long term." My Visa currently allows me to stay in Austria until the end of October. At which point, I can either some how extend my Visa or return to America. I'm considering my options for grad school. I really want to attain my masters and I need to do that some time in the relatively near future (hopefully, before I forget the content from my undergrad career). This is something that weighs heavily into consideration for the next year. Of course, if I go "home" in October, I will probably spend the rest of the 2009-2010 school year working. I'd take that time frame to prepare necessary entry requirements. On the other hand, staying here is still appealing to me. I think that staying in Austria for a second year would best be accomplished through a Fulbright teaching assistantship. This would provide a higher income than I currently receive and would release me from University classes. We'll see what happens. I plan now to apply for the Fulbright position. Once I am accepted or declined, I can then make my official decision about staying. At least, that way I will have an option and by then, the Lord will give me clear direction of what I am supposed to do. Pray that I get on my game for this application process.

Now, about the events of my current life.

Christmas week was wonderful. I went to Parschlug with Julia to enjoy her family. We really had a great time. Christmas Eve was spent with a morning of relaxing. We had Fondue for dinner..mmm it was so good. Julia's dad prepared the homemade sauces for dipping and we devoured choice pork, beef, and turkey together. For sides, we had potato salad and a few other salads. After all was said and done, we all ate WAY too much. I'd do it again. :-) Christmas day was spent with Julia's extended family on her mother's side. It was a bit stressful but still good. This large family meal went much better for me than the last one I attended. Understanding the language better helps, being known by most of the relatives allows more room for a welcome, and also knowing the majority of relatives makes it easier to know what to expect. The after wore us all out. We watched Prince Caspian together when we got back to Julia's parent's house. This was the perfect way to unwind. On the 26th, we travelled to Julia's aunt and uncle on her father's side of the family. While most of the family spent the morning skiing, Julia, her mom, Joy, and I went for a nice walk.

Saturday evening, two of three American visitors arrived! Steph and Hannah came directly to Graz from the States and Jess arrived in Vienna from Barcelona. Sunday, we retrieved Jess from the train station in Bruck and then headed to the Grüner See for a walk and fresh mountain air. Julia's parents fed us a large, delicious lunch (as always) of schnitzel and rice. We returned to Graz after allowing time for Julia's parents to bless each of the three visitors. Monday we hung out in Graz. I met Julia and the girls in the early afternoon for Running Sushi (yummy) and we enjoyed a walk/mini tour of the Schlossberg and parts of the downtown area from Regine. This tour was interrupted by a coffee break at the Sky Bar. When we were nearly ice cubes, we returned home. Tuesday we went to a Thermalbad (HOT SPRINGS!) for a girls day relaxing. There were 7 of us total (4 americans, Julia, Doris, and a friend of Doris') Aside from Steph having some sort of 24-hour bug, it was an indescribable day. We were all well relaxed by the time we left. We returned to Graz and shared a nice meal together on BLAST Hill (where Julia stayed with the 3 girls) and watched the movie Luther. Wednesday, Julia dropped the girls downtown to do some shopping. I met them in mid-afternoon when we went to Stefan's apartment for warmth. We had already planned to meet at Stefan's for a nice dinner and hanging out with the house group. We had a lot of fun celebrating New Year's Eve. We made browning and chocolate chip cookies for dessert from our chili con carne. After dinner, we played a game called Activity Code. After an interrupted time of free worship, we decided to go downtown. We brought in the New Year with Glühwein and a terrible band followed by a terrible DJ. The tradition in Austria is to dance the waltz at midnight. Of course, a waltz was played. What was most interesting, however, was the song AFTER the waltz was John Denver's Country Roads. I'm convinced the DJ heard rumor of a group of Americans celebrating with them. After Country Roads, we had our toast and then moved into the thick of the crowd and had a great time dancing and just being silly. It was a great way to spend my first Austrian New Year's Eve! Today, Julia took the girls to Vienna as they fly to Barcelona tomorrow. Saying goodbye made me sad and left me feeling a bit lost, but still good. I am so glad to have been blessed with time with these girls. It was great to re-establish a relationship with Steph and to get to know the other two girls.

I am now trying to iron out plans to go to the Munich area for the weekend. I was planning to go to Zagreb but that didn't work out. Since I was already planning a weekend out of town, I thought I'd try to visit Rodrigue and Helen while I can. Hopefully, we figure out the train schedule and find me a great cheap option to travel to them. If I find it's expensive, then I'll be here for the weekend, but I really hope to be able to see them.

Here are some pictures from our day-after-Christmas-walk and from our New Year's Eve game time! Enjoy! For more of my pictures check out the album here on facebook. For Suky's addition pictures from New Years, check this link.

They clearly weren't very impressed by the rules.

These two were quick couch buddies!

We (plus Andi) made for the BEST team (WE WON)!!

fun link

2008-12-24T04:43:00.000-05:00

Enjoy this picture gallery of funny signs around the world.

photos available

2008-12-16T15:04:00.000-05:00

Just wanted you to know that I've finally posted SOME pictures. They're on Facebook... enjoy!

The Glorious Gift of Wood Stoves

2008-12-13T05:52:00.000-05:00

When I emerged from my room this morning, I found a fire burning in the stove. I'd been working on some sound editing in my room but since I have this handy-dandy invention of a laptop, I decided to move my work to the dining room area next to the stove. It is cozy here today. Simply nice. The house has a calm atmosphere today. Something we've been missing for a while. I am working, but it isn't too difficult nor strenuous today. The files I am editing are only voice files and I'm producing the various translations from the last Ministry School. The worst part is waiting for Garage Band to convert the final edits into mp3 coding. As I said, it's not so bad. I suppose it gives me an excuse to blog while I'm between the edit and conversion.

There's a burning, stirring feeling in me today. It's a compelling feeling. It's that "something is going to happen" feeling that brings you aware of the need for focus and intercession. I'll see what I can finish of these files in the next 30 minutes or so and then spend time pressing in.

Talking to Teresa last night made me aware of something else. She asked me what the church looks like here, how the ministry actually functions, what my purposes have been, what am I doing here, are there pictures, etc. Her questions boiled down to a simple phrase she responded with, "it's good to actually know where you are." I wish it were easy to keep you better informed about all these things. I guess, the basis for the complication of explaining is that, well, I am living life here. I'm working and studying, simultaneous to doing ministry full time. Should sound similar to what you are doing there. At least, the latter facet of the sentence should resemble the similarity. Being the friend she is, I know what she was really asking about and I know the questions you are all wondering have no fault to them. In no simple means can I answer all your questions within a public blog, so I will do my best to describe Exousia to you today.

Exousia is a small fellowship- roughly 70 people in attendance. We meet on Saturday evenings for our regular worship service. It is a free church in Austria- meaning it is not Catholic and it is not the State's church. It is an apostolic, prophetic, warring, worshiping family. They generally push for the "unreachable" in order to bring to Earth that which is in Heaven. They are unlike any other church I've been a part of or visited. They are raw, real, and burning. They are, of course, imperfect but they are striving and growing in great ways. They are teaching me many things while I, in turn, am offering them as much as I can.

Feel free to leave comments or send me emails with the details you're still curious about. I don't bite...most of the time.

Jingle bells...Batman smells...

2008-12-11T16:03:00.000-05:00

Did you know that the titled lyrics are international? Totally. The explanation: Our class is completely international- ranging from China, Iraq, and Kosovo, to Romania, Greece, and America (me!). And I've left out a few other countries. Being from so many different countries, the only link we all have is the bit of German we've already learned together. Sitting in class, hardly paying attention, someone mentions Christmas songs- in German. To better explain what this expression meant, someone began humming "Jingle Bells." My friend from Romania proceeds to sing, "Jingle bells...Batman smells...Robin laid an egg." I laughed so hard and asked, "THAT'S INTERNATIONAL?!???!!!!" She just smiled and firmly replied, "Yes, of course."

two more weeks

2008-12-04T16:39:00.000-05:00

Winter break is coming! YEA! It's not the end of the semester here, though. How strange is that? We go until the end of January and then have the month of February as a break.

It's been a busy couple of weeks. Last I wrote, I mentioned the schools and meetings and so-on. We just finished hosting two Ministry schools here and Franz went to Albania to do another this weekend. I still have some follow-up work to do from this past week, but I am glad the bulk of it is finished. It's a lot of work at one time. And, in this case, it also happened to fall at a very busy semester time. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE doing this work! I love working for Franz. I loving putting myself into this ministry. I love working with Sula! I love it! But, I'm tired.

Plans for this weekend include-

Friday - working in the morning, putting together Julia's birthday gift, sleep-over at BLAST Hill with the Croatians.

Saturday- doing laundry, church, and playing with Sula (I'm really looking forward to this).

Sunday- Celebrating Julia's birthday.

Monday (it's a holiday; apparently, a very important Catholic holiday)- resting, doing homework, ironing, and who knows what else.

Hope all's well on your end. I miss you guys......

finally worth reading

2008-11-15T07:56:00.000-05:00

Many of you have been asking about things and I realize that my updates as of late have been scarce and really only about the logistics of my staying here. Sorry for that. I finally have some time this afternoon before church so I will see what I can do to provide a worth while update.

By category--

Work:
Teaching in Eggersdorf is going well. We had some bumps along the way with my availability. As these things have settled, my time at the school has become more enjoyable. The students are from 11-14 years old. We have a great time together. In some cases, I will teach an entire class about American culture or geography. Some lessons, I will rotate small groups thrughout the class duration and we will practice reading and speaking. Other lessons still, I meet with a small group for the entire class time and we only practice speaking. I want to teach the students to love language and to enjoy using English. I remember my first years of learning Spanish were terrible for me. I saw no real purpose and therefore, did not want to learn. I don't want that for these kids. I know that language learning is not easy, and for some, it is right-out difficult. These are the kids I like working with the most. How do I teach them to enjoy English? We talk about fun things! Yeah, sure they love learning about American sports, food, school systems, etc. but I am willing to talk with them about anything they enjoy. If the students in a small group only want to talk about their plans for the weekend, that is okay with me, so long as they use English. The kids have become pretty warm toward me and really even take good care of me. They also help me with my German in some small, fun, and important ways. All in all, we have a great time together. I am at the school for a total of 7 lessons (periods) each week.

Uni:
Learning German is not easy but is is becoming more and more fun for me. I am now able to understand very well and my speech is improving week by week. I look forward to the day I can communicate with out translation!

BLAST:
things with BLAST slowed down for the last month but they are picking up speed (QUICKLY) again. We have three schools coming up the last week of November into the first week of December. We also have a BLAST Team meeting next weekend, so Sula and I have been busy organizing and trying to keep up. All of this work is even more difficult to manage now that we both are full swing into the semester and we neither of us has a consistent way to travel to the office.

OTHER CATEGORIES--
Crossways:
Sparing you the details, as of about three weeks ago, I was adopted as the bass player for Crossways, Julia's band. Sadly, we've only had one rehearsal since I joined. We have our next performance/contest on December 12. I'm looking forward to it, though I still have a lot of practicing to do.

Culture:
I am attending my first Austrian Matura Ball next weekend. It's along the lines of a prom but a bit different. The purpose is to celebrate the graduating class. "Matura" is the name of the final exams that Austrian students have to pass. I'd explain it to you in more detail, but I'm not really sure how it is, yet.

Ministry:
Housegroup has been AWESOME these last weeks. We've been really growing as a family and learning to love each other as such. Steve Espamer, from Pennsylvania, has been with us for the last few weeks. Steve comes to Austria a few times a year for missions. This trip, he brought a friend named Ron. These two guys are great. It has been a real treasure of a blessing to have them joining our house group for these weeks. Last night, I went with them to a town called Wolfsberg to do some teens ministry. There was first a service combing the youth groups from the churches of Wolfsberg. Some people from 2 hours away even came for this service. There were for sure 8 first time salvations!! Many teens were touched in great ways, though- some healed, some encouraged, some just learning more about this God who loves them. After the service, we went back into town to do some bar ministry. We had some awesome conversations with people! All in all, it was an astonishing trip!

Now:
I am going to take my laundry out of the washing machine so it can dry. I think I might take a nap or watching something that doesn't require any thinking until it is time to leave for church.

I'll include some pictures of Graz in the fall, my drive to work, and Wolfsberg.

hooray!

2008-11-07T08:52:00.000-05:00

Sorry for lack of posting recently. It has been a tough, trying, tiring, wonderful, fun, and busy time. I am only home for about an hour before I have to leave again so I will keep this very brief....
This morning, I went to the Buro and....

I GOT MY VISA!!

Blessings!

Waiting

2008-10-20T15:49:00.000-04:00

As I find myself in a "waiting" season, I don't really have much of an update. I am waiting. Patiently.... well, as Uschi said, "Lord, give me patience. NOW!!" We'll see how the Lord handles a variety of circumstances...it'll turn out ok. Those of you who are aware, thank you for your prayer.

Band Needs Votes

2008-10-14T11:37:00.000-04:00

I have posted this and sent emails to some of you and Julia may have already talked with some of you about this, but just in case she hasn't....

Julia's band, Crossways, is currently in a contest here. They play/participate in the first round next weekend but all the voting is done online by the fans. She needs your help with this. Please, register here . I will give you the list of translation for each part of the form that you need to actually fill in or select. Thanks!

Log-In data

Email

Password

Password Again

Contact Form

First Name

Last Name

Address

Postal Code/Zip Code

City

Then click registrieren.

Then click weiter.

Then you will receive a confirmation email. Click the link. Once you return to the page, log in and then click "ranking" and then find CROSSWAYS. Click it and then click vote.

The reason we ask for votes is for publicity. Julia's band is the only "Christian" band in the contest. They are Christian by their lyrics. Julia gets the lyrics from the Lord and her musicians are all not YET Christians. They will be. So, if they get a higher ranking, they will able to play more concerts in the are giving the name/the Lord more opportunity in the region. She doesn't care to win, just to get their name out there.
You are great! We appreciate your help!

Redeeming Grace and Nurturing Glory

2008-10-11T03:28:00.000-04:00

Two ingredients the Lord has been stirring into my heart.

I feel like a pancake batter being turned into crepes (yes, just for you Jason!). It's like my batter has the lumps in it that any good pancake chef knows are necessary for the PERFECT pancake consistency. The lumps needn't be stirred out and they must also not be too large. They are precisely what is required for a pancake breakfast. Crepes, on the other hand (or in the other griddle), require the batter is completely beaten until smooth. The ingredients between the basic pancake and the basic crepe are the same, though the latter calls for more sugar. This mixing process; rather, the beating process, is what makes the difference in texture.

The Lord is beating some of these lumps out of me. Some of the lumps are little and some bigger, but He is carefully stirring through, making sure He touches each lump. Some of the lumps were things that were "okay" or "good" for the last years. These were things that were even necessary for what the Lord had for me in the past. As I said, they were good things. Now, though, He needs something slightly different. He still wants me, Cree, with the taste He intended. He still wants Cree for the ideas He has purposed. It's just time for a new look and a new feel. It is time for New Life. Just as Sulamit has been praying, there will also be a new sweetness in me as a crepe.

So how does breakfast/dessert relate to "redeeming grace and nurturing glory"? The redeeming grace seems to speak for itself. The grace of the Lord is so great that He desires to transform me from one shape to the next. He makes me new. Isn't it amazing how the mercies and love of the Father are new each day? How each day we are being transformed into something new? Yeah yeah yeah...anyway... about the nurturing glory. As the Lord takes us into new things and changes us, the question is often, "okay, God, so how do I do this? How do I be this new thing?" His response is simple- a willing heart and time in His presence. His glory is such that none can stand. Being face to face with the god of the universe; hand in hand with the savior to all mankind, is what nurtures and fosters this change. Yes, I (we) need to make the deliberate decision to allow this change and to step into this change, but we do that best by being the midst of the Lord. Yeah yeah, "read my Bible and pray." NO! Make your way into the throne room, sit on the King's lap and let Him bathe you with His glory. Never been to the throne room? Don't even know what that means? Ask me for more detail in a more personal setting (ahem, email). Or, simply ask the Holy Spirit what this means and tell Him that though you don't understand where or what this is, you are willing to learn. I can assure you He will begin to take you there. And when He does, buckle your seat belt, it is going to be an indescribably adventurous ride.

The summation::

I am doing alright. I am aching, hurting, learning and growing. But, I am okay. I am situated... excuse me, situating myself into a new seat of trust. I've lost it all and I am losing more. It's a great time!

Five Reasons to Fall In Love...

2008-09-24T10:33:00.001-04:00

As I wrote a response to Erin's current poll, I decided I wanted to share with you some of what makes my heart beat for Maryland.

1. Maryland Blue Crabs. They are a staple food of Maryland, if not THE staple of Maryland.

2. Small towns to big cities.

The rural Western Maryland spreads its horizon for farming while to the East and South, the district is all about business and politics. I grew up in Western Howard County (Glenelg, to be precise). My home is on a farm but a short jaunt in the car lands me in a municipal. In between WHC and Baltimore, there is Old Ellicott City, lending itself to the quaint at heart. Toward the south, we cross through Montgomery County before meeting D.C. I mention MoCo out of respect for my family and church.e! Our capital city, Annapolis is beautiful, to say the least.

3. Mountains, Fields, and the Ocean. What's not to love when you can have the best of all worlds? The hills of the Appalachian Mountain Range offer a beautiful realm of opportunity for hiking and biking . Spend an afternoon at Sugarloaf or a day at Cunningham Falls for a simple, relaxing time outdoors. From swimming in the Ocean to rafting down a River or fishing in the Bay, there are plenty of water-related activities offered across the State as well.

4. Baseball. Though Friday night student tickets have increased in price, it is still worth the trip downtown.

5. Four seasons.

Some of you who read my blog have never been to Maryland, or are now living in Maryland though you are from elsewhere. I did not do justice representing my State and all it has to offer, but hopefully, these few things will entice you to look further.

Karl-Franzens-Universität Graz

2008-09-23T09:57:00.000-04:00

I am a student! Huzzah! I went to the Uni today to turn in yet another document. The woman who has graciously handled my situation for the last 4 months announced, "Gut. Alles klar.' Meaning, "Good. That's everything." I asked if there was a letter from the Uni that stated my admissions and she said I should have received it already. Apparently, it was sent to my address in Maryland about a month ago (dang it) but she copied the letter for me and gave me more information about the little things.

I took my German language placement exam Monday morning. It went alright- I will find out the course details next Wednesday and it begins on Friday. I'm looking forward to getting started on that. It feels to good to see things really coming together. *sigh* We serve a mighty God. Like I've said before- He blesses obedience; be in obedience.

Till

2008-09-17T07:11:00.000-04:00

In my time here, I expected Sulamit to help teach me German. As of this week, she is also teaching me English. Did you know that the little money box is called a "till"? I guess I probably did at some point learn this, but I did not recall such a word for this "cash box" until this week.

One school complete, one in mid-progress, and one to go! It has been a successful week. Yesterday, Sula and I managed our first school in Graz. We were so proud of ourselves in the end! Thursday we will do a check-out and then Friday we have to organize the last school for the month. It should be calmer for a time regarding these BLAST schools. It will be nice to get into the office to clean and (re-)organize some things.

The current run down of random details:
Today I was supposed to go to a "Hütte" with Sonja, J, and Uschi. A "hütte" is a hut or cabin in the alps. They plan to hunt for mushrooms and just enjoy quiet time in the woods. I made the opt to stay in Graz today when I awoke this morning thinking of the many things I need to do. Sad, but true. We have House Group tonight. It will be great, as Julia is doing our lesson.
Thursday, Mike will take me to a doctor to get this little form taken care of for the University. It isn't a huge deal and they say it will take just 5-10 minutes. It merely has to be done. Also on Thursday, I need to go to BLAST Hill and manage the work for the last school this week.
Friday, I go to Eggersdorf to meet with the other English teachers. We will organize some schedule for me at this time. I'm thinkin' that Schoolhouse Rock might have to make an appearance in Eggersdorf this fall. Friday afternoon I finish the check-in requirements for the School and then the School starts. I will attend this one! It will be good and I am looking forward to it.
Monday, I will take my German placement exam! I am looking forward to getting this over with.
Tuesday, hopefully, I can deliver the last (I pray) documents to the Uni and then I will await my letter of admissions.

And now, back to work. :-(

Wanna be Just Like You.....

2008-09-08T15:00:00.000-04:00

The God we serve astonishes me with His graceful power. A revelation of who I am poured over me throughout the last week. I felt lost and desperate, not knowing where to turn for someone to simply understand. Wisdom and words of comfort were of no use. I needed someone to sit with me (Job 2:11-13) and recognize my suffering. I sought the Lord hour after hour for such assuagement. Speaking Psalm 116:7 to my soul, He brought peace to my weary heart. As I allowed Him to humble me, He taught me more intimately about His heart. When time came for me to emerge from the supernatural and spend time with people, I felt my soul quickly running back into a place of hiding. Again, desperation fell on me. So, I sought the Lord and cried to Him a plea for deliverance. I begged Him for a merciful revelation of how to level my emotions. His response was that which I had been avoiding, "Be vulnerable with me..." I told Him very pointedly, "No, not here. Not with these people I don't even know if I can trust." "You trust me?" He left me silent. Within moments, tears fell from my eyes. I did not just cry, but I wept. In time, the Lord settled me down again. At this point, I knew only to do what Cle would tell me to do- drink some tea and read my Bible till I feel safe again. I did that. While it worked for the brief moments I allowed, my sweet Jesus brought me to a safe place to be vulnerable . . . again. This time, as a child.

While on a walk tonight, the Lord spoke to me about this time being my Esther year. This excites me! He brought me to this song by Jason Upton. I've heard it many times, but tonight it spoke through me on a different level.
Just Like You
I tried to walk on the water and found myself under the sea
So with water up my nose I felt your hand come close to save me
I’ve tried to cast out the demons I’ve gone to the darkest of regions
When fear has me shaking you suddenly break in to save me

I desire
To be like you
Like any son or daughter
I want to be like my Father
I desire to be like you
You promised to never forsake me
So I’ll risk it all if you’ll make me like You

You stand beside me just waiting while I try to go it alone
Smiling You say son come here won’t you let me just help you
But frustrated I try to make it cause I’ve just got something to prove
Not knowing it is my weakness that perfects your power

JOY IS IN THE HOUSE!

2008-09-04T05:45:00.000-04:00

A lot of Joy!
1. House Group was AWESOME last night! We have three members who are going to America (funny, isn't it?) this month. Two leave this weekend and the third (Ina) leaves in two weeks. We had a long time of worship together last night. Mmm so good. The Lord was pushing me through some things and I was getting pretty frustrated with Him. After some time, Sula and Suky prayed for me and for a releasing of the joy in my heart. It was good. I was in a GREAT mood yesterday/last night but because I was getting so frustrated waiting for the Lord, I lost track of from where my strength comes- JOY! After worship, Sula did a short lesson. We talked Sunday night about how we want to start House Group (after a summer hiatus) before these guys go to America so that when/if they return, they are still connected. This way, we don't have a "new" HG when they come back. Then we celebrated! Mmm good food.

2. Regine and I went to the Uni today to check on the progress of my paperwork. The last I knew, the woman handling my files was trying to find evidence that a note from UNL was sufficient to the UniGraz expectations. She never told us if she found what she needed; and after being gone for a week, I was unsure about where things are standing. Expecting a long line of incoming students, Regine and I were pleasantly surprised to find only one girl in line in front of us for the particular woman with whom we needed to speak. Praise the Lord! We gave this woman (the same woman has handled my papers all along) my name and she pulled my file. She stated that my application had been sent and that I needed to go to some other office to take my German Language Placement Exam. We will go next week to register for this exam- it is required for admissions that I take it. Sometime in these next weeks, we will FINALLY hear if I am accepted as a student at UniGraz. Pray this is a FAST process. Considering the admissions office now has my application, it means that all the documents I have given the Uni are correct. Really, we are just awaiting their review of my app and then a yea or nay. I'm not worried about being accepted (something about already having a University degree gives me confidence that I will be accepted here) but more want this to be handled quickly so that, as we all know, I can finally submit my visa application.

3. Michi is da! Well, not now, he was here. Karina picked him up a little while ago. I am having lunch with Karina and Herta (the woman I will live with from October until I leave). Karina brought a special someone to Graz with her today... she brought JOY! I love this dog. See the pictures of her from this morning. As I said, JOY IS IN THE HOUSE!

I bless each of you with an attitude of fervent prayer and a trusting in the Spirit that becomes whom/what you are.

I love you! I miss you.

V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N

2008-09-02T03:01:00.000-04:00

Ahhh, Croatia. We had a great vacation. I cannot clearly explain to you how we really did NOTHING for an entire week. It was amazing! We sat in the sun, read, prayed, worshipped, swam, went for walks, watched movies (and episodes of Alias), enjoyed the Center of Baska, cooked, went for ice cream and drinks (because we wouldn't be who we are, otherwise!).... and so on. Like I said, it was great.
I had good time to press into the Spirit and seek some directions for my time here. This was a key. Now that I am back, my work-load has picked up the pace. I spent the day yesterday in the BLAST office working with Ina and Sula. Mostly, Ina gave an overview of some things that need to be taken care of regularly. I can't believe she leaves for PA in just a couple of weeks now. I am a little nervous about taking over all of her responsibilities. *deep breath* I CAN be a Type-A. I CAN be a Type-A. It will be alright. Franz has decided that I will take Ina's position and Sula will be my assistant as I need her. We already have three ministry schools approaching in the next two weeks. This is what has us busiest right now- registration and manual translation. It feels good to have so much work, though. I finally have a sense of ownership. I'm not just floating around waiting for things to start any more- I am here and I am working.
Speaking of work, I am supposed to meet my co-teacher this week. I have some lesson plans that I need to finish writing for her. Any one have any great ideas for conversation-focused lesson plans for 12-14 year olds?
I hope you are all doing well. Some of you have been heavy on my heart recently (especially those of you with leaky roofs). For you especially, know that I have not been able to rest in intercession for you since July. You stand on good ground.
My kids who started college this month- I'm proud of you guys! I hope you are enjoying these changes!

Stupid Americans

2008-08-23T08:11:00.000-04:00

**WARNING** CONTENT MAY CONTAIN EMOTIONALLY CHARGED MATERIAL

Well, hello there!
We just left Jason and Denisha at the airport. Last year, when I was preparing to leave my famous quote was, "Stupid Balkan nations and stupid people from the Ballkans!" Today, when we got in the car, Julia asked me if I was okay and I told her, "No. . . . Stupid Americans." It was a good laugh, that's for sure.

It's hard. As she said, while standing in the airport watching our friends go through security, my last American connection left. This is the hard part. I love the Kirschen- but we said our goodbyes back in May. Them leaving this afternoon means that I am finally here. I am staying here. This is "for good". It is official- I have moved to Graz. That's what is hard at this point. I know, it was my choice and I am happy with my choice of obedience. And, knowing I am being obedient is my only comfort at this point.
I guess that isn't my only comfort......

.....Thanks, Justin and DC for planning a wedding for next summer, by the way. That brings me a lot of comfort, too... :-) ... assuming I am invited.

Some MUCH needed time with my Jesus is a must at this point. I wanted to write a few lines, though, to let ya know where I am and what's coming. Julia and I leave for Krk, Croatia in the middle of the night tonight. We will be there for the week for vacay! We are really looking forward to this week....mmmm.... water, sun, beach, quiet, rest, reading, writing, worship, prayer closet, walks, breathing, coming into freedom to new levels.... ahh, our God is good. Anyway, I will touch base when I can again.

Video blog

2008-08-17T05:22:00.000-04:00

Duration Announcement!!

2008-08-07T09:04:00.000-04:00

It is official- as of this morning, I will be staying in Austria for a MINIMUM of two years. Well, at least, I will be maintaining my phone contract until then. Julia and I were very busy this morning making arrangements for me. We signed a phone and internet contract. I am officially reachable via Handy! Except, I don't think that I will ever again call it a 'Handy'.... I will send an email with the new number momentarily.

Other things Austrian-
We went to Parschlug Wednesday morning to play with Joy (notice her in the bottom left corner of my title-photo). and to eat lunch with Karina, Julia's mom. It was a great morning. Joy warmed up to me quickly again- I think she remembers me as her ignorant American friend who does not know how to give dog commands in German. ;-) Lunch time was simply enjoyable. Let's just say that Karina is FAR better at "hello" than she is at "goodbye." I love my family here. Taking Joy for a walk was a given for the afternoon. Karina and I enjoyed that time alone together. She gave me a few German books. Mostly elementary school grammar workbooks. I took some time to read "Mr Messy" (in German of course) to Julia and Karina. They enjoyed the story though I didn't understand the majority of what I read.
Last night, we went to House Group. It was my first time seeing a few familiar faces. It was a night of prayer and worship for seeking vision for the HG this new year. We are helping provide a service for the teens of Graz this Friday night. There are great and exciting things beginning with this generation world wide- I look forward to seeing what that looks like here. Pray for the youth- worldwide, this generation is on fire! Expect more.
The Kirsch's arrive early tomorrow morning!!! We are going to have a lot of fun together! Uschi, Julia, and I already figured out some good plans for this weekend. We have church at Exousia Saturday night. It should be an adventure of a service just before the SOW. Speaking of, the School of the Word (SOW) is this Monday-Friday. Mmm....so much meat and such great worship.

1740

2008-08-04T16:35:00.000-04:00

I am sitting at IAD waiting for departure. I learned last night that I my flight had been cancelled as the result of a recent Lufthansa strike. Praise God, they already had me confirmed for a later flight today! :-) I will still arrive in Graz at the same time.
Jason and Denisha arrive on Friday!! EeeeEEEEeeee!!! I am excited to see them! I have a lot of ministry responsibilities right when I arrive-- from House Group to worship services for the youth of Graz. SOW begins on Monday, leaving this weekend very full of work and preparations.

Keep me updated!
Much love.

Here We Go

2008-07-27T15:41:00.000-04:00

Growing up, moving on
Here we go, not looking back, not turning 'round.
Here we go.
Packing in, Rising up
Here we go, recognize it's time to say goodbye;
And smile on.

The way is clear and doors are open.
Here we go, not looking back, not turning 'round.
Here we go
Why wait for another chance?
One at a time, chances shine and waiting now could mean waiting a life time.
Here we go, recognize it's time to say goodbye;
Don't give in and don 't give up. Time will tell...
And smile on.

Is this the end or just the start?
Here we go, not looking back, not turning 'round.
Here we go.
Where next will hearts depart?
Here we go, recognize it's time to say goodbye;
And smile on.

Growing up, moving on
Here we go, not looking back, not turning 'round.
Here we go.
Packing in, Rising up
Here we go, recognize it's time to say goodbye;
And smile on.

Excited!

2008-07-25T19:51:00.000-04:00

Here I am, ten days from departure. I'm feelin' good about it. The most frequent question I've been asked recently is, "are you nervous?" No. I'm not nervous. I am eager to see my sister and the family. I am excited to play with Joy. I look forward to games with Petra. The Kirsch's will be there three days after I arrive, so I am also looking forward to seeing them again. I love the food and the language. I cannot yet call the culture mine, but I look forward to owning it. Bureaucracy is bureaucracy. I cannot say when things will come together for my visa, but I know that they will. I do not fret about it any more. I am now simply confident to go and do what it is that I have spent these years preparing to do. The first days will be marked with celebrating and preparations for the SOW. I pray that I am able to take my Visa Application to the officials that week before the SOW. This would mean the University processes my paperwork immediately so that I can prove that I am a student. Please pray for this. My application documents arrived (again) on the 21st (yes, Amy was correct with her faith-filled optimism) and now I am hoping for the favor of the Lord to fall upon these documents. The sooner I hear about my student status, the better. I must apply for my visa as soon as I possibly can after my arrival so that I can receive my visa before three months pass and in time for me to start at the University.

Music. Music. Music. I am looking forward to playing for SOW and Exousia. I am looking forward to playing with my sister. I am also looking forward to playing at Christ Fellowship Church here in Maryland for the next two Sunday's. It will be great to play with the team again after such a hiatus and prior to another. I love my church family.

I had an amazing time with my Servant team again this week. I love my kids. All of you- Nebraskans and Marylanders alike -are an incredible asset to my life, the Kingdom, and the purposes of the Lord. God bless you. I miss many of you already, and others I know I will miss greatly after next Friday.

Below, you'll find some examples of why I miss my 'Braskans so much!

Sachertorte

2008-07-25T19:45:00.000-04:00

Sachertorte
From the book: Kaffeehaus: The Best Desserts from the Classic Cafés of Vienna, Budapest, and Prague | © 2002
by Rick Rodgers
recipe
reviews (9)
my notes
Editor's note: The recipe and introductory text below are excerpted from Rick Rodgers's book Kaffeehaus: The Best Desserts from the Classic Cafés of Vienna, Budapest, and Prague. Rodgers also shared some helpful cooking tips exclusively with Epicurious, which we've added at the bottom of the page.

To read more about Austrian cooking, click here.

In the past few years, bakers have been upping the ante with chocolate desserts (think of your local American bistro's "warm chocolate cakes with gooey chocolate centers"). The Sachertorte is a refined, elegant combination of chocolate flavors, complemented by a compulsory mound of Schlag. The whipped cream is an important part of the picture, as it moistens the frankly firm cake layers. Every bit of Sachertorte is supposed to be dipped in the whipped cream. This version is based on the recipe in Das Grosse Sacher Backbuch ("The Big Sacher Baking Cook"), which should be a reliable source.

Don't expect the cake layer to look perfect; sometimes the air bubbles are large and make holes in the top of the cake. If that happens, take some cake trimmings and mash them with a little of the apricot glaze to make a paste, and use a metal icing spatula to "spackle" the holes with the mixture.

Servings: Makes 12 to 16 servings.

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ingredients

Torte
4 1/2 ounces high-quality bittersweet chocolate, finely chopped
9 tablespoons (1 stick plus 1 tablespoon) unsalted butter, at cool room temperature
1 cup confectioners' sugar
6 large eggs, separated, at room temperature
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 cup all-purpose flour (spoon gently into cup and level top)
Assembly
1 cup Apricot Glaze
Small Batch Chocolate Glaze
Sweetened Whipped Cream, for serving

preparation

1. To make the torte: Position a rack in the center of the oven and heat to 400°F. Lightly butter a 9-inch springform pan and line the bottom with a round of parchment or wax paper. Dust the sides of the pan with flour and tap out the excess.
2. In the top part of a double boiler over very hot, but not simmering, water, or in a microwave at medium power, melt the chocolate. Remove from the heat or the oven, and let stand, stirring often, until cool.

3. Beat the butter in the bowl of a heavy-duty standing mixer fitted with the paddle blade on medium-high speed until smooth, about 1 minute. On low speed, beat in the confectioners' sugar. Return the speed to medium-high and beat until light in color and texture, about 2 minutes. Beat in the egg yolks, one at a time, scraping down the sides of the bowl. Beat in the chocolate and vanilla.

4. Beat the egg whites and granulated sugar in a large bowl with a handheld electric mixer on high speed just until they form soft, shiny peaks. Do not overbeat. Stir about one fourth of the beaten whites into the chocolate mixture to lighten it, then fold in the remaining whites, leaving a few visible wisps of whites. Sift half of the flour over the chocolate mixture, and fold in with a large balloon whisk or rubber spatula. Repeat with the remaining flour.

5. Spread evenly in the pan. Bake until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean, about 45 minutes. (The cake will dome in the center.) Cool on a wire rack for 10 minutes. Remove the sides of the pan, and invert the cake onto the rack. Remove the paper and reinvert on another rack to turn right side up. Cool completely.

6. To assemble: Using a long serrated knife, trim the top of the cake to make it level. Cut the cake horizontally into two equal layers. Place one cake layer on an 8-inch cardboard round. Brush the top of the cake layer with the apricot glaze. Place the second cake layer on top and brush again. Brush the top and sides of the cake with the remaining glaze. Transfer the cake to a wire rack placed over a jelly-roll pan lined with waxed paper. Let cool until the glaze is set.

7. Make the chocolate glaze (it must be freshly made and warm). Pour all of the warm chocolate glaze on top of the cake. Using a metal offset spatula, gently smooth the glaze over the cake, allowing it to run down the sides, being sure that the glaze completely coats the cake (patch any bare spots with the spatula and the icing that has dripped). Cool until the glaze is barely set, then transfer the cake to a serving plate. Refrigerate until the glaze is completely set, at least 1 hour. Remove the cake from the refrigerator about 1 hour before serving.

8. To serve, slice with a sharp knife dipped into hot water. Serve with a large dollop of whipped cream on the side.

MAKE AHEAD
The cake can be prepared up to 2 days ahead and stored in an airtight cake container at room temperature.

Extra! Tips from Epicurious:
• Quality ingredients will really make a difference in this cake. Valhrona chocolate is perfect because of its dark, almost bitter flavor. For the most authenticity, look for the Austrian brand D'Arbo apricot preserves and Austrian Stroh rum for the glaze.
• For the best results, be generous with the apricot glaze — don't miss a spot, and let plenty sink into the cake before you pour on the chocolate.

One Day More

2008-07-17T19:38:00.000-04:00

Oh dear friends, time is passing me faster than I anticipated. It's been nearly two months since I've seen many of you, though it feels like it was just last week when we shared such a fun car ride to Omaha! "G.P. are you with me?" Maryland, as I've said, has been far more enjoyable than I ever anticipated. Thank you, to the many of you, who have prayed and continued praying me through this time. May you be blessed 100-fold for being a blessing. The Lord is good and has been showing His faithfulness. Healing in many relationships has become evident. Thank you, Father.

Austrian efforts have been mildly troublesome. Okay, I take that back. It's just been bad and hard. Most of it has been settled and straightened out, prayerfully, and things are moving forward again. I leave in a matter of weeks, now- 2.5 weeks to be accurate.

Last night, I had dinner at Jarrod and Christine's house. On the way down, I was thinking and praying about everything. This was the first time in a while that I have been able to really reflect on life. I leave in 2.5 weeks. In the few weeks I have been here, so much has happened. Our church has been through tough times, my family is changing greatly, and I've been blessed with some new relationships. All of which, I resolve to a praise-filled stature. God, you are not only good, but you are a GREAT God!

I love working with Grace Adventures. The days are long and more often than not exhausting, but I love being there. I love the kids. I love the environment. I love my coworkers. We are coming to the conclusion of our second week with campers. This week, I've been a counselor for 5th and 6th grade girls. I was not entirely enthused about my position this week, but I have thoroughly enjoyed this opportunity. After a morning assembly, my group has "Counselor Planned Activity Time." I asked my girls this morning what they wanted and they chose to have extra Bible time! Thursday is Gospel Day, so I was eager to do Bible time, anyway. I asked the girls what they wanted to talk about during our "extra Bible Time" and one of the girl's opened her Bible to a page with the question, "what is the Gospel?" scribed across the middle of it, in large print. I smiled. This was my opportunity to share my testimony with these girls. Upon conclusion, they all were able to quickly relate my testimony to that of Stephen (our Bible character of the week). They all know Christ as savior and are learning what it means for Him to become Lord. Hearing my story opened their precious little hearts to a whole new world of what communion with the Spirit means. I pray they continue to grow as they approach middle and high school. They really are great girls.

However, I am ready for the weekend. This weekend will include time with some family Friday evening in Silver Spring, Opera Camp performances Saturday evening, playing for worship on Sunday, and the annual Pig Roast on Sunday afternoon until it is time for Fusion!

progress report

2008-07-05T15:35:00.000-04:00

Many have been asking about where things stand regarding these changes from the recent weeks. My University application materials arrived to Julia on Friday, July 4th. She will take them to the offices next week for me. The Visa application is presumably coming along. I have my International Driving Permit. I need to pick up a few more electrical adapters, call my bank, get a passport-photo for my Visa app, find an insurance for the first two months, and take care of some other little things. Everything is coming together quite readily.

I am eager for 3:30pm on August 4 to arrive. Don't get me wrong, though, I am truly looking forward to these next four weeks. Looking so brightly at this place has not been in my vision for many years. It feels good to like being here again. I've been blessed richly. My church family is incredible and growing together through some painful experiences makes it easier to allow myself to be more "at home" here.

We started training for camp last week. I really like all of my coworkers. We all seem to get along well as we have one focus but are all very different in personality and perspective. Having fun together has been easy. :-) We're looking forward to meeting our campers on Monday. This job will be a great way to spend my time for these next weeks.

Speaking of these weeks, I have a lot in my schedule. Next weekend I have to go down to southern VA and NC for about 24-32 hours. The following weekend I am going out with some of my cousins and we have a pig roast on the 20th with some family friends. Timmy comes up from Winston-Salem the 27th-2nd. Vance's wedding is the 2nd. I leave the 4th! Whoo-hoo!

Missing my Nebraskans goes without saying.

As always,

I know, I'm a Music Dork

2008-06-27T16:40:00.000-04:00

few changes to plans

2008-06-15T15:44:00.000-04:00

As you may have heard, we've had some complications....
more cat pictures.

Saving you all the details, as of a week ago, I will enroll at the University in Graz and head over on a Student Visa.

In the mean time, give yourself a few laughs!

www.icanhascheezburger.com
www.failblog.org
www.ihasahotdog.com

An End meets a Beginning... or some place in between...

2008-06-02T17:06:00.000-04:00

Well, here it is, folks, the blog you’ve all been waiting for! Okay, so maybe you haven’t been waiting and you really don’t even care. BUT, I thought it’d be a good venue to keep you informed about the happenings in my life.

Truly, though, it is only fair for me to keep you updated on my life if you also intend to keep me included in YOUR life! That being said, please do not be bashful to send me emails, post comments, or give me a call!

So the first little update::

I arrived in Maryland late Tuesday night. These last couple of days have been mostly enjoyable. My heart is still aching for the community it knows, but adjusting to life here is also good. My mom is hosting a graduation celebration this weekend- many family and friends will flood our property. I’m looking forward to the festivities! I have an Aunt and Uncle living in upstate NY and I have only seen them a few times since I first moved to Lincoln. They will come into town late tonight!

Well, I hope that I am a good steward to this blogging life! Please be patient with me if I’m not consistent in updates!